What do you do?
RandJ6280
Posts: 1,161 Member
I was at the beach this past weekend, and I made an observation. Some people are "comfortable" in their skin... maybe some shouldn't be.
I personally feel embarrassed in my swimsuit as I'm not happy with the way I look. Some people at the beach, in my opinion should cover up a bit more.
I have also noticed that at home... I'm dressing in baggy clothes... again, because I'm not happy with the way I look.
UNTIL NOW!!! I have noticed that when I dress like I have been... my mental attitude is down... self image is down... My mind is turning around to the positive side. I'm dressing better (still not happy, but I'm moving in the right direction) and my mindset is improving. Looking forward to dropping a belt size... to wearing a small size jean...
Those of you out there trying to lose weight... how are you dressing? In old baggy clothes? Or dressing to impress?
Positive mindset = positive results.
I personally feel embarrassed in my swimsuit as I'm not happy with the way I look. Some people at the beach, in my opinion should cover up a bit more.
I have also noticed that at home... I'm dressing in baggy clothes... again, because I'm not happy with the way I look.
UNTIL NOW!!! I have noticed that when I dress like I have been... my mental attitude is down... self image is down... My mind is turning around to the positive side. I'm dressing better (still not happy, but I'm moving in the right direction) and my mindset is improving. Looking forward to dropping a belt size... to wearing a small size jean...
Those of you out there trying to lose weight... how are you dressing? In old baggy clothes? Or dressing to impress?
Positive mindset = positive results.
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Replies
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The only person I "dress to impress" is myself. I wear what looks good for my body shape, what's appropriate for the situation and what makes ME feel good.
Questioning the confidence of others isn't a good thing, if you ask me. Saying some people should cover up at the beach is your opinion, but it's probably not going to be received well.
But, good for you for working on your OWN self-confidence. That's all you can do. Focus on improving your health.4 -
Wow, how awful of you sitting there judging them.
They can wear what ever they like.8 -
I dress in what I'm comfortable in, admittedly I'm pretty comfortable on the beach in a bikini and shorts. I do notice other people but whilst I can't deny I see how slim or not they are I notice more how some look very uncomfortable and cover up vs those who don't really care and just have a good time. I think the reason I feel more comfortable at the beach is because so many people do feel self conscious and uncomfortable and it just reminds me that we're all human and no one is perfect- even that person with the perfect 'bikini body' probably has things about their body they want to change. So most people aren't really focusing on or caring about your body hangups, you're just another person on the beach. Above all what I notice is beautiful on the beach are the people walking around or playing games with confidence and smiles, and as cheesy as it sounds they're the ones that look best3
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RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »Wow, how awful of you sitting there judging them.
They can wear what ever they like.
I don't judge them, but leave that to my wife and her friends who are usually pretty brutal. I agree with you that they can wear what they like, but I do feel sometimes they maybe shouldn't. Then again, I'm an old man in my 40's and I understand that the 'culture' of body imagery has changed a great deal from when I was younger.2 -
I_am_the_Cosmos wrote: »RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »Wow, how awful of you sitting there judging them.
They can wear what ever they like.
I don't judge them, but leave that to my wife and her friends who are usually pretty brutal. I agree with you that they can wear what they like, but I do feel sometimes they maybe shouldn't. Then again, I'm an old man in my 40's and I understand that the 'culture' of body imagery has changed a great deal from when I was younger.
You are judging and if your wife is worse I can't even imagine. People can wear whatever they want. You do not get to dictate that Nothing says you have to like it but to be so distracted that you are sitting there judging them instead of enjoying yourself is pretty sad. Go have fun. As someone also over 40, I've gone the exact opposite direction as you. I am at the live and let live point.
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hopefully you will get old with your wife!
a hell of wrinkels everywhere while loosing hair and growing hair at places you'll never figure out now!
just a guess: that one of you both, that is able to keep the "young" look longer, will break up...
good luck, and take care of your skin
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I_am_the_Cosmos wrote: »RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »Wow, how awful of you sitting there judging them.
They can wear what ever they like.
I don't judge them, but leave that to my wife and her friends who are usually pretty brutal. I agree with you that they can wear what they like, but I do feel sometimes they maybe shouldn't. Then again, I'm an old man in my 40's and I understand that the 'culture' of body imagery has changed a great deal from when I was younger.
It's not because you're in your 40s, I am also in my 40s.
It's just that you aren't very nice.
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RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »I_am_the_Cosmos wrote: »RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »Wow, how awful of you sitting there judging them.
They can wear what ever they like.
I don't judge them, but leave that to my wife and her friends who are usually pretty brutal. I agree with you that they can wear what they like, but I do feel sometimes they maybe shouldn't. Then again, I'm an old man in my 40's and I understand that the 'culture' of body imagery has changed a great deal from when I was younger.
It's not because you're in your 40s, I am also in my 40s.
It's just that you aren't very nice.
So, because I feel maybe someone shouldn't wear something inappropriate, but keep said thought to myself and refrain from commenting I'm not very nice? Thanks, thought police!
And I can't attest to where you came from or what era you apparently grew up in, but if you have memories of people dressing very inappropriately back in the 70's and 80's I'd like to hear it. Pretty sure the evolution of body imagery began a LOT more recently, which is why I kind of stated that my point of view maybe a dated one. I don't in any sense claim that I am right, just that it is a learned behavior from a different time. As opposed to simply assuming and attacking a message, you could have just said "Well, times have evolved and we should look at these people as being happy with their image". I would have agreed. The only point you are right on is my wife and her friends should probably be a little bit less pointed.
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wow.... not what I was expecting when I posted this.
Maybe I am judging them..... but I think there should be a little more pride in their body. This isn't just geared for the overweight, but it's just as bas as some of the "skinny" people out there.... who will wear little to nothing on the beach. I was there with my grandkids, and they don't need to see a woman whose boobs are spilling out of her top and half of her *kitten* cheeks out of here bikini bottoms. I just think there should be a little of class, or dignity in society.2 -
I weighed 285 lbs. Dressed like an unmade bed.
For losing the first 25 lbs, I rewarded myself with a new suit. Game changer.
I soon met Harry the tailor who made me the best dressed guy in my office. Clothes that fit can make a big difference. Taking pride in your appearance is an attitude. You can start any time.7 -
I think we should accept people as they are and understand that someone who is overweight might want to wear a bikini too. There is grace and dignity in learning to accept differences.6
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I prefer to wear clothes that are both more modest and make me feel good. They're not typically baggy. But they do tend to cover more. One of my favorite style icons is Kate Middleton. I think wearing clothes that make you feel good, regardless of body type, will show your confidence the best.3
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I wear the baggy clothes I have because I can't justify the expense of replacing them when money is so tight.4
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I weighed 285 lbs. Dressed like an unmade bed.
For losing the first 25 lbs, I rewarded myself with a new suit. Game changer.
I soon met Harry the tailor who made me the best dressed guy in my office. Clothes that fit can make a big difference. Taking pride in your appearance is an attitude. You can start any time.
I agree. Glad you are moving up in the best dressed in the office. I know I have certain clothes that I wear make me feel taller, stronger (physically and emotionally).0 -
wow.... not what I was expecting when I posted this.
Maybe I am judging them..... but I think there should be a little more pride in their body. This isn't just geared for the overweight, but it's just as bas as some of the "skinny" people out there.... who will wear little to nothing on the beach. I was there with my grandkids, and they don't need to see a woman whose boobs are spilling out of her top and half of her *kitten* cheeks out of here bikini bottoms. I just think there should be a little of class, or dignity in society.
Ah, per the bold, now I see why it bothered you. However, you cannot shield kids from everything and if you were bothered by the lack of clothing then your option is to take them to a not so public place. People on the beach are free to dress as they wish. If you are concerned with what your grandkids see, then you have to take them to a kid-friendly (appropriate) place only.0 -
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Since I'm in between sizes I focus on other things besides clothes. I started wearing perfume more often and my grandmother's earrings every day. Maybe a pin or a necklace. Little things to make me feel pretty and feminine until I fit into those size 8 jeans and stay there.1
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Its down to confidence and feeling happy in your skin. I dress baggy when bigger and gradually buy more fitted clothes as lose weight but that's because I'm very self conscious and want to hide bulges rather than draw attention to. Nearly there.....0
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I was never into clothes much as a teen. It took me until my later 20s to really figure out what styles are most flattering on my body type. Since I have done that and put a little more effort into my wardrobe I have found that it has helped boost my confidence a little more, and I think other people pick up on that too. I think wardrobe can be a powerful tool in helping you be your best. You gotta get past the uncomefortable baggy look and figure out what flatters you. Figuring that out now may still apply as your size goes down too. Alot of people keep their same shape, its just smaller or bigger at different weights.0
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The more I lose, the more I dress to impress. I would say in a scale of 1 to 10, my vanity level used to be at a 5, now I'm at a good 8 or 9.2
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GemstoneofHeart wrote: »The more I lose, the more I dress to impress. I would say in a scale of 1 to 10, my vanity level used to be at a 5, now I'm at a good 8 or 9.
I understand. Even last week I was feeling a 3 or 4... just this week... eating better, increasing water... working out.... I'm feeling up to a 7... who knows what next week will hold. I feel better, I'll look better and exude that feeling to others around me. Positive mindset.0 -
I'm just a student so I can't really afford new clothes. Luckily, I'm still in charted territory as far as my weight, so I do have some old shorts and t-shirts stowed away that used to be too small that I can wear now. After that though, I'm hoping I can find some stuff back at home to fit me, because I'm actually shocked how miserable I am as far as my closet goes right now. You'd think I'd be a bundle of joy to have this problem, it's actually really frustrating me. I barely wore the size 24 jeans I bought after my 26s got to the point I had to pull them up over my hips every ten steps and I'm just about a 22 now.
My old button-up shirts are a godsend though. Too big now to wear alone, but they look great worn open with a fitted tank underneath and it gives me like 10 additional outfit options.0 -
RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »Wow, how awful of you sitting there judging them.
They can wear what ever they like.
This.
I see people who are confident at the beach/pool at any size and wish I could be. I always cover up unless I'm getting in and out of water. I have low self confidence due to my weight. I still wear the same as I did before starting to lose weight since I've only lost 7 lbs so far and it takes a good 25-30 lbs lost in order to see a noticeable difference in how my clothing fits.1 -
wow.... not what I was expecting when I posted this.
Maybe I am judging them..... but I think there should be a little more pride in their body. This isn't just geared for the overweight, but it's just as bas as some of the "skinny" people out there.... who will wear little to nothing on the beach. I was there with my grandkids, and they don't need to see a woman whose boobs are spilling out of her top and half of her *kitten* cheeks out of here bikini bottoms. I just think there should be a little of class, or dignity in society.
Your post is contradicting itself. You say they "should have pride in their body", but at the same time say they need to cover up. Just because someone is in a bathing suit enjoying themselves at the beach doesn't mean they aren't trying to get healthy. How many times do we tell people who are on their weight loss journey to "just enjoy your vacation and get back on it when you get back"...sheesh.3 -
Interesting post as just this morning I'm wearing a new, more "fitted" outfit to work - not to impress anyone but because I've lost 52 lbs since April and by golly I finally can!
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And my confidence level is 200 times better than it was.
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The thing is, if you were to see me now you'd still see a 58 year old woman who needs to lose 75 lbs.
Some may look at me and think gee, she should take more pride in herself and lose some weight.
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You won't see the person who's struggled to gain control of her life.
You don't see the sweaty workouts and the healthy meal planning.
You don't see the person who goes to bed at 9:00 some nights because its sleep or eat.
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EVERYONE has a story.
If this process has taught me anything, it's taught me that.2 -
bikecheryl wrote: »Interesting post as just this morning I'm wearing a new, more "fitted" outfit to work - not to impress anyone but because I've lost 52 lbs since April and by golly I finally can!
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And my confidence level is 200 times better than it was.
.
The thing is, if you were to see me now you'd still see a 58 year old woman who needs to lose 75 lbs.
Some may look at me and think gee, she should take more pride in herself and lose some weight.
.
You won't see the person who's struggled to gain control of her life.
You don't see the sweaty workouts and the healthy meal planning.
You don't see the person who goes to bed at 9:00 some nights because its sleep or eat.
.
EVERYONE has a story.
If this process has taught me anything, it's taught me that.
Good word brother. I think we all need to smile and be nice... for we never know what the other person is going through.0 -
I noticed that when I was judgemental and negative toward my body I was also being judgemental and negative toward others. When I got to a more positive place mentally with myself I noticed I also didn't think about other people negatively or care so much about what they were wearing.
I try not to wear clothes that are too tight or too loose. I'm not trying to impress anyone. I'm not a fashion plate.
Clothes that fit make me feel better. Clothes that are too tight, too loose or have holes or stains make me feel like I am not taking care of myself.0 -
I've lost 65 lbs and I'm still wearing the same clothes I've always worn - just cinch the belt tighter. I guess I'm enjoying my clothes being loose for a change. I also don't want to reward myself when I'm not done losing weight. Not that I don't think I've done a good job, I just don't want to let myself get settled in anywhere short of my goal. My birthday is in 3 weeks maybe I'll splurge and shop a little then.0
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I went to the lake today and wore my bathing suit and did not cover up or wear shorts, etc. Why? Because I wanted to swim and have fun with my kids. I wasn't jazzed about being in a bathing suit in public, but who says a person has to look a certain way in order to enjoy the beach? That's a very subjective slippery slope. And it's stupid. Yes, stupid. If you're going to let being overweight prevent you from enjoying life then you have bigger problems.0
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When I ovulate and the week after, I dress skimpy because I look lean. Every other time I'm all puffed up and try to dress fashionably but I'm more mindful of places to cover.2
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