Venus v Mars, the unfair struggle

peasblossom5
peasblossom5 Posts: 1 Member
in Motivation and Support
Vent/rant:

I've been trying& failing to get healthier & lose some weight over the past several years. This year I've tried harder and made SOME progress, (eating less, eating healthier, working out), of which I am proud. My husband gets a diabetes diagnosis and refuses to completely change his diet, save for ditching sodas & French fries. Last night he announced that he's lost 30lbs in 2 weeks! I'm sooooo super frustrated! I feel like, what's the point? I bust my butt and truly care and don't seem to get anywhere. He cuts sodas & French fries for two weeks and drops more weight than I have over the past 6 months!

Replies

  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    I totally understand this...I lift weights 3x/week, I actually life heavier weight than my husband...but I have gained a whopping 1/4 inch on my arms...it seems like he looks at a set of dumbells and his arms are bigger and visually more muscular...kind of makes me want to hit him with a brick...

    estrogen vs. testosterone...just keep doing what you are doing and recognize that physically men and women will never really be equal...they can pee standing up, we get multiple orgasms...it all balances out in the end!!!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    If he really dropped 30 Lbs (which I kinda question), most of that is water...it is mathematically impossible to drop 30 Lbs of fat in 2 weeks time.

    That said, if one has a lot of weight to lose it will come off quicker than someone who has less weight to lose, particularly initially...and then it will taper off to the normal 1-2 Lbs per week at best.
  • StealthHealth
    StealthHealth Posts: 2,417 Member
    peasblossom5 wrote: »
    Last night he announced that he's lost 30lbs in 2 weeks!

    ^^Unlikely - I think he's got that wrong, but in any case success isn't a finite quantity - if he gets more it doesn't mean that you get less.

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  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    Fairness doesn't enter into it in any case.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Not a fitness guru by any means. To lose 30lbs of fat in two weeks that means is was/is burning over 7000 calories (approximately 3500 calories per lbs) per day without taking in ANY calories. I just do not see how the numbers are equaling the the results of 30Lbs. Sure some of that is going to be water weight. You lose the water weight in the first couple of days (a week at most). Something else must be a factor besides 'ditching sodas & French fries'.
    If he is losing weight this fast he needs to be monitored by a doctor.

    Best of luck to both of you.
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    Besides what others have pointed out above--that his 30 pound loss may not be fat loss but more water loss, etc.--why do you compare yourself to him?

    He's got his weight to manage and you've got yours. It's not going to help anything to compare your progress and get resentful. You just do you.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Yes, but women can have multiple orgas....

    Let's leave that there and say that life isn't fair, swings and roundabouts and you do you etc.
  • JMinney7
    JMinney7 Posts: 61 Member
    I can sympathize. My husband and I started this together after I noticed he was looking really unhealthy with his shirt off. He weighed himself and found out he had gained 10lbs in a month. I was heavier than I wanted to be as well and I told him that we can't complain about it unless we were willing to do something about it. So, here we are. He has gone down 33 pounds. I've gone down 25. While it's not a big difference, it's natural for me to wish I had lost that many pounds too. He can eat more and still lose more...Then I remind myself, that I just want him to be healthy and his body needs more calories to work right. It's all good. I lost a steady amount of weight following my plan, and so did he. Good for him. He will also gain some back in bulkier muscle. I probably won't. The end result is we both will be healthier! Good Luck to you both and be proud of what you achieved.

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