40 to lose so I begin.....

Hey there! I started at 184 and am now at 141. One of the big things that helped me out is I wrote out why I wanted to get healthy. It wasn't just "be hot" or "finally fit into my jeans without a muffin top", but a little deeper stuff, like "I'm tired of not being able to walk up the stairs without being out of breath" and "I hate walking down the street in downtown Boulder because I don't feel like I fit in due to my weight".
As far as stress and grief go, that's different for everyone. I used to use food as a comfort (that's another big thing to figure out - how do you view food?), so I had to figure out different coping strategies. I really like to run (I never used to), and I feel a lot better after I go out for a mile run, so that helps a lot. I lift weights, so that helps a lot, too.
I don't use a pedometer, so I can't help there.
Good luck to you!

Making small sustainable changes has been what has worked for me, it's great going all gung ho, but the initial enthusiasm can wear off and then you can end up going back to square one.

Some recommendations:

• Focus on your food more than exercise for weight loss, exercise is great for health but weight loss happens in the kitchen not the gym.
• Don't assume that 2lb per week is a suitable rate of loss, it's not ideal for everyone, you should pick a rate that is sustainable for the duration of your weight loss.
• Get a food scale, it is by far the most accurate way to track your calorie intake.
• Use your food scale and MFP to log a couple of days of your normal eating, use this to see where you are taking in extra calories and if there is anywhere you need to make a big improvement to your nutrition (particularly getting minimum recommended requirements for Protein and Fat.
• Review the information to see what small changes you can make - this might be portion sizes of calorie dense foods, switching some food types to lower calorie versions or substituting foods that you have trouble controlling. Make changes gradually over a week or so that you can live with long-term that will get you down to the calorie allowance you have set yourself to.

With regards to exercise find something you enjoy doing, if you stick to your calorie deficit you will lose weight regardless of doing the exercise.

With stress and grief, if you are currently using food to self-medicate in those situations you need to consider finding another outlet for those feelings instead of turning to the fridge, depending on the level of stress this could be something as simple as finding a new hobby or healthier habit or if it's particularly intense seeking professional help such as counselling/CBT. Exercise itself can be a great way to relieve general day-to-day stress.