Doing it for all the wrong reasons

barsukas
barsukas Posts: 5 Member
in Motivation and Support
And I don't know how to change it. My relationship ended couple months ago and my heart is broken. I felt and still feeling so lost, huge part of my life is missing. I decided to fill it in with getting a revenge body. I've gained over 25 lbs over the course of two-year relationship. Now every time when sweating on a treadmil or making a healthy meal I'm thinking about him and how I want to make him regret dumping me next time he sees me. And I do realise this is so unhealthy. I just want to move on but as long as I'll have this idea of "revenge body" I won't start my healing. But I just can't get fit and healthy for myself. I feel miserable. I feel worthless. I don't even want to do it for myself. I know some of you guys went through something similar. Did it get better? Will time help?

Replies

  • MichelleWithMoxie
    MichelleWithMoxie Posts: 1,817 Member
    Yes, it gets better. Time absolutely helps. Your goals and drive will shift over time too.
  • Unknown
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  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
    edited August 2017
    Time always help! It's incredible what time can make to a broken heart!
    IMO, it really doesn't matter why are you doing it, if that is your way to handle the loss in the moment - it's actually a great one and a great, healthy survival instinct.
    From all things you can turn to, like alcohol, pills, drugs...you decided to cope with a getting fit.
    Many people do that and down the road they meat new exciting people, and after a while you almost forget what was your first trigger.
    Just continue doing it, your reasons will find you <3
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,973 Member
    Time heals wounds. Realize that there are over 4 billion people on the planet and you had a relationship with one. The old saying "there are other fish in the sea" is so true.
    At 20, I thought my love life was over after losing the girl I pursued for 2 years before actually being with her.
    I got married a 35 and can tell you that had that not happened, I would probably never met my lovely wife, now going on to almost 20 years married.
    Just advice: The MAJORITY of my clients are female and half of them are divorced, separated, or moving on from a relationship and ALL are getting fit because they are ready to date again. It's NOT uncommon to try to get in your best shape when you putting yourself out there again.
    Hate to say it, but many times relationships reduce how people take care of themselves physically.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • barsukas
    barsukas Posts: 5 Member
    Thank you guys. It means a lot to me to read this. I truly thought it's a self-destructive behavior. I get so mad at myself for putting so much energy in thinking about him when he didn't care in the first place and definitely doesn't give a damn now

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