Feeling unloved

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BEBR2014
BEBR2014 Posts: 15 Member
in Motivation and Support
My boyfriend of six years has been cheating on me for the past year when I found out and confronted him he broke up with me to with this woman and I have to honestly say that I feel like if I was skinnier would he have love me more. I know mentally that is not the reason but that's my default. It is so many things. I revert to "I was not good enough"

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  • timtam163
    timtam163 Posts: 500 Member
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    That is ABSOLUTELY not true. He clearly cannot handle adult relationships. It has nothing to do with you. Be angry with him, not with yourself and your body.
  • NurseKristi81
    NurseKristi81 Posts: 90 Member
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    I agree with all the above! Its not you! Its him that is a complete moron!
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    Cheaters are cheaters no matter who you are. If a respectable man really couldn't handle the way you look, he would have politely broken up with you.
  • TexasChainsawMarla
    TexasChainsawMarla Posts: 3 Member
    edited July 2017
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    I'm sorry BEBR2014, I am actually going through the same thing, we've been butting heads for awhile cause i would catch him on apps *kitten* off, espeecially this app is how i caught him. He was talkin *kitten* about me to SOME of the.... excuse me i'm gonna call them *kitten*, while i'm waiting for him at home, however its not really the females fault. Unless she knows he's takin then she is just an *kitten*. God i can't stand ho's and cheaters. I look at it like this, my heart is broken, i lost it earlier this year mentally i relapsed and got into a dark place. But because of his *kitten* on here and the other apps, i started exercising getting in shape tgen he started getting very insecure, it made me stronger. Im diagnosed bi-polar too so it will take a toll on you. I know your hurting ma, it'll pass i promise. Work out, go to the park, walking and jogging helps you will feel so much better. I smoke a fat bowl after i exercise it's the best. Cause the last time he saw me he couldnt stop lookin lol! It's their loss. We don't need people tearing us down, we'll be alright. Hang in there ma!♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
  • ankur02964
    ankur02964 Posts: 10 Member
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    People who chest can never stay firm on their decision and will always lack commitment. Chuck him out of your life, i'm not saying you deserve better or that everything will be great from now on, but he certainly doesn't deserve you and yeah, f**k him.
  • cathipa
    cathipa Posts: 2,991 Member
    edited July 2017
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    Don't ever think "if I was ________ then he/she would have stayed". If someone doesn't want you due to a physical attribute then you don't need them. He is the one with the problem. Be glad he's gone so you can get on with your life. Chances are he will cheat on her too.
  • ankur02964
    ankur02964 Posts: 10 Member
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    *cheat
  • tg16nullity
    tg16nullity Posts: 56 Member
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    BEBR2014 wrote: »
    My boyfriend of six years has been cheating on me for the past year when I found out and confronted him he broke up with me to with this woman and I have to honestly say that I feel like if I was skinnier would he have love me more. I know mentally that is not the reason but that's my default. It is so many things. I revert to "I was not good enough"

    Stop that! Dude sounds like a complete doofus (to put it mildly). Don't take this the wrong way (or do!) but you're a babe! After 6 years it sounds like you are due for an upgrade in the boyfriend department. Just take it slow and don't rush into anything. Spend time making peace with it all and working on yourself- not because you need work but to help repair any damage to your confidence. Someone better will come along before you know it. Someone who will truly appreciate you. Hang in there!
  • rednote49
    rednote49 Posts: 124 Member
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    Remind yourself every day that you are a gosh darn great woman. That you are capable of amazing things. You do not need the love of a weak man. You are worthy of a man who knows your worth. Mr. Loser just freed up space for Mr. Right.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    edited July 2017
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    If he did this then you weren't meant to be with him and your options are now more open to find the right person, Thank goodness he stopped wasting your time, now if you feel so inclined take some of that anger and sadness dig deep and use it to make yourself even better (or whatever you need to do to feel better about yourself) I was cheated on, I used the emotions to help me get in shape and take control after a few months while I was looking better and already back to dating and he was being cheated on :) it all comes back around, and please remember this happens all the time, to almost everyone at some point it we all feel the same way, and sometimes it's important so you can appreciate a truly good person when they come along. So don't feel alone, nearly everyone has gone through this and some of us more than once...........gotta kiss a lot of toads sister, but it's because you are only trying to find one.
  • fjmartini
    fjmartini Posts: 1,149 Member
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    Good thing you were just dating. I'm sure it's tough for you but you've gotta call yourself out for punishing yourself. If a person's going to cheat they'll cheat. It has very little to do with their significant other unless it does. You're looks wouldn't cause it, so stop dwelling on that. You have to be honest with yourself and if you did act in ways that would push him away you need to work on those. If you've never felt as if there was an issue then he just cheated out of his own insecurity and there's nothing you could've done about that. If I were you I'd approach the event as if you're an oursider giving advice to yourself. Be objective and honest and you'll gain confidence in yourself.
  • fjmartini
    fjmartini Posts: 1,149 Member
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    Stop wasting time on the past. You can't change it but you can determine how your future goes. I've always said to my friends that if a person is worth heartache or fighting for, you wouldn't have to.
  • silverlining78
    silverlining78 Posts: 7 Member
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    I hear you on that and can identify with those same feelings, BEBR2014
  • Carriebear174
    Carriebear174 Posts: 50 Member
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    I know how you feel my husband of ten years had affair i took it to be because i wasnt good enough i went has far as making myself bulimic thinking that would solve the problem. It took alot of counseling and the support of friends to relize it was him. My point is your beautiful and your never alone, keep your head up and do this for you because you deserve it.
  • clicketykeys
    clicketykeys Posts: 6,568 Member
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    You deserve better than someone who lies and breaks their promises.
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
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    It is a natural feeling it really is. However nobody deserves to be cheated on. I mean he did not only cheat on you with the woman, but lord knows what he told her about his relationship with you. So chances are he was dishonest with her too.
    Now really the truth is, you deserve better than somebody that is not honest. He was not good enough for you, he is the one that went the wrong way, not just the once, but a whole year. He is the loser, not you.

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