But I Didn't

sweetsknit3
sweetsknit3 Posts: 9 Member
edited November 20 in Motivation and Support
I do this to myself all the time. There will be donuts outside my office, leftover pizza in the kitchen area, an entire drawer full of chocolates right behind my desk that I'm responsible for keeping stocked. I look at it. I think about eating it.

I then spend the entire afternoon berating myself about it. "How could you do that? Do you know how many calories are in that? Don't you miss your old pants? What is WRONG with you? You're awful at this."

But here's the thing. I didn't eat the donut or the pizza or touch the chocolate drawer. I didn't eat whatever it is I'm yelling at myself about.

I also dream, a lot, about eating something ridiculous - like an entire pie, without utensils. Just digging into it with my hands. Someone I know usually catches me at it, and I wake up crying about it, upset that I've ruined this for myself again.

Anyone else?

Replies

  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    It sounds like you don't have a very healthy relationship with food or with yourself. Have you completely banned these foods? I know there are a few I am still not good at controlling portions with, but I find that if I say I can't have it at all then I'm going to feel horrible about my desire to have them. Tell yourself it's okay to want them and fit them into your calories from time to time. I've told myself I won't eat office donuts or pizza because usually they're not very good and that's a waste of calories, but I make sure to plan for pizza and donuts that I really do like.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    I have pizza every week. I have chocolate once or twice a week. I just fit them into my goals.
  • sweetsknit3
    sweetsknit3 Posts: 9 Member
    I haven't banned any foods, and I did lose 65 pounds before I got pregnant with my third baby. Now I'm trying to lose 30 to get back where I was, but this was a thing each time.

    I just listed those foods because they are around all the time.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    Maybe you can go talk to a professional about why you are so hard on yourself? It's not normal to be mad at yourself when you didn't even eat it. I've had dreams where I pigged out at a buffet during competition prep. I woke up a little scared that I actually did it, but that passed quickly. Even if I had eaten significantly more than I should have it isn't the end of the world and wouldn't have ruined competition prep.
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,868 Member
    I ate a piece of chocolate the other day at work, and congratulated myself for only eating one! You need to cut yourself some slack. It's a tough thing to say "no" to yourself so good for you.
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