I feel out of control with food

Start TODAY. Doesn't matter what you've eaten already, log it. You can easily shift that 15lb before Christmas, but you must be honest with yourself about what you are eating, and weigh and log everything (no finishing the kids' dinner so as "not to waste it" unless you log that half fish finger and three potatoes!). With two young children, although it might be difficult to get to an exercise class there is lots of activity you can do with them, racing round the park or going for a nice walk - if they're still young enough for a buggy even better as you can walk as far as you like without worrying about tired little legs! You can also put on a nice lively exercise dvd or Youtube video and get them to "dance with mummy" (zumba is brilliant for that - my younger son used to do Wii zumba with me).
You know where you went wrong diet-wise, bingeing is never good. But don't go down a faddy route or talk about "mummy is on a diet", your children learn from you so you just need to be a bit "mummy is having a delicious apple because its crunchy and sweet" rather than "mummy would love a doughnut but its too fattening".
You can do this, but as you know yourself its only you who can actually do it! Feel free to add me as a friend if you think I can help.

Hannah, I feel like I want to give you a hug. Please give yourself one, instead. One of the most useful things I’ve ever done to help myself in regard to food addiction is read Geneen Roth. She’s an author who writes about intuitive eating and does so in a very clear, comprehensive and accessible way. The two books of hers that I’ve read (well, actually I listened to them on audiobook… which personally, I found enormously helpful, because she narrates them herself and communicates her ideas very well) are: ‘Women, Food and God’ (don’t be put off by the word ‘God’ in the title if you’re non-religious… the book is for everyone who suffers with compulsive eating issues, regardless), followed by ‘When Food is Food and Love is Love’ (which I think is only available in audiobook format and is a practical guide to implementing the strategies she discusses in the earlier book).

I can’t claim that these two books on their own were enough for me to magically end my messed-up relationship with food. To do that, I had to process Geneen Roth’s ideas, subtract the parts of her advice that I knew wouldn’t work for me, and add in other concepts and techniques that would work… in other words, I had to find my own path. Personally, I don’t think any two paths out of addiction are exactly the same and what works perfectly for one person might need adjusting for someone else. So you have to be patient and not beat yourself up if, having learned the concepts, you don’t instantly fall into a new pattern of behaviour. It takes time and adjustment. But these books helped me enormously and I hope they help you, too.

Also, remember this… you are not alone. It’s true what you say, no one can help you – as in, no one can do the work for you, you have to do it yourself. But be comforted by the knowledge that you are not doing the work alone… there are literally millions of people out there just like you, who also struggle sometimes and are tripping up sometimes and starting again and having days when they feel disheartened as well as days when everything’s in the zone. Anyone who is struggling with an eating compulsion/fear of food is part of a huge community and we are all in this together, even when we feel alone. Big love to you.