Was told everyone at work thinks I'm prego
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Do you think she was telling you as a favor, so you'd know what people were saying behind your back? I'm just curious if her motivation was well intended and ruined it with horrible delivery. I'm not trying to protect her, I'm just curious if she did this stuff before being a jerk or if she really wanted to give you a heads up about the gossip. I've heard enough rumors about me from others and I was glad to hear them so I was prepared (and may have said/done things to mess with people's heads). Just one example - I had someone that works for my team tell me outside of work that her boss (who directly reported to me) was gossiping about me during my divorce (making up reasons for it). I'm very private at work so nobody knew any details so I was glad to know what's up.3
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Holy crap! Your SUPERVISOR?!
Wow. Just... wow.
I remember when I was young, my dad totally stuck his foot in his mouth with someone who had recently given birth. He thought she was pregnant again. She played it off well, sparing my dad some more awkwardness than he already felt when he realized his mistake, and I learned early to never, ever, ever comment on anyone's weight or potential pregnancy status until they something first.3 -
It's amazing out work colleagues can justify commenting on another colleagues weight. I am 49kgs and only just hit above 5 foot. I've been working really hard to eat healthy and exercise. I get told by work colleagues that I'm looking too skinny and I need to eat more and by other work colleagues asking if I'm pregnant because I eat every 3-4 hours (small, measured out meals). Most of them who comment are over weight and unhealthy too. It's unfuriating that people think it's okay to comment when they themselves are unhealthy!6
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Why would anyone tell you that? Do you feel comfortable asking them why they told you? People know they're being inappropriate, what they don't count on is being called out.6
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Wow. I hate those kinds of comments. Sorry you work with jerks.1
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In my company gossip is a fireable offense. First time we tell you we mean it. Second time take your sorry rear end somewhere else. We're too busy for that negative junk.9
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Wow that is rude!0
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FatAFNoMore wrote: »Do you think she was telling you as a favor, so you'd know what people were saying behind your back? I'm just curious if her motivation was well intended and ruined it with horrible delivery. I'm not trying to protect her, I'm just curious if she did this stuff before being a jerk or if she really wanted to give you a heads up about the gossip. I've heard enough rumors about me from others and I was glad to hear them so I was prepared (and may have said/done things to mess with people's heads). Just one example - I had someone that works for my team tell me outside of work that her boss (who directly reported to me) was gossiping about me during my divorce (making up reasons for it). I'm very private at work so nobody knew any details so I was glad to know what's up.
Except that she said she was told "everyone thinks your pregnant" not everyone is saying you are. It was still tacky in delivery. She is a supervisor, she can't be that dimwitted to not think something said that way would hurt. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt like you, but this you can see right through.1 -
I swear, one of my colleagues approached me yesterday and said quietly - can I ask you something?. I said - yes. She asked - are you pregnant? I was shocked. I mean seriously.. I'm not even that fat! 150 pounds! Perhaps, on the scale of how slim I was before compare to me now, maybe it might look like this. We have much bigger women in the office! What a horrible question, considering the fact that I have all these history with miscarriages. Never, never, never in a million years, if you see a woman, doesn't matter how big or fat she is, doesn't matter how curious you are, never ask her if she is pregnant. It's just a mined bomb ready to explode. You don't know the history, you don't know nothing. Obviously, it hurt me too.4
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She knew what she was doing, what a *kitten*2
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Nykkismommy21 wrote: »FatAFNoMore wrote: »Do you think she was telling you as a favor, so you'd know what people were saying behind your back? I'm just curious if her motivation was well intended and ruined it with horrible delivery. I'm not trying to protect her, I'm just curious if she did this stuff before being a witch or if she really wanted to give you a heads up about the gossip. I've heard enough rumors about me from others and I was glad to hear them so I was prepared (and may have said/done things to mess with people's heads). Just one example - I had someone that works for my team tell me outside of work that her boss (who directly reported to me) was gossiping about me during my divorce (making up reasons for it). I'm very private at work so nobody knew any details so I was glad to know what's up.
Except that she said she was told "everyone thinks your pregnant" not everyone is saying you are. It was still tacky in delivery. She is a supervisor, she can't be that dimwitted to not think something said that way would hurt. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt like you, but this you can see right through.
Yeah, that makes sense. I agree, AT BEST it was very mishandled. At worst, I don't even want to think about a supervisor wanting to hurt their team but it happens all too often. I'd call her a witch but I'm not allowed as apparently the thread is now about persecution (and grammar errors). Sorry to the OP and I hope you're doing okay as this was about you and your need to vent it out.3 -
I had this happen once. My son was a year old and a patient of mine asked when I was due (and I definitely wasn't pregnant). I went home, burned the shirt I was wearing and decided I was going to lose. Use it as fuel to make them eat their words.5
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That is terrible! I had a coworker a few weeks ago who speaks very little english ask if I was Pregnant ( So not, just carry my weight in my stomach). I laughed it off but it was definitely a shot to the ego!2
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Someone actually asked me if I was pregnant recently. Uh, I'm 55 and really not planning on kids. Of course, I had just had abdominal surgery and was horribly bloated up from that. But still - what a rude question!
And me being me, I told them "no, I'm not pregnant but you're due shortly aren't you?" I was not in a good mood.12 -
elinordashed wrote: »This woman at work said "everyone thinks you're pregnant" today! I awkwardly laughed as I am single (and semi vocal about not wanting kids) (AND it would currently take the second coming of Jesus for that to be possible).
I even laughed with co-workers about it later and teased myself about my bulky sweater today.
But seriously! Wtf! Hurtful! Going home and incorporating wine into my dinner calories.
Everyone thinks you are pregnant today? As if you suddenly got pregnant enough to show overnight?? Unless you work with a group of mentally challenged people whoever told you this was just being mean. If you've recently lost some weight she may be trying to make you feel bad in an effort to make herself feel better.
Ignore her/them. Stick to your plan and meet your goals.4 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »elinordashed wrote: »This woman at work said "everyone thinks you're pregnant" today!
Everyone thinks you are pregnant today? As if you suddenly got pregnant enough to show overnight?? Unless you work with a group of mentally challenged people whoever told you this was just being mean. If you've recently lost some weight she may be trying to make you feel bad in an effort to make herself feel better.
Ignore her/them. Stick to your plan and meet your goals.
I think there was a quotation mark there. As in, 'Today, someone said "Everyone thinks you're pregnant"'.
(Sorry, couldn't help it.)
OP, after reading that this woman is your supervisor... wow. Just wow. Can't see her lasting very long if that's the way she treats people. I have a sneaking suspicion that you'll get the last laugh here.4 -
I had this happen once. My son was a year old and a patient of mine asked when I was due (and I definitely wasn't pregnant). I went home, burned the shirt I was wearing and decided I was going to lose. Use it as fuel to make them eat their words.
Ya a few years back, I was in a parking lot and saw a woman with a car that had stalled in the row. I asked her if she wanted me to help her push it into a spot. She said, "But you're pregnant!" I said, "No, just fat." I tossed that shirt after getting home and looking at myself in the mirror.
I could understand her confusion and don't blame her at all.4 -
kshama2001 wrote: »I had this happen once. My son was a year old and a patient of mine asked when I was due (and I definitely wasn't pregnant). I went home, burned the shirt I was wearing and decided I was going to lose. Use it as fuel to make them eat their words.
Ya a few years back, I was in a parking lot and saw a woman with a car that had stalled in the row. I asked her if she wanted me to help her push it into a spot. She said, "But you're pregnant!" I said, "No, just fat." I tossed that shirt after getting home and looking at myself in the mirror.
I could understand her confusion and don't blame her at all.
I too have responded with "nope, just fat" a few times.
It definitely catches the people saying it off guard because they don't expect to be called on their rude comment. I, on the other hand, do blame them because it's just flat out rude.3 -
GemstoneofHeart wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »I had this happen once. My son was a year old and a patient of mine asked when I was due (and I definitely wasn't pregnant). I went home, burned the shirt I was wearing and decided I was going to lose. Use it as fuel to make them eat their words.
Ya a few years back, I was in a parking lot and saw a woman with a car that had stalled in the row. I asked her if she wanted me to help her push it into a spot. She said, "But you're pregnant!" I said, "No, just fat." I tossed that shirt after getting home and looking at myself in the mirror.
I could understand her confusion and don't blame her at all.
I too have responded with "nope, just fat" a few times.
It definitely catches the people saying it off guard because they don't expect to be called on their rude comment. I, on the other hand, do blame them because it's just flat out rude.
With the possible exception of the situation in the OP, I really don't think people are saying it to be rude. It may feel rude on the receiving end, but I don't think that was the intent.2 -
kshama2001 wrote: »GemstoneofHeart wrote: »kshama2001 wrote: »I had this happen once. My son was a year old and a patient of mine asked when I was due (and I definitely wasn't pregnant). I went home, burned the shirt I was wearing and decided I was going to lose. Use it as fuel to make them eat their words.
Ya a few years back, I was in a parking lot and saw a woman with a car that had stalled in the row. I asked her if she wanted me to help her push it into a spot. She said, "But you're pregnant!" I said, "No, just fat." I tossed that shirt after getting home and looking at myself in the mirror.
I could understand her confusion and don't blame her at all.
I too have responded with "nope, just fat" a few times.
It definitely catches the people saying it off guard because they don't expect to be called on their rude comment. I, on the other hand, do blame them because it's just flat out rude.
With the possible exception of the situation in the OP, I really don't think people are saying it to be rude. It may feel rude on the receiving end, but I don't think that was the intent.
It might not be intended to be rude, but it is certainly thoughtless. Somewhat astonishingly given my wine belly, this has almost never happened to me. The one time it did in recent memory was at a fancy dinner with a bunch of my husband's clients and his boss. The gentleman who asked when I was due was hard of hearing so I had to repeat myself. It was... uncomfortable. I'm certain he wasn't trying to be rude, but I wasn't the one who made that situation awkward.
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