September Scale Sorrow

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Half_Bruin
Half_Bruin Posts: 56 Member
edited September 2017 in Motivation and Support
I remember the compliments like it was yesterday. I remember finding clothes in my size at the department stores I wasn't able to shop in for years. I remember attention from the opposite sex that I never got before. I also remember the denial as it slipped away over the past year. I remember the secret fast food trips before going to dinner with others. I remember the grilled chicken turning into a mcchicken.

The denial was in full swing. As the first 5 lbs came back I rationalized it with, "I earned this". Then 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 and I was in a spiral. The clothes didn't fit anymore. The compliments stopped coming. The attention not only stopped coming but became unwanted.

Today, when I stepped on the scale for the first time in 5 months my heart sunk. I saw a number I never wanted to see again. It hurt. I did the typical self loathing, blaming, etc. Then I reminded myself there are two options in this moment. Do what I have been doing, or do something different. I don't know what will happen tomorrow. But, at least for today, I chose something different and it feels good.

You're not alone. You don't have to be perfect. You will make mistakes. Just know there are more like you, more like us out there and together we can support and succeed at whatever we put our minds to.

Much love and best wishes in all your goals and journeys.

Replies

  • luce_de_luce
    luce_de_luce Posts: 41 Member
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    Poetic :)
  • kortshort14
    kortshort14 Posts: 1 Member
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    Literally what I'm going through right now! Trying to find new healthy habits to deal with my emotions instead of eating and feeling bad about myself❤️ thanks for sharing!
  • SeptemberRain81
    SeptemberRain81 Posts: 170 Member
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    So me right now... exactly how I feel. I just don't know how to climb out of this hole.
  • katsheare
    katsheare Posts: 1,025 Member
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    I'm halfway through recovering from the same thing. And I'm taking notes: notes of how I succeeded last time; notes of how I let that success slip away over the course of 3 years; notes of what I love about the journey this time, how I can make that part of my life journey; notes on what I don't love, and finding alternatives that I do love. My first try at weight loss and overall health was an experiment I half expected to fail. My slow crawl back to nearly where I'd started was willful ignorance. My work this time is not a short-term choice, it's a lifelong one. There is nothing halfhearted about it this time: I am deliberately looking for the tools that will work for me and keep working. I will never stop this work. I'm owning that, too.
  • OneHndClapin
    OneHndClapin Posts: 6 Member
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    It's amazing how we can sometimes convince ourselves that everything is ok, that we're ok, all the while climbing back to where we started from (or beyond, as was my case). Thanks for posting this.
  • JJS1979
    JJS1979 Posts: 177 Member
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    Really great attitude, I wish you the best of luck getting back to your goal!
  • KKowalski2008
    KKowalski2008 Posts: 7 Member
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    You can always come back from it, you just have to work through the cravings. I hope you're able to get back down to where you want to be!
  • DanniB423
    DanniB423 Posts: 776 Member
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    Thank you SO much for posting this!! I can't tell you how bad I needed this. I lost 66 pounds in the last year. I put 20 back on from May- now. My new fun clothes are so tight. I know if I don't get a handle on things, I will be back where I started and sad by Christmas. I am ready to head back the other way. Again, thank you.
  • mygrl4meee
    mygrl4meee Posts: 943 Member
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    I feel ya.. my goal weight was 170. i recently hit 205.. not good..
  • cenafan
    cenafan Posts: 398 Member
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    Exact same situation. I'm halfway back to where I was. I did it once...I'll do it again. So can you!!!!

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