Advise for someone 500+ lbs that has given up on Life...

syates83
syates83 Posts: 87
edited September 2024 in Health and Weight Loss
My friend's mother has given up...completely. Any advice you could give on how to get her on track would be excellent...my friend also struggles with depression herself and is obese. I don't want to see her follow her Mother's path.

Gastric Bypass is not an option at this point...and she's not able to leave her home...just taking a few steps exhausts her and diet is really the only solution until she becomes mobile again.

Any advice or success stories are appreciated.

Replies

  • candicemaechling
    candicemaechling Posts: 152 Member
    If she can't leave is the family bringing her food since she can't move if so they will need help and support too
  • Gigi_licious
    Gigi_licious Posts: 1,185 Member
    Who ever cares for her needs to make healthier meals. Also, if she has access to the internet, she can google "650lb Virgin". It was a show that aired on Oxygyn or Own about a guy who lost 430lbs without surgery.
  • Katie3784
    Katie3784 Posts: 543
    If she can't leave is the family bringing her food since she can't move if so they will need help and support too
    Totally agree
  • yeahfatty
    yeahfatty Posts: 228 Member
    Who ever cares for her needs to make healthier meals. Also, if she has access to the internet, she can google "650lb Virgin". It was a show that aired on Oxygyn or Own about a guy who lost 430lbs without surgery.

    wow .. that's inspirational .. gonna ask my friend google when i get home about that story!
  • cheeksv
    cheeksv Posts: 521 Member
    I agree! The people in her life need to take that first step she will be grateful for it in th future. Also what about those little pedal things you can get and use either with your feet or hands? You sit and pedal or sit with it on your lap and use it to move your arms. I think from what you said anything can help! even if it is just to get her into a routine of having to be as active as possible it could be a start.
  • fitgirl4life
    fitgirl4life Posts: 111 Member
    Maybe you could show her my new MFP friend's blog: http://www.500lbs2marathon.com

    Very inspirational!
  • Jconner30
    Jconner30 Posts: 311
    I'm not an expert, but someone is an enabler. She needs to first stop drinking sodas and switch to water! The food she is eating is causing her depression! Switch her to lots of veggies and lean meat. Stay away from pasta and breads. Have her eat lots of small meals to jump her metabolism and to shrink the stomach.

    As for exercises. Get her some dumbells and have her do some arm liftings. Have her get up off the couch, stand, and then set back down. Do this about 10 times at first. Increase as the stamina gets back up. The frown will start to become a smile!

    Also, explain to her that she did not get this way overnight and she will not get to a normal weight overnight. Its a long process that takes dedication and commitment over the long haul!
  • tkirkes
    tkirkes Posts: 121
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoljgJqWL7k&feature=related

    Maybe this will help give you some idea of where to start...

    Or Do something : )
  • syates83
    syates83 Posts: 87
    Thanks everyone...her husband is her primary care taker and he's honestly fed up with her attitude about diet and exercise. She keeps threatening to end it...I've been trying to encourage them to get professional help. He has medical power of attorney so he can make the call.
    She's only 62, it's so hard to make someone do something they don't want to do. But, it's the only way if she's going to live.
  • Artemis_Acorn
    Artemis_Acorn Posts: 836 Member
    The problems that brought your friend's mother to this place are not just physical and medical - there are deep-seated psychological issues at work as well, and this is something that will suck energy and time from any who intervene or are involved as caregivers. That is not to say you shouldn't try - just go into it with eyes open to all of the realities of the situation.

    What she needs the most right now is hope. Hope for the future, hope for herself, hope that it isn't too late. All the discouraging things that set us up for failure will be working on her tenfold. Without knowing anything about her besides her 'situation', it's hard to suggest what might motivate her. Some people actually respond to a swift kick in the rear, but others need TLC and a gentle but honest form of encouragement. In any case, I would start with a complete blood workup (they can send a tech to the house to draw the blood) to get a clear picture of the status of any medical problems. Is she diabetic, hypothyroid or hypertensive for example. There's a good chance she is. There may be some medications she can take to address the worst physical symptoms if she isn't already.

    Then...
    Surround her with signs of life. Bring little children around her. Play upbeat / uptempo music with a positive message. (This can actually raise the heart-rate all on it's own.) Then try to get her to MOVE to the music - even if it's just her arms at first. Bring her fresh flowers. Open the windows so she gets fresh air. Talk about the future with a positive attitude. Tell her she's loved and that she's needed. Tell her that she CAN get healthier. If she is religious, pray with her. Empower her with options and healthier food. Her daughter can even make a deal that they will do it together.

    And after all this, It is possible that you'll need to get her professional help. Ultimately, the desire to change must come from within herself. That desire, and the urgency to keep fighting for life will have to be rekindled repeatedly, for what she faces is a daunting uphill battle, but many have done it before her - it IS something that can be conquered. But she'll have to change, just as each of us with weight to lose must change. Once she embraces that reality, she may just stand a chance.
  • milaxx
    milaxx Posts: 1,122 Member
    My friend's mother has given up...completely. Any advice you could give on how to get her on track would be excellent...my friend also struggles with depression herself and is obese. I don't want to see her follow her Mother's path.

    Gastric Bypass is not an option at this point...and she's not able to leave her home...just taking a few steps exhausts her and diet is really the only solution until she becomes mobile again.

    Any advice or success stories are appreciated.
    I'll have to check, but you could google, there is a workout you can do while sitting in a chair. Also if you can get her to a pool she can work out in the pool. Not even full blown water aerobics, just walk the length of the pool will help.
    Sadly she will need professional help and we all know you can;t make someone do anything they don;t want to do Just give them encouragement best you can. it may help to focus more on health as opposed to weight loss.
  • YamRector
    YamRector Posts: 74 Member
    I second every word you said! Well said!
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