Beautiful Behaviors -- August 2017

aleahurst wrote: »

Oh my. I woke up in the night. Sick, nauseated, and hungry! Geesh. So I fixed a quick bland pancake (heaping half cup spelt flour, pinch baking soda, tablespoon of dry milk, egg, water). Then poured coconut oil into the pan. What was I thinking? I was estimating a tablespoon of oil, but it was closer to 3. Well. The high fat pancake and ibuprofen put me back to sleep for a good long time. There goes a third of my day's calories!

And I'm hungry again.

My beautiful behavior for the day will be finding a set of measuring spoons that appeal to me emotionally. Something lovely, or something that tugs my heart strings. Something that says oh look! You can feel good by having pretty things to look at. Maybe a wooden set because I like wood.

Yeah.

Love to all.

Lea

katadx wrote: »

I had a wake up call today.

I had my doctors appointment about by disordered eating and yearly physical. She diagnosed me with a GED (lol no not a high school diploma - I've already got one of those!) but a Generalized eating disorder. I do not starve myself; I am just preoccupied with food and my body. I admitted to her that I have dropped the ball on calories this summer. I have been under goal (2000 min) nearly every day, not usually intentionally. I have dropped weight I definitely should not have. My body is composed as it is and no amount of weight loss will change how I personally feel about my thighs or stomach. She is okay with the calorie counting - without it I may have eaten even less a lot of these days. MFP has helped me conquer a lot of problems, and it will continue to be an important part of my healthy lifestyle. I got a referral to speak to a therapist about my GED. I am relieved and happy to finally have a concrete plan for the future of this issue. Someone to talk to besides family about it. My parents do not have similar food preoccupations and do not understand how this feels for me. They are caring and helpful but I am ecstatic to have a professional to discuss things with.

As we wrapped up the appointment, she asked me to go down to the lab to have a quick blood draw done to rule out low blood sugar. No biggie, I thought. It's just two small vials so I can handle it! (I hadn't eaten anything so far so she was glad we could get an accurate blood sugar that day). The actual draw went well. The nurse was magic with the needle, I barely felt it! As I left, I had a ringing in my ears, and suddenly everything was muffled. I quickly grabbed a chair in the waiting room and sat down. I lost conciousness (after managing one bite of my breakfast I packed) in the chair and felt like my head was spinning. No one had noticed me and must've thought I was sleeping. I went in and out for about a half an hour. Went I was finally a little better, I ate the rest of my PB + J and texted my mom to tell her what happened so she could read it on her lunch break. I was going to attempt to drive to my one grandparents house since it was closer than mine and I could lay down. (they always have the door unlocked in back and I was going to let out their dog anyway) I made it to the bathroom to splash water on my face and walked to my car. I was sitting behind the wheel and didn't feel 'right'. I called my other grandparents who lived nearby as well. My grandpa came in a snap and picked me up. He got me some orange juice and a cookie to get my blood sugar up and help me come to completely. We relaxed and chatted for a few hours and had some lunch. He really saved me today. I'm not sure what could've happened if I tried to drive. By 2 o clock I was good to go and did my grocery shopping. It was an altered trip though! I picked up more nutrient dense foods that I normally don't get for fear of going over my calories. I got fairlife chocolate milk, granola, nuts, etc. to go with my other groceries.

I realized I need to take this seriously. If I wasn't underweight this might not have happened. I could have hit my head or worse if I had driven. The Lord really shook me today, and I needed this reminder to care for myself by eating enough even when it's mentally hard. My results for my blood test all came back normal, and I give thanks for that! I need to keep them that way!

Blessings on everyone's weekend!