Cyclical dieters, what (if anything) changed for you?

The difference between normal/healthy and moderately-but-obviously-over weight for me is only about 20 pounds (I'm 5' tall), which makes it easy to regain. I've gained and lost this 20ish pounds about 3 times over the years, and am wondering what will make this time any different. (And will it be different?)

Getting started is always hard, and slipping back into bad habits is always easy; so what's gonna keep me prioritizing my health and maintaining a diet aligned with my morals this time?

Here are mindset mistakes I made the first few times:
1) Thinking it's unnatural for me to be thinner and I'll always be starving/tired/cranky if I'm thinner
2) Doing lots of cardio and no weights
3) Crash dieting (I'd always try to lose quickly and then maintain, which never worked...)
4) Denial about how unhealthy I was actually being
5) Not buying myself new clothes and letting stuff get kinda sloppy but not actually seeing results
6) Cynicism about patriarchal culture, about beauty standards, and about the individual's role in cultivating environmentally sustainable lifestyle practices. Feeling overall powerless and worthless.

And here are mindsets I'm trying to cultivate:
1) Resetting what "normal" or "healthy" means for my body
2) Weights!! (crunch crunch flex flex)
3) Slow and steady... I think I lost like a pound this month. Patience and cultivating long-term sustainable eating habits is paramount.
4) Continuing to log. Logging keeps denial in check.
5) Only wearing clothes that fit.
6) Most importantly: cultivating overall better mental health, identifying and weeding out toxic behaviors, shutting down cynicism, cultivating self-worth.

What about you guys!! What's not worked for you in the past, and what's working for you now?