Anyone try to lose weight in secret?

I think weight loss can be done either way - and only you know how best to approach it and how you will be successful. I've done it both ways depending on outside circumstances. The only thing I would tell you to be cautious about is that if you hide it, be prepared not to hear people talk about it to you either. If you aren't sharing, then people may not notice (or not comment) when you've lost what you would consider to be a 'noticeable amount.' As long as that won't be discouraging to you, then go for it.

I only talk about it to my fiance, who is also losing weight and getting fitter. There's something so freeing about keeping it to yourself. You don't get dragged into those conversations with 'weight loss experts' at the office. You just get the occasional "Hey, you look slimmer!" to which you can respond with a simple thank you. Makes life easier.

Me!

I'm living overseas with my partner and no friends. He knows about it and that's it! Everyone else will notice when we get back I guess but it's so liberating to do something as and how you want it, without anyone else looking in.

I feel you on doing it in "secret" a lot of my friends have started classes again so I'm taking this next five months to lose weight. I definitely feel there is less pressure when you don't tell people. But again there's always people telling me I need to lose weight so then again I do feel the heat

tmoneyag99 wrote: »

so I'm thinking of a new tactic, not telling anyone that I'm trying to lose weight. Not talking about it. Not responding to questions about looking like I've lost weight with anything other than a "Thanks" That way when I back slide I don't have to feel ashamed. No one knows if I am back sliding because no one knows I'm dieting. They just know that I'm fat and eating like a fat person.


Anyone else tried this approach?

That's what I've always just naturally done. That I'm trying to lose weight seems like a private thing to me. I don't see any reason to discuss it with others, and it's given me more space to try things without feeling like others are putting their opinions or expectations on it.

I talked about my weight loss to a select group of people last year, but rarely talk to anyone about it this year. In general, I don't like it to be the main topic of conversation, so I don't bring it up. At the beginning, some tried to be my "food police", and that taught me to be careful who to tell.

Honestly, I think this is the best approach because IMO this journey is for you and you only. Others may offer support, but in the end it's entirely up to you whether you succeed or not. I started a cut and I'm telling no one. Not even my husband! He's the 'bro' type so if I fit in a slice of pizza in my day he assumes that I'm either not taking it seriously or that I'm slacking. Of course he's still incredibly supportive in what I do but I'd rather have no one know... not so much to avoid criticism or judgment if I quit but to prove to MYSELF that I can do this. I don't care about proving anything to anyone else. Hope that makes sense!

I don't think it's a bad idea. In the past I would get frustrated and cared too much about what other people thought. I would lose weight-a significant amount of weight-and people would still try to tell me what I should do. I went from a size 22 at my heaviest to a size 2 and even then I was told that my goal should be a size zero-and this was implied by not just one person. I wasn't even happy at a size two. I would have felt better/stronger/healthier with a few more pounds. I wanted to build muscle, but I started cutting calories too drastically because I was chasing a number on a scale and/or a size because I had such low self esteem. Then I just rebelled and went a bit too far the other way.
I wish I hadn't told anyone that I was trying/am losing weight this time. I don't like being asked what I am eating or about whether I worked out or if I worked out hard enough and I don't like being told what I need to do when I haven't asked for their advice and when what I am doing is working well for me and I am just fine with what I am doing. I just have to tune out the noise this time.

I am.

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tmoneyag99 wrote: »

so I'm thinking of a new tactic, not telling anyone that I'm trying to lose weight. Not talking about it. Not responding to questions about looking like I've lost weight with anything other than a "Thanks"

Anyone else tried this approach?

Yes. I lost 40 pounds last year using MFP and have maintained for almost a year. I only told one person. That spared me from "advice" I didn't want to hear and the "you don't need to lose any more weight" when I was still obese.

When people comment on my weight loss now, I say yes, I lost weight to be healthier, but that's it. If they ask how, I refer them to MFP and say I watch my calories and exercise every day.

My changes included cutting out some foods because I have medical problems and want to control them without medicine. Social occasions can be tricky. I appreciate the hospitality. but I'm just not going to eat those foods anymore. I'm still learning how to say no in a simple, friendly way without telling a big story. Putting myself first for a change is the toughest thing.

That's what I did. I was probably unnecessarily secretive about it to the point where when people noticed my habits change (drinking water instead of soda, etc.) I'd try to deflect. But you know... being secretive worked for me. There was no pressure. I didn't have to worry about people not believing I could do it. I didn't have to deal with anyone offering unwanted opinions on things I should or shouldn't eat or how much I should exercise. I didn't tell anyone anything and outright tried to hide the fact that trying to lose weight was the reason I was eating healthier, drinking more water, etc. When I actually started looking thinner, I stopped hiding it and started being honest when people asked.

It's a tough call. If accountability helps you and you have supoortive people around you, then sure, shout it from the rooftops. But do whatever is going to work for you. There are a lot of people who can sometimes be touchy about weightloss and sometimes get defensive when they see other people making changes and sometimes that defensiveness comes out as really insensitive comments. So I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with being secretive about it. It's nobody's business but yours.

MommaGem2017 wrote: »

My husband and mother know (because a change in how I cook or eat would be obvious), but other than that - I haven't told anyone. The only person I need to be accountable to is me. Best wishes!

ETA: I'm not really keeping it a secret. It's just not a topic I bring up with others.

This for me too. My mum is my number one restaurant buddy so she's seen me noting down what I eat to check it later, and not telling the boyfriend would be silly as he's the one who gets to hear my not-so-ladylike remarks when I can't figure out what listing to use for that thing we just ate, or when the only listing for a certain kind of bread (sold unsliced) is "1 slice"

I'm losing less than 1lb a week and have only been going for around 6 weeks, so it's too soon for anyone to have noticed or commented. I won't discuss it with anyone else until such time as they do - because I (probably correctly) assume that they're not especially interested in my eating habits.