Unsupportive family, I has one.

Options
Cadenpet
Cadenpet Posts: 79
in Health and Weight Loss
First off let me tell you about me. I am 27, 5'6 , and weight 148.6 as of this morning. My user pic is very close to how I am now. Give or take like 3 lbs. My build is very large chest (34 DD), small waist, wide hips, and big thighs. My forearms , hands and feet have always been tiny. I wear a size 4 ring and children's bracelets fit easily. But that was also the case at 185lbs. And always had a collarbone. When I gain weight my thighs , *kitten* and boobs just get unproportionally large. My BMI is 24. It says my weight range should be 115-155. My goal weight is 135-140.

Nothing that is unreasonable.

My family keeps making rude comments. My mom keeps commenting on my collarbone. My dad the other night said that my forearms are just so tiny, you don't need to lose anymore weight. Did he not see my size 12 rear end in the chair as well?

My brother keeps saying I am getting too skinny look at my arms its gross. I have the same arms that are in my user pic...

I am 6 lbs from being 'overweight' again. And they keep nagging at me.

My dad weights 160 lbs and he's 6'1. He hasn't gained any weight since 1970, jerk eats ice cream every night . My brother is 246 lbs and 6'4, he is just a big dude. And my mother is well, that plump mummy size.

My brother has been on record for years as liking bigger girls, he would take Kelly Clarkson over Keira Knightly anyday. So his comments I think are just biased. My mum...is struggling with her weight and its giving her knee problems. And I wonder sometimes if there isn't a hint of jealousy because we started losing weight together and I have kept mine off. I try to get her to go walk with me, just light 30 minute jaunts. To not make the damn brownies, cookies, cake, caramel popcorn or whatever has taken her fancy.

I am just tired of it. I am healthy, I have made huge healthy choices in my life and that is why the weight is coming off. I am exercising, not even hard core just moving more! I have cut out all sodas. No diet Dr. Pepper anymore, and to be honest I probably lost 10 lbs in water weight I had been drinking so much. Only water now. And incorporating more veggies into my meals, less processed foods. Being a big girl about my body.

I want them to support me being healthy. They aren't listening when I try to tell them those comments are unhelpful and that my weight is perfectly healthy. How do I knock some sense into these people?

Replies

  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry your family isn't being very supportive of your goals. Unfortunately, I don't have advice on how to change THEM. However, you are HERE and there are gobs of people that would love to be supportive! Feel free to add me as a friend. We all can do this together...supportive families or not!
  • nmerley
    nmerley Posts: 98 Member
    Options
    When u figure it out please tell me. Somedays I get so overwhelmed with it I just wanna throw in the towel but then I tell myself I am doin it for me noone else. I have told a few people if u dont like what I am doin to improve myself and my health then dont watch and I sure as hell dont need your comments. I know its rude but I gotta stay strong or I will cave. I am much happier with myself now so I guess my happiness is more important then theres. I refuse to quit just to make someone else happy.
  • pvaness17
    pvaness17 Posts: 17
    Options
    Send them your message above. Tell them the same thing. If not, do it for you and put their comments and opinions behind you.
  • BretsMyMotivationFor125
    BretsMyMotivationFor125 Posts: 50
    Options
    Well, if it were me, I would flat out tell them that this is the way that it's going to be. You are not underweight, and you are simply trying to avoid becoming overweight. You look pretty healthy to me. If they can't just go along with it, then that is there problem. (I would say that.) Also, tell them if they don't have anything nice to say about it, then they should just keep their mouth shut. I have very straightforward with my family. So this is just me.
  • dragonbug300
    dragonbug300 Posts: 760 Member
    Options
    Unsupportive families can really be a downer, eh?
    My father insists that I GAIN some weight.
    My mother fears that I'll lose weight.
    Like you, my wrists are tiny. I used to be able to lift weights, and recently have had access to dumbbells again which has been helpful. I would highly recommend heavy weight lifting and practicing pushups to make your arms, wrists, and chest look more proportional (it's helped me a lot).
    Basically my greatest hope is to get back to college, get all unhealthy foods out of my sight, and start exercising like a demon every day until I reach my goal weight, then avoid my household at all costs. It's not a happy idea, but leaving an unsupportive environment is the biggest benefit to me.
  • Cam_
    Cam_ Posts: 515 Member
    Options
    Over time, they will get used to you and then it will get old and they will talk about something else. I wouldn't worry about it or pay much attention to it. You can't knock sense into people. Just stick with your beleifs. Give them a "yeah, yeah, whatever" and change the subject.
  • Sugs94
    Sugs94 Posts: 375 Member
    Options
    I don't know the answer...wish I did. But this journey is for you...and if they refuse to join you on it....you have support here for your journey. I have struggled with a father who is great in so many respects...but is very critical of weight in people. I luckily didn't have a weight problem until I was in my 30's or I would probably be anorexic with his comments on "boy, you are gaining" or "do you really think you should have a piece of that cake " on my birthday no less. I flat out confronted him...my skinny sister did the same when he made some remarks to her daughter who is a bit on the larger size. My mother has also given him grief...and to be fair...he has stopped many of the comments and when I have victories...has complemented me on them. I don't know if you had a heart to heart with them and told them how much it hurts if it would help???? Good luck and keep a stiff upper lip. And furthermore...don't sabotoge yourself because of them!!!!!
  • junipuni
    junipuni Posts: 264 Member
    Options
    Honestly, I would just avoid conversations related to your weight loss/healthy lifestyle. If they bring it up or make comments I would just try not to get into it. Maybe you could say, "I feel a lot better than I did," or "I'm not really doing this for anybody but myself so I would appreciate if you keep the negative comments to yourself." Try to focus on how much better you feel and not how you look and maybe they will just shut up.

    I am guessing they are a bit jealous and what can you say that is negative to someone that is losing weight? (I mean besides that you can't tell, lol.) "You are losing TOO much weight." People are so weird. Ignore them as much as you can and keep on doing what you're doing. :)
  • lovejoydavid
    lovejoydavid Posts: 395 Member
    Options
    Tell the honest truth: "Yes, I know I am already gorgeous, but I am choosing to live healthier for other reasons completely."
  • Cadenpet
    Cadenpet Posts: 79
    Options
    Just wanted to thank everyone for the great comments and advice. They just really got to me last night . You guys really helped. I spoke with my mom this morning and she seems to not even have realized what they were doing.

    I'm sure it wont be the last of the issue from them. But as long as I feel healthy and I know I'm doing it right I am going to ignore them. I have enough going on without their negative mojo. So thank all of you.

Categories