So mad right now...

crb1988
crb1988 Posts: 134 Member
edited September 30 in Motivation and Support
Okay, so I know that a loss of 18 pounds in 8 1/2 weeks is something to be proud of, and I am. I don't want to sound conceited, but I know that I have worked hard to get where I am.

Here is why I am so upset right now:

Lately, people have made comments about my weight, and it's really making me mad. I know that I'm not a size 0 and in perfect physical condition, but I'm doing what I need to do to be healthier. Here are a few of the comments:

"Are you okay? You look like you have put on a few pounds. It might be time to go on a diet"

"I want to quit smoking but I don't want to get fat." (Looks at me) "But at least I have someone I can relate to if I do gain weight."

"Hey girls, I have lost 45 pounds in four months." (Looks at me) "Looks like the heaviest girl in the office is you now."

I really would love to tell these people where they can go, but I'm too nice. When these comments have been made, I haven't said anything to the person. How should I handle this situation? In the past, people have never really said anything to me about my size. Although I'm in the 200's, I have a lot of strength and endurance. I have never thought of myself as "fat" but these comments are really beginning to make me wonder if I have been living in denial my whole life.

Replies

  • jb_sweet_99
    jb_sweet_99 Posts: 856 Member
    Wow, that's brutal! Sorry you've had to deal with that abuse. Don't pay attention to them, you are doing great. Tell em all to shove it!
  • sunniebeehealthy
    sunniebeehealthy Posts: 25 Member
    I'm so sorry. Tell them you spend so much time working on yourself you have no time left to criticize others..that'll shut them up. Happy Friday. Keep your head up and your feet moving in the right direction :)
  • Kminor67
    Kminor67 Posts: 900 Member
    People are rude. F*** 'em! YOu do what you have to do to be healthy and happy, and who gives a rat's patootie what they think!?!
  • alischaid
    alischaid Posts: 46 Member
    Seriously! I would talk to HR, but that's me, I don't care about stirring the pot.
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    Because of my personality, I'd make some smart *kitten* comment back to them.

    I honestly can't believe people ACTUALLY say these things to others though, like, really?

    Tell them to encourage, not discourage.

    Prove them wrong with actions! People are always going to talk out their *kitten*, use that as fuel in your workouts to push you further, faster,etc.

    I do this and it works for me :)
  • Sgriffin2382
    Sgriffin2382 Posts: 360 Member
    Agreed with above! People really can be bit**** sometimes. Don't let anyone bring you down. Be proud of the progress you have made/are making.
  • SarahFrankel
    SarahFrankel Posts: 42 Member
    Oh my gosh! I can't believe anyone would actually speak that way to another human being. If these are people at work, I would report them for harassment.
  • ohwhataday
    ohwhataday Posts: 1,398 Member
    Wowwww. Just because you think it doesn't mean you should SAY it. I hate people for this reason.
  • kristy3119
    kristy3119 Posts: 46 Member
    EW! Who are these people? "Friends"? Or coworkers? Either way, anyone who is that ridiculously rude a) has no place in your life, and b) clearly has some sort of self esteem issues. Anyone who is happy doesn't need to make other people feel badly about themselves.

    Ugh, I am seriously disgusted that people like that actually exist!
  • LauraDubbleya
    LauraDubbleya Posts: 79 Member
    Holy Crow. I can't believe the rude and insensitive comments these people have been making. Where in the heck do you work? A government office? lol.

    When someone says, Looks like you are the heaviest person in the office now, I'd reply sweetly " That 45 lbs you lost must have been all brain cells honey cuz that was the stupidest thing you've said today!" or something like that. I dunno.. I'd have been fired for decking the idiot right there in the office!! lol.

    Remember who you're doing this for. YOU. No one else matters, no one else's opinion of you matters. Let those ignorant comments roll off your back and keep being the success that you are.

    Eventually, each and every idiot that's made a comment like that will be eating them. Let THAT be your motivation. lol. Good luck and stay away from those yahoos.
  • bluegirl10
    bluegirl10 Posts: 695 Member
    First of all, Congrats on your weight loss so far! :) Second, I'm sorry you have to deal with that BS! Ignore them because they aren't worth your time if they have nothing nice to say! Hope you have a better weekend! :)
  • nananie2
    nananie2 Posts: 272 Member
    Wow... these people are awfully rude!!!

    Who do they think they are to feel justified to make comments like these? Please feel free to let them know what you think next time that happens to you... It can't be a one way street...

    Hope you're okay and that they get to you too much.

    I'm with you! Keep up the good work! :smile:
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
    You're too nice. I'd get in someones face fast. The next person just be like: "You know, I might be fat and I'm working on losing weight but you're ugly on the inside and it shows when you open your mouth."

    Stand up for yourself one time and see if the **** doesn't stop.
  • DiamondRubyMom
    DiamondRubyMom Posts: 147 Member
    If these comments are happening at work than that's harassment. Talk to your boss or HR department. Otherwise I think you need to stick up for yourself. maybe, "John, I can't believe you just said that. We all have our faults and obviously being a jerk is yours." I know it's tough when you consider yourself a nice person. This kinda talk though needs someone to stop it or the jerk will just find a new target. You're not just defending yourself, you're possibly stopping the next hurtful thing from being said to someone else.
  • WiiFitFan
    WiiFitFan Posts: 156 Member
    Wow, so sorry you have to work with people like that! Very inconsiderate. Try and ignore them and feel proud of yourself and your accomplishments. You are strong and you know you can do this. You have lots of friends here to support you! :flowerforyou:
  • tbisca1
    tbisca1 Posts: 142
    wow that is so unbelievable! Are we back in grade school where the bullies pick on people out on the playground? I am in agreement with the ones that say prove to them through your hard work not with words. Because nothing will shut them up and make their mouths drop more than you rocking your new fit and toned body! But you have to do it for you and not just to prove a point to them. If their comments continue I would definitely consider reporting them or try and distance yourself from them. You are doing great so don't get discouraged just use that negativity to fuel your journey. If you need a friend you can add me :happy:
  • VParee
    VParee Posts: 26
    "Are you okay? You look like you have put on a few pounds. It might be time to go on a diet"

    I would say "Really? Well! would you like to join me for a work out. Maybe you can tell me where I'm going wrong in my workouts" then show your stuff girl show your endurance

    I know of lots of slim people that have no endurance....I was at 203 and its takin me 6 months to lose 20lbs but for me it is a life change. So I'm not worried how long it gets me to get to may goal weight all i know that this is a way a life for me know.

    Sorry you have to hear all those bad comments.....Could be they are actually Jealous. Keep going fwd!!!
  • Mimigwen01
    Mimigwen01 Posts: 3
    Wow! That is so sad that they feel like they need to put someone else down; who is obviously taking steps to really do something about themselves, to feel BETTER about their miserable life.

    I'm so so so sorry you are dealing with this! My co-workers are very supportive and a few of them have even joined with me!
  • auroreia
    auroreia Posts: 10
    It sucks that people are so tactless and rude, you have a right to be angry! But you also have a right to be proud of yourself! Seems like you are doing an awesome job so far! Something that occurs to me, and this is a weird silver lining thing... but our society/culture tends to teach us that if someone is really overweight it's rude to stare or comment on it. So maybe 18 pounds ago people were consciously not saying anything about your weight... and now that you are almost 20 pounds less (go you!) you aren't fitting into that polite silence category anymore. I am in NO WAY saying that what these *kitten* said is ok or acceptable... I'm just trying to figure out what changed with people.
    Anyway, I would say confront them on their rudeness right then and there... someone says something snarky? Look them in the face and say, "I've lost 18 pounds in 2 months. I'm doing it the RIGHT way with diet and exercise and I don't appreciate you taking pot shots at me, so you can (to quote JB) shove it." Stand up for yourself CRB! And keep up the good work!
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
    You're too nice. I'd get in someones face fast. The next person just be like: "You know, I might be fat and I'm working on losing weight but you're ugly on the inside and it shows when you open your mouth."

    Stand up for yourself one time and see if the **** doesn't stop.

    I agree!! That is my personality too. I bet as soon as she stands up for herself they'll knock it off.
  • BeachGurl815
    BeachGurl815 Posts: 295 Member
    If these comments are happening at work than that's harassment. Talk to your boss or HR department. Otherwise I think you need to stick up for yourself. maybe, "John, I can't believe you just said that. We all have our faults and obviously being a jerk is yours." I know it's tough when you consider yourself a nice person. This kinda talk though needs someone to stop it or the jerk will just find a new target. You're not just defending yourself, you're possibly stopping the next hurtful thing from being said to someone else.

    This!
  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
    Really?!

    I know a lot of people, and I have a big circle of friends and coworkers...and NONE of them would ever think to say those things to me.

    How rude!!:grumble: :angry:

    I would thank my lucky stars that you are not only healthy, but committed and not nearly as mean as those people. Beauty fades, dumb and mean is forever :flowerforyou:
  • Terri_74
    Terri_74 Posts: 90 Member
    Some people are so rude and insensitive. :angry: Who are they to say those things grrrrr
    Just keep your end goal in mind, you are doing great. They really dont seem like they are worth the time of day and certainly not worth YOUR time.
    Good luck and keep doing what your doing :flowerforyou:
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