Excuses???

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packersfan0103
packersfan0103 Posts: 250 Member
in Motivation and Support
Starting over. Nothing more frustrating. When you have to stop tending to certain areas of your life because certain personal situations. I've heard the saying so many times "stop making excuses" but I don't think they are, just excuses. Just legitimate reasons as to why. My life is as follows. I work a regular Monday through Friday 7:00 A.M.- 3:30 P.M., for now. After work I head home. Have dinner with my husband and and 2 remaining children. 15 and 17 years old. After we've eaten we head to work again. 12 years ago my husband thought of way to make extra money for bills and rent, we live in California. He asked his employer if could take over the nightly janitorial service. So we spend a few hours a night doing that. He recently obtained another account. While I'm happy to have a husband that works so that he makes sure his family has what they need and I don't mind helping him if he needs me but I hate that I can't get to the gym on a regular basis. I started thinking well maybe if I tried to to the gym thing again maybe I could go after we clean at night. No matter how late it is but I'm tired. How much would I really get out of a work out if I'm just going through the motions and I'm really not that into it? So for now. Well at least for the next 3 weeks while the kids are on summer break I'm going to try to get myself to the gym before work. I hate to have to start a routine then break it. Some might say, "then don't". Well here is the thing about my 15 year old. She is Autistic. High functioning but still needs a little more supervision then most kids her age. Once school starts my hours at work will change. I will have to stay home until I see put her on the school bus then take my 17 years old to school. I'm so glad this is his last year. The most frustrating part about all of this is how do I try to take of my own needs without feeling like I'm being selfish?
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Replies

  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
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    You're not being selfish taking care of your needs. I know it's hard as a mom but you have to look after yourself. Heck you're looking after everyone else's who's looking after you? You're crazy busy take a few minutes for yourself. :)
  • laurenebargar
    laurenebargar Posts: 3,081 Member
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    I too have these feelings, although I dont have as many obligations as you do. The good news is you dont need to exercise to lose weight. However it would be nice to have the time to go to the gym, you could probably go for a walk at night? or do an exercise video at home? I too struggle with finding time to exercise after working all day, typically Ill go for about a two hour walk with my husband and dog, then you come home,make dinner and its already time to go to bed. Its hard to fit it in your schedule, you could also walk on your lunch break?
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,716 Member
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    My parents had a part-time janitorial business when I was growing up so I worked with them some nights and every weekend. Then, when my youngest son was born I took 2 years off work but still wanted an income so I cleaned houses 4 days a week and I have to say I was in good shape because that is a physically active job. I didn't go to the gym during that time. I'd walk occasionally but being active helped. Maybe you can view your evening cleaning job AS your workout?

    Also, not sure of the laws in CA but is your son old enough or able to drive himself to school yet?
  • packersfan0103
    packersfan0103 Posts: 250 Member
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    He is of age. We just need to get him a car. Easier said than done. I tried to look at cleaning as a work out but it has just become so routine I don't think it's doing much for me as far as weight loss.
  • packersfan0103
    packersfan0103 Posts: 250 Member
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    laurenebargar wrote: »
    I too have these feelings, although I dont have as many obligations as you do. The good news is you dont need to exercise to lose weight. However it would be nice to have the time to go to the gym, you could probably go for a walk at night? or do an exercise video at home? I too struggle with finding time to exercise after working all day, typically Ill go for about a two hour walk with my husband and dog, then you come home,make dinner and its already time to go to bed. Its hard to fit it in your schedule, you could also walk on your lunch break?

    Unfortunately. I live up against some hills and my husband doesn't like me going out at night because of the coyotes. Walking on my lunch break. I do but I only get a 30 minute lunch.
  • Cat3141
    Cat3141 Posts: 162 Member
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    I don't have any suggestions, but I did want to say, from what you describe, you have real barriers to exercise--you are not making excuses. Additionally, as others have pointed out, cleaning is movement as are short walks. It's maybe not the sort of "hardcore" exercise people think of as exercise, but you are moving your body, and it does have some benefit.
  • ahhgrapes1968
    ahhgrapes1968 Posts: 5 Member
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    I bet if you put some thought into and used the net you could come up with some great ideas to get a great workout while you're cleaning. It may be a challenge but I bet you can do it. Don't just look at the chores but look at what the building has to offers. i.e. stairs, items to lift, hallways to run in, etc. It's the "if life hands you lemons, why not make lemonade" philosophy. Plus you're a Packers fan, so I know you can do this!
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    Keep in mind that you don't need exercise to lose weight. Just cut your calories a little more. If anything that will save a little time as you wont have to make as much food and you will eat your meals a little faster since there will be less food.

    Working out is for healthy and body composition, a caloric deficit (can be from diet alone) is all that is needed for weight loss.
  • timtam163
    timtam163 Posts: 500 Member
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    This happens to a lot of people in a caretaking role, and it's a legitimate reason to struggle with self-care. But there is that nugget of wisdom in airline safety videos: put your oxygen mask on before assisting someone else with theirs. How can you help someone else if you can't help yourself? Obviously it's easier said than done to find time/energy to practice self-care, but start with things that are manageable that you can do. Substitute one of your side dishes with a vegetable dish at dinner, or aim for 10 minutes at the gym in the morning (not a lot of time, but enough to get you in the door and give you some time for yourself). It sounds like your family life demands a lot of energy from you; if you want an unselfish goal, make it about having enough energy to care for others as well as yourself. Or if there's a way to involve family in your pursuit of an active lifestyle, try that. I hope you are able to find a balance amidst the chaos.
  • packersfan0103
    packersfan0103 Posts: 250 Member
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    erickirb wrote: »
    Keep in mind that you don't need exercise to lose weight. Just cut your calories a little more. If anything that will save a little time as you wont have to make as much food and you will eat your meals a little faster since there will be less food.

    Working out is for healthy and body composition, a caloric deficit (can be from diet alone) is all that is needed for weight loss.

    Try to do that but I have an insatiable sweet tooth. Ok. I guess that one is an excuse.
  • packersfan0103
    packersfan0103 Posts: 250 Member
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    Cat3141 wrote: »
    I don't have any suggestions, but I did want to say, from what you describe, you have real barriers to exercise--you are not making excuses. Additionally, as others have pointed out, cleaning is movement as are short walks. It's maybe not the sort of "hardcore" exercise people think of as exercise, but you are moving your body, and it does have some benefit.

    Yes. I was thinking at least I'm not gaining and I'm completely aware of the fact that I really should be watching what I'm eating. I've been told that once you hit 40 that's the weight you'll maintain the the rest of your life. I'm 41 now. I'm so hoping that person was wrong. I'm just glad that after being a surrogate and carrying twins I was able to lose all of the pregnancy weight.
  • packersfan0103
    packersfan0103 Posts: 250 Member
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    ahhgrapes1968 wrote: »
    I bet if you put some thought into and used the net you could come up with some great ideas to get a great workout while you're cleaning. It may be a challenge but I bet you can do it. Don't just look at the chores but look at what the building has to offers. i.e. stairs, items to lift, hallways to run in, etc. It's the "if life hands you lemons, why not make lemonade" philosophy. Plus you're a Packers fan, so I know you can do this!

    Thanks. Yeah the one thing about the cleaning is that it is in a two story building so I always make sure to take the stairs.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,177 Member
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    packersfan0103 wrote: »
    Cat3141 wrote: »
    I don't have any suggestions, but I did want to say, from what you describe, you have real barriers to exercise--you are not making excuses. Additionally, as others have pointed out, cleaning is movement as are short walks. It's maybe not the sort of "hardcore" exercise people think of as exercise, but you are moving your body, and it does have some benefit.

    Yes. I was thinking at least I'm not gaining and I'm completely aware of the fact that I really should be watching what I'm eating. I've been told that once you hit 40 that's the weight you'll maintain the the rest of your life. I'm 41 now. I'm so hoping that person was wrong.

    That person was wrong.

    I put a bit of effort in when I was 48 and dropped to a weight I hadn't seen since I was in my early 30s.

  • packersfan0103
    packersfan0103 Posts: 250 Member
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    timtam163 wrote: »
    This happens to a lot of people in a caretaking role, and it's a legitimate reason to struggle with self-care. But there is that nugget of wisdom in airline safety videos: put your oxygen mask on before assisting someone else with theirs. How can you help someone else if you can't help yourself? Obviously it's easier said than done to find time/energy to practice self-care, but start with things that are manageable that you can do. Substitute one of your side dishes with a vegetable dish at dinner, or aim for 10 minutes at the gym in the morning (not a lot of time, but enough to get you in the door and give you some time for yourself). It sounds like your family life demands a lot of energy from you; if you want an unselfish goal, make it about having enough energy to care for others as well as yourself. Or if there's a way to involve family in your pursuit of an active lifestyle, try that. I hope you are able to find a balance amidst the chaos.

    Thanks. I'm trying to find a balance. I remembered I have a smart TV. So I have purchased mini trampoline because I heard rebounding exercises are good for you. I figured I could pull up videos on YouTube. Oh and I heard kettlebell exercises are really good as well. So I think I'll pick one of those up.
  • packersfan0103
    packersfan0103 Posts: 250 Member
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    @laurenebargar @Cat3141 @ahhgrapes1968 @erickirb @timtam163
    Thank you all for your responses. I'd like if you all would add me for motivation and support. Thanks again!!!
  • everycontinent
    everycontinent Posts: 5 Member
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    Another option would be to add exercises to the cleaning routine. Maybe walking lunges from point to point. Or 10 squats/push-ups every time to finish a room/task. Run/sprint to each task. Jumping jacks every 3rd trashcan you empty..etc...I bet you could figure out a whole routine that wouldn't add much time to the job (or even reduce the time it takes). Have fun with it...
  • CaliMomTeach
    CaliMomTeach Posts: 745 Member
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    Getting an elliptical at home was the only way I could fit in exercise last year. I am a full-time teacher and was in full-time graduate school and had full custody of my first and fifth grader who went to soccer, gymnastics, tennis etc... I lost over 50 pounds, mostly by staying in a calorie deficit. I don't think the exercise is what did it, though it made me feel healthier and stronger. The more I exercise, the more I want to eat though. I think that we can always track calories, weigh food, and stick to a calorie deficit no matter how busy our lives are. I do not know many people who had less free time than I did last year. Now, that I've finished school and am on summer break I could definitely fit in the gym, but I don't think I could keep it up in the school year with the kids' after-school activities. Having the elliptical at home makes it easier because I don't have to drag my kids to a childcare program at the gym and get all three of us ready to go, I can do it anytime, morning or night, and don't even have to make sure I have decent clothes clean for the gym. I'm sure the same is true for putting in a DVD or pulling up an on-demand video for exercise.
  • packersfan0103
    packersfan0103 Posts: 250 Member
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    Well. I fell off the wagon again. I read somewhere something about how consistency is key. I am so inconsistent with this. I picked up the kettlebell but I think the inconsistent workouts are due to being so soar I don't feel like I can move the next day. although I have lost just 3 whole pounds. I have like 60 more to go. So today is day 1, again.
  • curiousgp
    curiousgp Posts: 122 Member
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    Perhaps you need to build in rest days? Plan out three kb days a week...change it up or rest the other four?
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
    edited November 2017
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    I'd start with watching your calorie intake no matter if you exercise or not.
    Walking is something I fit in. If I can't walk outside I walk inside my house. I got a pedometer and try to hit a certain number of steps per day. I gradually increased the amount from where I started.
    Start slower with exercise so you are not so sore and build it over time.
    Every day is a new day.

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