Should you force kids to be active?

My daughter is 8 and a big gamer. My husband is the stay at home dad for now, and he's not big on the outdoors. She's a thin kid, but she was NOT getting what I felt was nearly adequate exercise/activity. When I started going on walks more often, I'd bring her with me. When she'd complain about being tired after only a short time walking, I'd tell her that is exactly why she is going to start walking with me more often as it's a bad sign for her health if she gets tired so easily. Guess who has become my walking partner? She must enjoy it because she will brag about being "mama's walking partner" sometimes. She loves it even more if we go along a trail with raspberries, blueberries, etc. Eating fresh picked berries makes it a survival adventure apparently, lol. We're going to hike and picnic at the falls this weekend.

I've found that me changing my diet and activity level has benefited my whole family so far. My husband has lost the weight he wanted to simply because I refuse to buy as much junk food or eat out as often, and he's eating salad more often as he likes how I make them (he lost weight with so much less effort that I'm envious). And my daughter is far more active.

I wish my parents had forced organized sports on me as early as possible! My older brother has never been athletically inclined, so he hated being tricked into tee ball as a wee one. I wanted to play on the (quite expensive) weekend soccer team "allll my friends" were on, but my parents were hesitant to sign me up and have it be an abysmal failure because I'd missed 3 years of practice and I'd hate playing in the bone-chilling fall rain. Years of conflict ensued over my lingering desire to play on this specific team, and I got involved with every free school-sanctioned team my elementary school offered, but they finally instead registered me for field hockey in 6th grade and it really enhanced my life. I stayed in the league for 7 years and it was a wonderful community. It also helped me feel connected to my parents and proud that my dad didn't miss a single game on his weekends off. For me, organized team sports helped build a sense of accountability, sisterhood, and self-discipline. It was also part of what I understand now as self-care and shaped how I maintain my sanity through scheduled physical activity as an adult.

I think if you include your children in the conversation about what physical activities they might like, it not only helps ensure they will stick with an activity at least for the season you've paid for, but also strengthens lines of communication for them to feel safe/respected enough to say when something isn't working for them. I'm in my mid-twenties now (working as a therapist lol), and have a wonderful relationship with my parents. That being said, we really did not have good family communication skills and there was a lot of unnecessary conflict because we're ostrich people that bury our heads in the sand or jump to anger instead of exploring why our feelings got hurt.

TL:DR enjoying physical activity is a lifestyle you can model as a parent, but can be enhanced for your child through organized team sports that incorporate exercise with social activity. Finding your child's niche should be a collaborative effort and involve ongoing assessment from the financier and the participant.

I think there's a lot to be said for parents who at least expose their children to activities enough that the kids start to feel confident and comfortable doing physical stuff.

I was overweight from a very young age and obese from teens onward, but I always had fun in gym class (crazy I know especially for a chubby bookworm of a girl!). I never played organized sports and had no interest, and I think my parents knew that I wasn't gonna go that route. But I was taken bowling, on bike rides, threw a ball around with my dad, had a basketball goal in the driveway...some of that rubbed off on me and made me a smidge more "athletic" (loosely using that term) than I would have been otherwise. When I asked to go swimming, they made every effort to help me spend as much time as possible in a pool whether the above ground cheapie one we had at home or the city pool.

My husband's a lot more active than me now (daily runner and loads of other stuff) but he had a way different start...he was a chubby, bookish kid too, but his parents didn't expose him to anything active and he was always picked last, hated gym, totally uncoordinated even to this day with anything involving a ball or racket. They just sort of acted like "ok you're a smart kid, you like to stay inside and read and play video games" and that was that. He didn't even learn to swim (ever), didn't ride a bicycle until adulthood and now he refurbishes antique bikes and helps other people with theirs. But it was a long road for him!

One of mine loves playing outside and is very active but is also OBSESSED with electronics and would sit on them for the rest of his life if we let him. So yes, we do limit him and send him outside and force him to do other stuff

I don't think of it as forcing anything. It's structuring our kids' lives so they can thrive, giving them as much choice as possible in the process.

My daughter wanted to quit soccer so I said, fine, but you have to play a sport or have some structured physical activity. She was too lazy to try something new so she stuck with soccer.

My parents let me quit sports in high school and I wish they hadn't. They didn't know how to help me make good choices or add any structure at all and those years were a struggle.