need a "talking to" about exercise 50-60 yo

I'm 61, and I don't relate to the idea of "doing exercise". Weak character that I am, I just like to have fun.

The trick, for me, was that as an inactive, out of shape, obese 46-year-old desk-job IT professional recently out of cancer treatment (6+ months of surgery, chemo, radiation, etc.), I found something active that was really fun: On water rowing. More about that later.

I'm not saying that you should row, necessarily. Maybe you should find a fun aqua-exercise group, or take up line dancing, or hike to bird-watch, or go to an ultra-chill relaxing yoga studio, or resume a childhood hobby like (I dunno) ice skating, or learn to kayak, or take golfing lessons, or learn tai chi, or .... or ... or ....

You need to decide what sounds potentially fun for you, and try it out. If you're not sure, take some beginner group classes, and commit to attending a full session of any class before giving up on it, even if it feels clumsy and impossible at first (as long as it doesn't actually hurt you in some way, of course). In my experience, anything complicated enough to stay fun in the long run is going to be somewhat daunting in the first session or two. Introduce yourself to the instructor, make clear that you're open to tips or modifications that will help you.

I go to my Y regularly. There are people of all ages and fitness levels. No one is out of place. Most people are friendly (a few are shy ). I've made friends there . . . and gym friends tend to be ones who'll want to do other fun active things with us - double win.

So, around 15 years ago, I learned to row. It was fun, but hard & scary. First, we worked on rowing machines. Just walking upstairs to the room was hard: Whew. I wanted to be able to kinda keep up, so I started doing Richard Simmons low-impact aerobics a couple of times a week, in between weekly rowing sessions.

And so on - wanting to do this fun thing better got me to do other things to be a better rower - off-season spin classes, weight training, stretching and yoga, swim lessons - not all at once, but over time, to improve my rowing ability. Most of them turned out to be fun, too! And I met more people doing them, we became friends, they turned me on to other fun active things we did together - virtuous cycle: More fun!

In season, I row 4 days a week, and take spin classes two days, plus do occasional bike rides and weight workouts. In Winter, I do some rowing machine, some swimming, and usually up the length & regularity of weight workouts.

This last Friday, I was out in a boat - one of those long skinny ones like in the Olympics, though ours was slower - with rowers who are 80-something, 71, 70, and (!) 26. Who's the least fit? The 26 y/o.

The 80-something guy rows every single day most of the year, for an hour or more. He also goes on regular bike rides - dozens of miles at a time. Guy's got washboard abs.

The 71-year-old woman - you'd swear she's maybe 55 - rows with me 4 days a week, lifts weights several days a week, takes multi-mile walks with her rambunctious dog, goes to pilates class (taught, not just to seniors, by her 71-year old husband, who has one knee replacement & one hip replacement) twice a week.

The 70 year old woman rows 3 times a week, goes out with a walking group most other days, and weight trains.

All of these people are strong, vital, active, generally healthy (one has osteopenia), energetic, and at a healthy weight. They take few or no medications. They seem to have no problems with daily life activities, including fairly challenging ones.

I also hang out with a group of mixed media artists in their 50s and 60s. Let's consider the 4 of them I see most often. Other than one who does pool exercises twice a week, they are very inactive. Two are severely obese, with mobility problems. One is substantially overweight, only one at a healthy weight.

They have problems with mobility. One gasps audibly from the exertion of walking from her handicap parking spot into the restaurant where we meet. Two are diabetic or prediabetic, take medication for high blood pressure and more, and sometimes struggle with side effects and drug interactions.

Most of them have difficulty with at least some daily life activities like yard work or heavier housework. They ask their adult children for help regularly with routine things.

These kinds of examples seem pretty graphic and instructive to me. I like all of these people, and they all have great character traits and I value them all as friends. But when it comes to choosing my future, I'm pretty clear which of these two groups I want to emulate, and it's pretty obvious to me how to do it.

We don't any of us have guarantees about our futures, but we do have choices. And choices have consequences. So, your call about "exercise".

Apologies for the novel. I feel pretty strongly about this.