Echo chamber of "you can do it."

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fjmartini
fjmartini Posts: 1,149 Member
I check in here once in a while and the one constant is people using catchy slogans and tag lines to people's posts. I rarely see actionable advise that's concise. I understand sometimes people need to hear kind words but I think it's more beneficial to hear the honesty needed to get the job done.
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  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
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    Agreed! We need more "you will probably fail... and die alone." :lol:

    Reverse motivation could be the next big thing. :D
  • fjmartini
    fjmartini Posts: 1,149 Member
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    Agreed! We need more "you will probably fail... and die alone." :lol:

    I didn't say that. The truth is most people have set backs, most people temporarily fail often, and most people feel lost. I think they're better served knowing these things happen to everyone, even the most "successful." The difference I've found is the more often someone stumbles and gets back up the more resolve they build. Sometimes when they fall they need actionable information that's a little more detailed other than "you're great! You can do it!"
  • threecharms
    threecharms Posts: 36 Member
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    I've tried that. I take it a step further and recommend that people do the hard work of asking themselves the underlying reasons for why they reach for food when their body doesn't need it. For many, including myself, it's hard emotional work. Without addressing those underlying issues, either you won't lose or if you lose, you'll gain it back eventually. But that's not a popular response 'round these parts. People are only interested in what's happening in the moment and want an EXTERNAL fix.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    It's hard to know exactly what some anonymous poster really needs. I'm sure there are times when kind words are more important than specific instructions. But that's the beauty of a public forum, posters usually get both.
  • fjmartini
    fjmartini Posts: 1,149 Member
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    My wife tells me I'm too analytical in general. I'm not cold, I understand people's feelings are more complex than mine. I think that if a person is willing to verbalize a concern then they want to find an approach to resolve the issue.
  • fjmartini
    fjmartini Posts: 1,149 Member
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    fjmartini wrote: »
    I check in here once in a while and the one constant is people using catchy slogans and tag lines to people's posts. I rarely see actionable advise that's concise. I understand sometimes people need to hear kind words but I think it's more beneficial to hear the honesty needed to get the job done.

    Well this is a twist! Usually, people on the boards complain that we're all too mean. This is the first time I've seen anyone complain we're too nice.

    Be the change you want to see on the boards. I see a lot of tough love and actionable advice, but I'm burnt out on trying to provide more of it. If you want to see it around here, I'd suggest jumping in to answer more threads.

    I've been trying. The only point of view I can know for sure is mine. I can kick myself in the *kitten* when I need to and it's worked much better than feeling sorry for myself. The way I see things is that if a person isn't physically or mentally disabled than there isn't much in the way of success other than themselves.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    fjmartini wrote: »
    I check in here once in a while and the one constant is people using catchy slogans and tag lines to people's posts. I rarely see actionable advise that's concise. I understand sometimes people need to hear kind words but I think it's more beneficial to hear the honesty needed to get the job done.

    Take off your blinders and read more threads. People offer actionable advice day in and day out.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I actually think this place is great for honest, real advice. So often so that the OP tends to accuse the people giving the 'real' advice of being meanies and bullying. It's disheartening.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    fjmartini wrote: »
    The way I see things is that if a person isn't physically or mentally disabled than there isn't much in the way of success other than themselves.

    What about emotional issues? I'm assuming you don't have any, which is great, but lots do.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    fjmartini wrote: »
    My wife tells me I'm too analytical in general. I'm not cold, I understand people's feelings are more complex than mine. I think that if a person is willing to verbalize a concern then they want to find an approach to resolve the issue.

    Nope. Sometimes people just want to know they aren't alone. That's it. Some really just don't need advice. If you think that they don't get advice beyond "you can do it" you need to read more threads.
  • seska422
    seska422 Posts: 3,217 Member
    edited July 2017
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    A member a while back put together a great flowchart with concise and actionable advice that keeps getting posted to threads.

    74w042rai4c8.jpg
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,862 Member
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    Read more threads. Actionable advice is everywhere. And so is support. Who knows what people "need". We all do our best to help others. The more the better. Your analytic approach will speak to some as well.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,894 Member
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    fjmartini wrote: »
    I check in here once in a while and the one constant is people using catchy slogans and tag lines to people's posts. I rarely see actionable advise that's concise. I understand sometimes people need to hear kind words but I think it's more beneficial to hear the honesty needed to get the job done.

    That's funny ...

    Every time someone says "you can do it" to me, I wonder how they know. What qualities have I exhibited to make them type with such confidence "you can do it"? Why do you think I can do it?


    (For me, this usually applies to taking on long distance bicycle rides)

  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,483 Member
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    fjmartini wrote: »
    I check in here once in a while and the one constant is people using catchy slogans and tag lines to people's posts. I rarely see actionable advise that's concise. I understand sometimes people need to hear kind words but I think it's more beneficial to hear the honesty needed to get the job done.

    Out of all the thousands of members of this site, I would say there are less than a thousand, and that is being generous, that post regularly.

    Trying to troubleshoot another persons problems is frustrating, especially when you have to use a voice that isn't naturally your own, because straight talk is often taken as offensive, mean, or cruel- not truethful,or honest based on the limited information the poster has given.

    We lose a lot of people like @diannethegeek through burn out, others, some of the best, because they have been banned- quite often for being blunt with the truth.

    Be the man that makes the change. (Catchy slogan)

    Don't just pop in occasionally then complain that we are ineffective, take an active part in making these forums more effective.

    I, by no means a prolific poster, put a lot of time and energy into trying to help- you have just slapped me in the face.

    h.
  • Poisonedpawn78
    Poisonedpawn78 Posts: 1,145 Member
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    t0dxq143a3zs.jpeg
  • InkAndApples
    InkAndApples Posts: 201 Member
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    This is the motivation and support section of the forum, what were you expecting?

    General Diet and Weightloss Help has loads of actionable advice posted every single day. Go there.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,467 Member
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    Ok. You can't do it. Or more likely, you probably won't do it.

    Actionable advice: Calculate at moderate calorie deficit, log your intake and prepare to spend the time for it to work. May help to consider in advance how you will deal with feeling discouraged at some point.