Having a super difficult time right now and need advice.

Youve done it before so know you can do it, you have to be in the right mindset as we all know its not an easy ride. Small goals and steps, don't let one bad meal/day derail you and be an excuse to throw in the towel.
Logging bad days helps motivate me to do better the next day.

The approach I'm taking is that I'm trying to make incremental adjustments to my lifestyle that I feel are sustainable. I don't want what I eat to feel like I'm going without. Im trying to exercise in a way that feels like a chore. I have gone through the same thing as you so let's lose the weight once and for all and never go back eh.

The advice for myself would be finding a sustainable way to do this for rest of my life instead of telling myself this is just to get to my goal. Don't feel bad for drinking n eating junk unless you plan to divorce them for rest of your life. The more you restrict yourself, greater the rebound will be.

As they say in my yoga class, "not to judge but to learn."

Im at this point, add me if you want daily messages helps me feel accountable for my food intake!

Every single time you make a better choice is a step in the right direction.
Every.
Single.
Time.

It adds up.

Whether that decision is to take the stairs rather than the lift, putting a handful of the pasta you were going to cook back into the packet, choosing the tomato based sauce with your fish at a restaurant rather than the cream-based or deciding to put on your gym clothes on Saturday morning when you were thinking of staying in bed. ESPECIALLY when it comes to overeating - every time you decide to minimise the impact vs. what your were originally GOING to do - you've won. Rather than a whole bar of chocolate, I will eat half. Instead of buying a Starbucks Pumpkin Latte, I'll have a skinny latte. I'll have a glass of water rather than a cookie and only if I still want one in an hour will I eat one.

Small improvements and every single one is a win.

It ALL goes into the pot. It ALL counts.

In the past I have been guilty of the all or nothing approach to losing weight. It means that I am actually pretty good at losing weight, but then, when I switch things off, it creeps back on and I feel all the feelings you have described.

But I think I have finally learned to appreciate the small wins which means that I can maintain my weight long term. And you know what...small wins are easier to achieve and more frequent which means that not only do you get to feel proud more often but with such regular decisionmaking, it becomes habit to make the right choice rather than needing willpower.

You can do this! Good luck!

jazmin220 wrote: »

other days I go out and order multiple drinks appetizers and entrees.

Well - you're not going to be able to do that anymore, if you want to stay in a deficit, lose weight, and then keep the weight off. Or at least you aren't going to be able to do it in the same way, with the same frequency.

There is not ever going to be a time in your life when you will be able to eat the way that made you gain weight in the past, and not gain weight. It's not a diet, it's a permanent condition of reality.

So what do you want to do? Going out and having drinks, appetizers, and entrees all the time sounds fun. Hating yourself and the way you look sounds terrible. Is it terrible enough to make it worth changing your old way of life?

Reality is math. Add up the calories from your nights out and figure out what you want to do about them. Do you want to go out and have a big blow out once a month, averaging that with your deficit the rest of the time? Do you want to have less indulgent nights out more frequently? Could you have higher quality nights out, less often - maybe instead of a steakhouse with okay food go to a gourmet restaurant with delicious food half as often? Do you want to substitute fun activities which don't involve food? Maybe you would like to go out dancing, or to the theater, instead of to a restaurant?

Try to figure out the math. You need to have a certain amount of fun in your life and you need to have a certain number of calories in your life. Once you have your math, plan ahead how to stick to it. No one has any willpower after two drinks. It's also very hard to go to a familiar place and not do the same thing you always do there. But you can change the places you go. I changed the way I drive home so I wouldn't be tempted to stop at the corner for junk food. What you don't do is do the same thing you have always done in the past and then act all surprised when your "willpower failed."