Divorce Diet: The best revenge!
alexiscott31
Posts: 8 Member
I want to loose 100 pounds! started at 255 a month ago now down to 243 goal weight 150 going through a divorce and taking care of myself is the best revenge! Add me if you are going through the same!
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My soon to be ex husband cheated on me so instead of getting mad and lashing out or (getting revenge) I am focusing all my time and energy into myself and and in the end I hope he realizes what he missed out on!21
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Do it for yourself. Do it because you want to be healthier for YOU.5
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So if you find a new someone you are going to go back to your pre-weight loss lifestyle/habits?
Do it for you. Not for the approval or to "get back at others."16 -
I think it is phenomenal you are losing weight and wanting to get in shape. And I am sorry your soon to be ex cheated. I would imagine right now you still have some anger and I don't blame you on that but to keep this up, my advice to you is to focus on YOU. YOU matter now, how YOU feel is what is most important. Good luck4
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It will start off that way. It will be about revenge, but for it to truly work,it will be because you decided to make it about you. It's ok what first gets you here, so long as you learn while on the journey. Because the best part of it all ,wont be that he will notice you lost all the weight, it's going to be the newfound confidence you found after he left. Ask yourself why youre able to focus on you now that he is gone. Why are you only now making yourself a priority.For this to truly work it has to be about you. Because if you stay worried about him and if he wants you back after you lose weight ,which is umm pretty shallow and gross, then what's going to happen when he dont notice or care? You're going to get unmotivated. No,girl, stay for you,and get healthy minded as well as healthy bodied. Your heart has been through enough. Your best revenge is smiling and saying goodbye to himand all your insecurities he made you feel. Say hello to the new you,and all the possibilities you now have. Fall in love with you while on this journey.
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I am doing this for me! I just got the push I needed with this situation! Instead of focusing my energy and time worrying about him I am spending my time bettering myself, and that's the best "revenge" anyone could ever do. When I say this is my revenge (maybe a bad word for it, more motivation. I am not loosing the weight for him or to get him back because I ended the marriage I don't want him back I am doing this for me, but if by chance we run into each other in the future I want him to know what he screwed up. I have way more to offer than my looks. I am working towards my doctorate degree in veterinary medicine, and I am very pretty, I just not where I want to be at yet.17
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Sure, there's a common saying along the lines of, "Living well is the best revenge." I get where you are coming from.
Also, I tend to spend a lot more time in the gym when I'm single.
Years ago Elayne Boosler had a great routine about the "New Guys Will See Me Naked Diet." Alas, I cannot find it on youtube
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I get it. Living the good life is the best revenge! Live the good life!2
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Go girl! Been there .. you will see you're so much happier.. 10 years here and loving every second !2
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alexiscott31 wrote: »I am doing this for me! I just got the push I needed with this situation! Instead of focusing my energy and time worrying about him I am spending my time bettering myself, and that's the best "revenge" anyone could ever do. When I say this is my revenge (maybe a bad word for it, more motivation. I am not loosing the weight for him or to get him back because I ended the marriage I don't want him back I am doing this for me, but if by chance we run into each other in the future I want him to know what he screwed up. I have way more to offer than my looks. I am working towards my doctorate degree in veterinary medicine, and I am very pretty, I just not where I want to be at yet.
Coming from a guy's perspective, if I was in your husband's situation (I can't imagine I would be, but I know how egos work), I would never let it be known to an ex that I "knew I screwed up" if we ran into each other. I say that because if you were in any way hoping for that, you may be disappointed.
I've been married for 20 years myself and have screwed up royally many times....though never cheated. However, all of the things we do to each other that don't build us up tend to tear us down. For me personally I already know I screw up....all the time....way too many times. If, for whatever reason, we ever found ourselves in a similar situation, i.e. separated, divorced, whatever, getting back at the other should be the furthest thing from my mind. In that situation, the only thing that matters is healing - for both of us. And that's true even if you stayed married (I'm not giving marital advice here!).
As others have said, do it for your well-being. If anger makes you start, so be it, but let it be temporary. Let the habits take over, because if you don't, the anger will be more like a drug where you need something like that to motivate you. (This is a part that I know is true).
Wish you the best.12 -
Living well is the best revenge, and getting healthy will definitely help you live well. I still use my ex as a focus point when I need motivation. It's all about reclaiming my life and achieving my goals- if I can prove that all of his insults were bs in the process, even better. Do your thing girl, it will make you feel better, healthier, and help you reclaim your self esteem.3
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Well done for starting to lose weight.
I hope you find this an enjoyable process, and have so much fun being kind to yourself and feeling awesome, that you don't give a *kitten* what your ex, or anyone else thinks of you!1 -
Could it be that the desire for revenge is the problem?3
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I'm sorry your ex cheated on you. My advice is not to use your breakup or anger at your ex as motivation for your weight loss. The emotions from the breakup will pass eventually and then will you have the commitment to keep losing weight and to maintain the loss?
Dropping 100 pounds is a huge achievement and you can do it if you put your mind to it. You'll need to "put your mind to it" for the rest of your life.
If you're working towards your doctorate you know how to stick to something long-term!2 -
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alexiscott31 wrote: »My soon to be ex husband cheated on me so instead of getting mad and lashing out or (getting revenge) I am focusing all my time and energy into myself and and in the end I hope he realizes what he missed out on!
Did he? If you didn't focus on yourself while you were with him what is he missing?2 -
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I'm tempted to follow the path of least resistance and say something like "you are not going about this with the proper mindset", but the truth is most people have vain or purely superficial reasons for doing what they are doing. I would be lying through my teeth if I said the the increased attention I now receive from the opposite sex does not motivate me when I run or lift.
If vengeance is what it takes to get you where you need to be, it's as good a reason as any.6 -
I understand completely. About six months after my ex became my ex...he mentioned how much weight I'd lost. My response was, "It's amazing what you can do when you're happy."
Now...I gained it back eventually...but my initial motivation had nothing to do with that.1 -
Y'know what? It's okay for revenge to be the kick-start you need right now. It's a strong emotion and it can help you get started.
But your feelings may change as you continue your progress and you might have to stop and think of a better reason to lose weight. To make yourself happy, to feel better emotionally and physically, to stick around longer on this planet with your health.
But for now - screw that cheating ex, you can do this!!!4 -
People don't have to agree with my reason and motivation, but in the long run I know what is best for me. Thank you for your opinions though!3
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I have very many reasons to lose weight, but I have to be honest, revenge is one that keeps me going when others don't. I've been bullied for my weight since elementary school, you see, so that anticipated satisfaction of proving people wrong is a very powerful thing. I say ride whatever motivation train you find yourself on straight across the finish line, but know that learning to love myself and doing this for me has also been a crucial aspect of my weight loss.0
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I agree with everyone else saying you should do this for YOU!
My ex husband probably wouldn't be into the "new" size 10 me anyway. His current girlfriend is over 300 lb. He liked me just fine at 240, 307, and everything in between...
My current husband is a different story, and believe me, when he picks me up and carries me into the bedroom like he did yesterday, I'm not thinking "wow I'll show my ex!"1
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