Looking for guidance on lifting heavy weights... too embarrassed to ask people at gym for help :(

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So here's the deal... I would really like to know more about strength training with heavier weights because I've seen pictures of women who do this and they look fantastic. However, I've never lifted the heavy stuff before and I'm afraid I will hurt myself if I try to do it myself starting out.

I have a gym membership but I'm too shy and embarrassed to ask for help starting out. Also, they only "help" they have are personal trainers who set up booths and charge for their services, and I can't afford that.

So my question is... how should I go about proceeding? I have read "Strong Curves" and it was a great book that offered a lot of good pointers. Would a book suffice? None of my friends lift and I've posted here looking for fitness buddies in my area but got no response.

Replies

  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
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    Do an internet search of the lift(s) you want to try to see video on their form. Didn't/doesn't "Strong Curves" have picture showing you the lifts? Follow those. START LIGHT. Don't start heavy. You will be able to catch up on heavier lifts once you have tried lighter with good form. Start light. If you gym, as mine, has fixed barbells at weights lighter than the 45# empty bar, use them. "I've never lifted the heavy stuff before and I'm afraid I will hurt myself if I try to do it myself starting out." Hence, START LIGHT. There is nothing wrong with starting with body weight squats. If you're already there, use a 10# dumbbell for a goblet squat. Start light, work on good form and progress.
  • dubble818
    dubble818 Posts: 132 Member
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    I think you can probably swing a few dollars towards a trainer. Try signing up for 10 sessions and let them know your goal is to learn proper form for all of the major lifts. You won't regret it
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
    edited August 2017
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    Just do it. Watch form videos on the internet if you need them. bodybuilding.com has some good ones.

    And, yes, start light.

    Also, the heavy lifters at your gym may be willing to give tips here and there.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    Don't get intimated. Shy people don't learn.
  • Kintsugi_Haikyo
    Kintsugi_Haikyo Posts: 361 Member
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    @Princess TinyHeart, don't be afraid to ask someone at the gym. If you see someone who obviously knows what they are doing you can ask them instead of a trainer.

    And remember, when you are feeling shy: It isn't the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
  • Cherimoose
    Cherimoose Posts: 5,210 Member
    edited August 2017
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    I agree about the "start light" comment. Follow the book, and also watch several form tutorials on youtube for each of the compound lifts like squats & deadlifts. Also video yourself doing the lifts, from multiple angles.

    Be highly skeptical of advice in gyms, no matter how good their physique. Many people look good despite their mistakes, not because of them. :+1:
  • MsMaeFlowers
    MsMaeFlowers Posts: 261 Member
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    Stronglifts 5x5 is also a good place to start. He has really informative videos and articles for each of the lifts. And a free app for using at the gym.
  • Okiludy
    Okiludy Posts: 558 Member
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    Starting Strength, buy the book. Rippetoe is one of the best strength coaches for the compound lifts. The book will lay everything out. Watch his YouTube vids on form also.
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
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    Okiludy wrote: »
    Starting Strength, buy the book. Rippetoe is one of the best strength coaches for the compound lifts. The book will lay everything out. Watch his YouTube vids on form also.

    I also really like Alan Thrall's videos
  • heavensshadow
    heavensshadow Posts: 264 Member
    edited August 2017
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    Hey! You're in Norman! I'm in OKC (well, Midwest City)! I've been getting the lifting itch too, but don't have a gym to call "home". I'm considering getting my own power rack and weights, and then going from there.

    ETA: I know, this response isn't helpful. BUT, I *am* in your area. :grin:
  • BishopWankapin
    BishopWankapin Posts: 276 Member
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    Another yay for SL/SS. I think of Stronglifts like the quickstart guide you get with a piece of complicated tech. Starting Strength is the owner's manual that tells you virtually everything you'll need to know. That's not to say that there's not a thousand other programs out there that aren't awesome, but for an absolute beginner I'd get the info from Stronglifts since its free and start with that. Then ASAP buy Starting Strength, look through it and after you've built a solid strength base, you can use what you learned from it to adapt your program. Beyond that, decide what your strength and physique goals are and branch out to other programs.

    SL - https://stronglifts.com/
    SS - http://a.co/inKlrjl
  • SonyaCele
    SonyaCele Posts: 2,841 Member
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    Start out slow, learn the from and technique before worrying about going "heavy". it takes a while for your body to be conditioned for what you might consider heavy weight. Everyone's suggestions are great, and if you can get a PT, do that. But its so important to get solid with weights that are comfortable for you, get form and technique down and then progress slowly . Heavy lifting is awesome you'll love it.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
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    Stronglifts 5x5 is also a good place to start. He has really informative videos and articles for each of the lifts. And a free app for using at the gym.

    I find stronglifts to be too agressive of a program for people brand new at lifting.
    First and foremost is form. You can start progressing on weight until the form is good.

    OP. Pick one lift at a time and watch videos after videos, watch the form. Learn. To practice with very very low weight over and over again until you think you have the form down. Record yourself and watch the form.
    Again... form is the most important thing here before even thinking about lifting heavy. It takes time but it's worth it.

    Don't be shy, I see new people at the gym practicing all the time. I love it. I want to go and high five them. Who I don't want to high five are the ones lifting heavy with *kitten* form.

    PS. This post has probably a million typos, but blame my phone for it, not me.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
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    an mfp member gifted me with starting strength while i was doing sl, and that's where i learned bench, squats and deadlifting too. i will say though, that for me i don't think lifting ever would have stuck if i hadn't been willing to keep on learning, continuously. other people's mileage may vary, but for myself idk if i'll ever really feel like i've got it down.

    not trying to discourage you. just kind of thinking out loud, about how that's probably why i don't feel there's any such thing as a definitive guide to any sort of strength work. any source you start with is a good source for starting the learning process, is all.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
    edited August 2017
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    You've read Strong Curves. Do you like the program? I suggest you ask specific questions based on your comprehension of the program. What exactly are you looking for?

    Personally, I'd make the investment for personal training for one month to learn the compound lifts. I couldn't afford it. I did it. It changed my life. I was overweight my entire life...now I'm fit, and have a new hobby..and lifestyle. When I'm on my deathbed I won't be regretting that few hundred dollars I spent on at trainer.

  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    edited August 2017
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    bbell1985 wrote: »
    You've read Strong Curves. Do you like the program? I suggest you ask specific questions based on your comprehension of the program. What exactly are you looking for?

    Personally, I'd make the investment for personal training for one month to learn the compound lifts. I couldn't afford it. I did it. It changed my life. I was overweight my entire life...now I'm fit, and have a new hobby..and lifestyle. When I'm on my deathbed I won't be regretting that few hundred dollars I spent on at trainer.

    This.

    But, you have to be careful, because most 'trainers' will not endorse nor properly train a woman who wants to lift heavy. They will try to dissuade you, citing 'this and that' for how you will 'bulk up' and such. They will set you up for failure, then offer the safety net of cardio and pink dumbbells. They don't make money on women who achieve their goals in the gym, they make money on the women they convince to go through their gauntlet of cardio and low weight high rep machines, and most of them know it. Interview your trainers, find one who is excited you're wanting to enter the freeweight area! You'll most likely be able to tell the difference just in how they communicate with you about it.

    It's a tough gig breaking into lifting sometimes...for a man, or woman. I'm teaching my 5'2 102lb 19yr old daughter, and she's already surpassing many of the 'gym rats' in form. She will eventually surpass them in weight (men and women both), because she's lifting on a program with a dedicated purpose...rather than just 'bro' lifting where you put whatever feels right on the bar. She's pointed out (discreetly!) poor form in a number of people at the gym, which I encourage because it tells me she's thinking about it under her own motivation.

    With that said, here's a few other pointers. Download Jefit. It's a weight lifting app with pretty decent form animations. Build your workout in the app from the book you read if you liked it. Make your trainer teach you THOSE lifts. You will have the animations to check him with. Devour everything Mark Rippetoe on YouTube. Watch it, think about it, and watch it some more. You aren't ever going to get a better trainer than him. If your hired trainer tries to steer you too far from what you learned, be wary.

    Finally, I want to tell you congratulations and good for you! Nothing will change your body for the better like heavy lifting. Keep up the moderate cardio (I walk 3.5-4mph for an hour to an hour and a half, 4 days a week...and strength train 3), lift heavy...and your overall health will be dramatically improved.
  • BishopWankapin
    BishopWankapin Posts: 276 Member
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    Cris and bbell also excellent advice.
  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
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    "
    I find stronglifts to be too agressive of a program for people brand new at lifting.
    First and foremost is form. You can start progressing on weight until the form is good."

    It could be too aggressive BUT you do not HAVE to increase weight EVERY day. The app that comes with the program allows you to adjust the weight you're lifting manually. You can progress at your own pace. The program clearly states that if you feel you are getting ahead of yourself, you should "deload" decrease weight and start again.
  • crackpotbaby
    crackpotbaby Posts: 1,297 Member
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    'Becoming a supple leopard' by Kelly Starrett is a fantastic resource book for learning how to lift with correct form, identify and correct faults.

    Even one session with a good trainer can be invaluable for getting started though.