'You're not fat'

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Msfugly
Msfugly Posts: 25 Member
in Motivation and Support
You know what I hate ... absolutely dispise?
When people who know your on a diet ask how your diets going and say 'you're not fat though?'....
Now listen hun I weigh 13st13lb and I know to some that isn't much but I was 16st3lb (i've only recently joined this app)... I am 5ft4 my BMI is around 30 I think ..... I am clinically defined as obese! But I can understand somtimes I don't look fat I'm not blowing my own trumpet but clothes are amazing things .. you get the right top on with the right pair of jeans and maybe a Cardigan you can easily look smaller.. but when those clothes come off hun it's a different game ... I have wobbly thighs that resemble nothing more than a pale jelly...a mum tum that looks like a deflated blood shot eyeball from the stretch marks... I have enough chins to know if ever in public to try not look down at my phone (If I'm having a particularly delicate day) I have love handles that will shock and amuse.. and since being a kid I've been that fat kid... kinda got over that though when I hit secondary school because I freaking love food there is litterally no two ways around it I like grub and I do not care if it bothers you that I wobble or my thighs chafe (and oh my do they chafe)

So even if to you I might not look fat trust me hen, I am but that's okay! Because even with all the wobbly bits and the chunky bits and my 7 chins I love myself I'm confident and I'm happy... but I can bet my bulbous *kitten* I'd love myself more after I drop a few more stone!

So instead of saying your not fat when you've asked how my diet is going please just say somthing else or nothing at all. Had a life of parents and grandparents reminding me I was fat .. incase I forgot I guess ? Lol

*don't be fooled by my photo good lighting fab angle can make anyone drop a dress size! If only it was that easy huh?* :p>:)

Replies

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,951 Member
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    Only a few select people knew I was on a diet ... OK, only one. My husband, and only because he cooks dinner. If I could have kept it from him too, I would have.

    Saved on all the comments until I reached a point where I was back into a normal BMI range, and my weight loss was quite noticeable.
  • sophie9492015
    sophie9492015 Posts: 204 Member
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    So irritating right! Its like well you can have your opinion but its my body and i want to make it better, so stopp!
  • Msfugly
    Msfugly Posts: 25 Member
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    Machka9 wrote: »
    Only a few select people knew I was on a diet ... OK, only one. My husband, and only because he cooks dinner. If I could have kept it from him too, I would have.

    Saved on all the comments until I reached a point where I was back into a normal BMI range, and my weight loss was quite noticeable.

    I try to keep it that way I originally told my mum because we was doing it together ... she told her MIL and my gran ... and her neice etc etc x
  • Msfugly
    Msfugly Posts: 25 Member
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    sophie9492015 wrote: »
    So irritating right! Its like well you can have your opinion but its my body and i want to make it better, so stopp!

    Yes ! Exactly ! Unless I've asked 'do you think I'm fat?' Chances are I don't care if you think I am or not lol
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    And thats why you dont talk about 'being on a diet'....
  • Msfugly
    Msfugly Posts: 25 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    And thats why you dont talk about 'being on a diet'....

    Have a look at one of my previous comments :)
  • perkymommy
    perkymommy Posts: 1,642 Member
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    I'm only 4'11 and started out weighing a little over 150 lbs. I had people tell me I wasn't overweight either and like you say the right choice of clothing will cover most obvious chub up. My 15 yr old is the worst at telling me I'm not big and how there are people bigger than me and I know she's just trying to make me feel good but yeah I wouldn't want others telling me that either. I know I'm huge because I see myself naked and I step on those scales every now and then and get reminded I'm obese for my height and body frame.

    Just do you and don't tell anyone you are dieting and that might keep the comments at bay. I stopped telling people I am trying to lose and still talk about how much I struggle with eating and what not just so they don't catch on. :D It works.
  • Msfugly
    Msfugly Posts: 25 Member
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    perkymommy wrote: »
    I'm only 4'11 and started out weighing a little over 150 lbs. I had people tell me I wasn't overweight either and like you say the right choice of clothing will cover most obvious chub up. My 15 yr old is the worst at telling me I'm not big and how there are people bigger than me and I know she's just trying to make me feel good but yeah I wouldn't want others telling me that either. I know I'm huge because I see myself naked and I step on those scales every now and then and get reminded I'm obese for my height and body frame.

    Just do you and don't tell anyone you are dieting and that might keep the comments at bay. I stopped telling people I am trying to lose and still talk about how much I struggle with eating and what not just so they don't catch on. :D It works.

    Know that one ... I've stopped telling people now my problem is the few I've told have told people I don't even talk to so on the odd occasion I see them they feel the need to question me on it:( X
  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    And thats why you dont talk about 'being on a diet'....

    Everyone knows I'm on a diet. Whenever someone new rolls up at my work and says 'why do you need to diet? Look at you!' I simply tell them 'I look this way BECAUSE I'm on a diet.'

    If there's ever a question about diet or fitness, my coworkers/family/friends always come to me.
  • Don64V2
    Don64V2 Posts: 26 Member
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    I don't tell anyone that I am on a diet, except my wife and she is always very supportive. When people mention that they have noticed I have lost weight, I just downplay it. I am losing weight and getting healthier for me, not for other people.
  • Msfugly
    Msfugly Posts: 25 Member
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    Don64V2 wrote: »
    I don't tell anyone that I am on a diet, except my wife and she is always very supportive. When people mention that they have noticed I have lost weight, I just downplay it. I am losing weight and getting healthier for me, not for other people.

    Love this
  • CMNVA
    CMNVA Posts: 733 Member
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    The other thing is, at least in the U.S., we now have a very distorted sense of what is a normal body weight and what is "fat." There are so many heavy people now that people really don't know anymore when someone is overweight. They may not be doing it to irritate you at all. It's like "beer glasses" or "rose colored" glasses. Our perception of a healthy weight is VERY distorted.

    I'm probably quite a bit older than you and I remember being in elementary-high school. It was very rare to have an overweight kid in school. And when there was one, everyone knew that so-and-so was the fat kid. Now when I look back at those pictures and I see the "fat kid" I cannot believe we thought he/she was fat. Compared to today, that child does not look overweight.

    So, yeah, I'm rambling now--but many people really don't know what is acceptable weight-wise anymore.
  • Msfugly
    Msfugly Posts: 25 Member
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    CMNVA wrote: »
    The other thing is, at least in the U.S., we now have a very distorted sense of what is a normal body weight and what is "fat." There are so many heavy people now that people really don't know anymore when someone is overweight. They may not be doing it to irritate you at all. It's like "beer glasses" or "rose colored" glasses. Our perception of a healthy weight is VERY distorted.

    I'm probably quite a bit older than you and I remember being in elementary-high school. It was very rare to have an overweight kid in school. And when there was one, everyone knew that so-and-so was the fat kid. Now when I look back at those pictures and I see the "fat kid" I cannot believe we thought he/she was fat. Compared to today, that child does not look overweight.

    So, yeah, I'm rambling now--but many people really don't know what is acceptable weight-wise anymore.

    See I feel like in the UK if you've got a slight double chin your perceived as 'fat' ... but what's rose glasses ? I've heard of beer Goggles but not rose glasses
  • HeliumIsNoble
    HeliumIsNoble Posts: 1,213 Member
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    Msfugly wrote: »
    CMNVA wrote: »
    The other thing is, at least in the U.S., we now have a very distorted sense of what is a normal body weight and what is "fat." There are so many heavy people now that people really don't know anymore when someone is overweight. They may not be doing it to irritate you at all. It's like "beer glasses" or "rose colored" glasses. Our perception of a healthy weight is VERY distorted.

    I'm probably quite a bit older than you and I remember being in elementary-high school. It was very rare to have an overweight kid in school. And when there was one, everyone knew that so-and-so was the fat kid. Now when I look back at those pictures and I see the "fat kid" I cannot believe we thought he/she was fat. Compared to today, that child does not look overweight.

    So, yeah, I'm rambling now--but many people really don't know what is acceptable weight-wise anymore.

    See I feel like in the UK if you've got a slight double chin your perceived as 'fat' ... but what's rose glasses ? I've heard of beer Goggles but not rose glasses
    It's an idiom, with two forms (rose-coloured glasses or rose-tinted glasses) for only seeing things in a positive way.

    Great discussion of it here: https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/257566/origin-of-rose-tinted-glasses
  • CMNVA
    CMNVA Posts: 733 Member
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    Yes, beer glassas and rose colored glasses do have two different meanings but both denote not really seeing things they way they truly are for various reasons!
  • threecharms
    threecharms Posts: 36 Member
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    I have a friend who has been overweight/ obese her whole life, now is medicated for diabetes. When I told her I was trying to cut out refined sugar, she was like, "oh you're one of those people now? You're not even fat!" I think the obesity epidemic has totally clouded what people think of as fat/ unhealthy. Oh well, we just keep on, right?

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