Wedding Dress- Need advice!!
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sarahseeto
Posts: 38 Member
Hello guys,
I need some serious, objective and rational advice.
My wedding is on the 28th of October. My seamstress ordered in the wrong size. Instead of a size 7, she must have ordered in a size 6 maybe even a size 4? Either way, the dress zipped but I was squished. I didn't want to argue with her despite her keep telling me it's a size 7 and I fit perfectly in it- I didn't. It took 7 months to get the dress in and I had 5-6 months to lose the weight. I thought it was doable.
I've lost 6kgs and I feel pretty happy with myself. I tried my dress on for the first time since then and it fits, it looks beautiful but I cannot take deep breaths!
I expressed my concerns that I couldn't breathe deeply and the seamstress told me that I should leave it on for an hour and the dress will give. She does not recommend to take the dress out at all!
Conversation is in the attachment and photo of me. (The middle is pinned up as she has to take it up as it's too long which is also her fault).
Do I try to lose more weight? Do I take the dress out? I weight 49kgs. I was on a 1300 calorie count and I'm 153cm tall.
Advice, opinions welcomed. I'm exhausted.
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Replies
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Um, you're tiny already. The SEAMSTRESS must find a way to make this work since she failed. If you can't breathe, you aren't going to be able to move either. How are you going to do your first dance? Or sit down?
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6 -
In her defence, I think you'll find it will stretch. My wedding dress fit perfectly 2 days before my wedding - it was made to measure. On the day I found that I was having to pull it up a lot as it had stretched (or I'd lost size in 2 days)... I wish I'd had it made a bit tighter!3
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Um, you're tiny already. The SEAMSTRESS must find a way to make this work since she failed. If you can't breathe, you aren't going to be able to move either. How are you going to do your first dance? Or sit down?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
My seamstress keeps telling me not to gain weight or lose weight and that it's a perfect size. It's really messing with my head. I quite like breathing...livingleanlivingclean wrote: »In her defence, I think you'll find it will stretch. My wedding dress fit perfectly 2 days before my wedding - it was made to measure. On the day I found that I was having to pull it up a lot as it had stretched (or I'd lost size in 2 days)... I wish I'd had it made a bit tighter!
So you think I should keep as is as it will loosen on it's own?
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Firstly, you look great and the dress is beautiful.
Is your seamstress always this rude to you? I, personally, would take my dress and my money to someone else who is willing to work with me and not try to ignore mistakes or deny problems that could be fixed. You plainly told her that the dress was too tight and made it hard to take in a full breath, and she basically said you were a liar.
I don't think that you should have to worry about losing more weight so close to your wedding just to fit in a dress that should be fitted to you by the seamstress. Don't let her bully you into that. If you are comfortable with your current weight and feel as though you don't need or want to lose any more, then don't!
Remember, this is YOUR dress, YOUR money and time, YOUR wedding/happy day, and that SHE is the seamstress and it is her JOB to make sure your dress fits you the way YOU want it to.15 -
It's a very beautiful dress, but I think you should feel comfortable in it. Can you actually sit or are you supposed to stand all day? In my opinion the seamstress ordered it. She's responsible that it fits perfectly at all time and under all conditions, also when you sit.3
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Firstly, you look great and the dress is beautiful.
Is your seamstress always this rude to you? I, personally, would take my dress and my money to someone else who is willing to work with me and not try to ignore mistakes or deny problems that could be fixed. You plainly told her that the dress was too tight and made it hard to take in a full breath, and she basically said you were a liar.
I don't think that you should have to worry about losing more weight so close to your wedding just to fit in a dress that should be fitted to you by the seamstress. Don't let her bully you into that. If you are comfortable with your current weight and feel as though you don't need or want to lose any more, then don't!
Remember, this is YOUR dress, YOUR money and time, YOUR wedding/happy day, and that SHE is the seamstress and it is her JOB to make sure your dress fits you the way YOU want it to.
You definitely have a fair point. I guess she always makes me feel that I've put on the weight and therefore it my fault. It's hard for me to be assertive and I'm paranoid that maybe I did put on the weight, despite calorie counting and checking my measurements religiously. I think I've gotten to the point now that I have a boarder line eating disorder as I feel beyond guilty whenever I go over my calorie count, even if it's my treat meal.4 -
My first question would be what is the fabric and just how structured is it? If it's a natural fibre on the inside with no boning then yes, it will give a bit with body heat and moisture (not sweat, just the natural nature of the human body etc).
That said. If you are not comfortable that is her lookout. I've never worked in bridal but it would be foolish to me, as a seamstress, to order a dress that is an exact fit or what you think is an exact fit. You leave yourself nothing to work with if alterations need to be made and when a bride is spending a significant amount of money, alterations should be a given whether they end up being needed or not.
She is working for you and not the other way round. If you're not happy it's her job to find a solution, not tell you you are wrong. This isn't a pair of jeans, it's a gown you want to feel 100% comfortable in so you can thoroughly enjoy your day without faffing about with a dress and at worse taking "unzip me for 5 minutes please" breaks.
And PS, you look absolutely wonderful whatever the outcome.8 -
You look so beautiful!
Are you used to wearing this kind of fitted clothing? If you aren't, is it possible that she's right and it does fit correctly, you just aren't used to the sensation? If you really can't breathe, it needs to be altered, but deep tummy breathing is not something you can usually do the same way in a fitted dress as in a loose sweatshirt. You don't want the waist too loose or the weight of the skirt won't be supported correctly. Heavy skirts can give you a backache over a long day.
I agree with the idea to wear it for an hour and see what you think.7 -
sarahseeto wrote: »Firstly, you look great and the dress is beautiful.
Is your seamstress always this rude to you? I, personally, would take my dress and my money to someone else who is willing to work with me and not try to ignore mistakes or deny problems that could be fixed. You plainly told her that the dress was too tight and made it hard to take in a full breath, and she basically said you were a liar.
I don't think that you should have to worry about losing more weight so close to your wedding just to fit in a dress that should be fitted to you by the seamstress. Don't let her bully you into that. If you are comfortable with your current weight and feel as though you don't need or want to lose any more, then don't!
Remember, this is YOUR dress, YOUR money and time, YOUR wedding/happy day, and that SHE is the seamstress and it is her JOB to make sure your dress fits you the way YOU want it to.
You definitely have a fair point. I guess she always makes me feel that I've put on the weight and therefore it my fault. It's hard for me to be assertive and I'm paranoid that maybe I did put on the weight, despite calorie counting and checking my measurements religiously. I think I've gotten to the point now that I have a boarder line eating disorder as I feel beyond guilty whenever I go over my calorie count, even if it's my treat meal.
Oh, my gosh! Sounds like she is really doing a number on you. If it is hard to be assertive, can you bring someone along with you like a sassy friend or relative who can help out?
You are paying for these services - imagine if you ordered a well-done steak at a restaurant and it came to you rare. Would you expect the cook to tell you that you are wrong and that everything is fine? Or would you expect him to fix it in order to give you what you want and what you paid for?
This is supposed to be a happy time for you! Think about what you believe is best for you to do about the dress rather than what she is trying to convince you to do (remember, if you keep it like it is, that's far less work for her). It looks and sounds, to me, like you have worked really hard on your end, and no blame should be shifted on to you.
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rheddmobile wrote: »You look so beautiful!
Are you used to wearing this kind of fitted clothing? If you aren't, is it possible that she's right and it does fit correctly, you just aren't used to the sensation? If you really can't breathe, it needs to be altered, but deep tummy breathing is not something you can usually do the same way in a fitted dress as in a loose sweatshirt. You don't want the waist too loose or the weight of the skirt won't be supported correctly. Heavy skirts can give you a backache over a long day.
I agree with the idea to wear it for an hour and see what you think.
^^ I agree 100% with everything she said. I don't like wearing anything tight or fitted so when I do sometimes I feel like it fits too tight... however, it is made that way! And would look weird if it wasn't fitted! I would try wearing it for an hour and see how you feel. If it's not going to work you have to have it let out at the waist. You have to be able to breathe (and walk, and sit, and dance...) on your wedding day! And definitely take a sassy friend with you to your next fitting.
You look BEAUTIFUL!!!! And your dress is gorgeous and *looks* like it was made for you. Your arms look great and you have an amazing figure! Your husband will be in awe when he sees you
I would not try to lose any more weight. You look great and you don't want to look exhausted on your wedding day!!
I know the struggles, I'm getting married in 26 days O_O I haven't lost nearly the amount of weight that I want to so in the back of my head I'm just like well ok, do I just stop eating for the rest of the month or... ? (I'm not actually doing that but my brain wants to sometimes)
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What areas feel squished? You need to "test" it to see if you can bend over, sit down, wiggle around as if you are dancing, etc. Keep proper posture, because sometimes hunching over can make it feel tighter.
In hindsight, I thought my dress fit perfectly but I had to keep pulling it up all night (strapless) as it wasn't tight enough in the waist.
You could also take the dress to another seamstress for a second opinion.
(Here's a pic of mine, for no real reason other than it's pretty! ) 5 -
The seamstress works for you, not the other way around. The dress looks great, but if it's too tight for your comfort, it's too tight. In addition to the dancing and sitting and walking around talking to guests, you might be eating and drinking and you'll need a little room in the dress for that. And what if you experience a little water retention on the big day? Again, you literally need some breathing room. Your wedding day will be a long day. Your dress is very flattering on you, but it might be a struggle to look relaxed and fabulous if you're straining to not pass out. Absolutely wear it around your house for an hour and see how you feel. If it's still not good, back to the seamstress you should go!1
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rheddmobile wrote: »You look so beautiful!
Are you used to wearing this kind of fitted clothing? If you aren't, is it possible that she's right and it does fit correctly, you just aren't used to the sensation? If you really can't breathe, it needs to be altered, but deep tummy breathing is not something you can usually do the same way in a fitted dress as in a loose sweatshirt. You don't want the waist too loose or the weight of the skirt won't be supported correctly. Heavy skirts can give you a backache over a long day.
I agree with the idea to wear it for an hour and see what you think.
Very very true. I rarely wear fitted clothes, and every time I have to wear a formal dress, I need to re-remind myself that no, it's not that I'm necessarily fat or squeezing into a dress, but that formal dresses are just more, well, fitted than what I wear.
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Do not lose more weight to try and make the dress fit. Your weight is fine. You did not do anything to make the dress not fit.
The seamstress screwed up and is trying to not take responsibility.
The dress should be fitted to you not you fitted to the dress. If it really doesn't fit and can't be altered get your money back and get a different dress.
A dress you wear once is not worth damaging your mental or physical health for. If it is not a family heirloom then a dress is a dress. There are a lot of pretty dresses out there. There is only one you.
I was 5 months pregnant at my wedding. I waited to get a pretty white dress off a rack at a department store fairly close to the event because my body shape was going to change. It fit. I was comfortable enough. I felt special enough. I have been married 17 years now. Only wore that dress one day. What I wore was not the most important part of the ceremony when I think back on the day.7 -
You look beautiful in the dress. It looks like a perfect fit, but only you know how it feels.
When I got married, I read a lot about the wedding industry. Evidently it's quite common for made to order dresses to not fit right, so you have to pay for alterations. The whole issue of vanity sizing means that nobody knows what a size is any more. Every manufacturer has their own version. I think they may be a bit behind so a size 6 is what 6 used to be 20 years ago rather than what it is now.
When my wedding dress arrived at the store I tried it on and it was much too tight. The sales clerk told me, "You ordered the wrong size." But I had tried on the model which was in my size and it fit perfectly so that's what I ordered. Rather than argue, I picked out the model, tried it on and yes, it still fit perfectly. The one they sent was too small. Since I only had about 2 weeks to the wedding, I took the model home. Slightly used, which upset me, but I got a discount, which almost made up for the fact that I didn't get a new dress.7 -
spiriteagle99 wrote: »You look beautiful in the dress. It looks like a perfect fit, but only you know how it feels.
When I got married, I read a lot about the wedding industry. Evidently it's quite common for made to order dresses to not fit right, so you have to pay for alterations. The whole issue of vanity sizing means that nobody knows what a size is any more. Every manufacturer has their own version. I think they may be a bit behind so a size 6 is what 6 used to be 20 years ago rather than what it is now.
When my wedding dress arrived at the store I tried it on and it was much too tight. The sales clerk told me, "You ordered the wrong size." But I had tried on the model which was in my size and it fit perfectly so that's what I ordered. Rather than argue, I picked out the model, tried it on and yes, it still fit perfectly. The one they sent was too small. Since I only had about 2 weeks to the wedding, I took the model home. Slightly used, which upset me, but I got a discount, which almost made up for the fact that I didn't get a new dress.
This happened to me too, 25 years ago - the issue was that the store model had been tried on and stretched. It turned out that the right undergarments and a little stretching made the new one fit as well.0 -
Stunning, you need to be comfortable and able to relax in your wedding dress, you wear it all day!! Don't think you should be losing anymore weight though pre-wedding nerves may cause anyway. Don't let her bully you, it's your special day.2
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I sell wedding gowns and can confirm that wedding gowns will stretch a fair amount as you wear it. Your body heat will help quite a bit. Do you have the opportunity to wear your gown for awhile before you are done with your alterations? That way you can see if it gives enough that you'll be able to wear it comfortably, or if you need it altered. You certainly don't want it let out and then find on your wedding day that it's buckling/ folding or standing away from your body at the bust because it is a little too big. Bridal gowns are not like ready to wear; they really do need to fit you like a glove, and some styles will feel constricting at first if you're not used to wearing garments with boning and several layers of structure. See if she'll let you take the dress home so you can try wearing it and moving in it for a little bit before you decide if you need it let out or not!5
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I really, really appreciate everyone's comments. I think I was going crazy with stress... I emailed my seamstress and said that I'll try the dress on this Friday and I will reevaluate it then. (I love my food and I definitely want to enjoy my wedding day food!) I'll keep you all updated with the end results. Thank you!6
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Can you leave it on for a couple hrs to see if it eases out a bit?2
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