Unsupportive husband...

erzsebet_1560
erzsebet_1560 Posts: 166
edited September 30 in Motivation and Support
I don't blame him. He's been listening to me talk about my diet, weight, etc for 14 years. He's just as sick of it as I am. But, I can't help but feel sad that he gets mad at me for ordering "diet" food or that I feel like he's trying to sabotage my efforts by going to get frozen custard and buying cinnamon rolls. He knows I can't say no to a hot steaming bowl of queso. Sorry..just had to vent.

Replies

  • SpaceMarkus
    SpaceMarkus Posts: 651
    Feel free to vent! Counter by ordering healthy foods and do your best to ignore his junk food. Or do what I did. When someone would bring donuts to work I'd have half a donut and throw the other half away.
  • Sarawoods
    Sarawoods Posts: 111 Member
    My husband is the same, but he confided in me that he is really afraid I will leave him once I lose all my weight... hes so cute.. I'm not going anywhere, Maybe your husband has the same fear!
  • babyblake11
    babyblake11 Posts: 1,107 Member
    I don't blame him. He's been listening to me talk about my diet, weight, etc for 14 years. He's just as sick of it as I am. But, I can't help but feel sad that he gets mad at me for ordering "diet" food or that I feel like he's trying to sabotage my efforts by going to get frozen custard and buying cinnamon rolls. He knows I can't say no to a hot steaming bowl of queso. Sorry..just had to vent.

    i dont get much support from my partner either. my partner is overweight so i think he is just jealous that i lost all my baby weight and im back to the the way i was before we met. he used to be fit as well and he let himself go. maybe its the same case here?
  • funkyspunky871
    funkyspunky871 Posts: 1,675 Member
    Same here, except it's mainly with my mom. I'm sick of "dieting" and counting calories just as much as my entire family is tired of hearing about it. The other day, my mom bought me a slice of cookie cake, saying it was just a cookie and I shouldn't feel guilty about it... Yeah, that worked out real well. I ate it, got home, and exercised for two hours straight, trying to burn off every single calorie I had eaten that day.
  • Kym1610
    Kym1610 Posts: 328 Member
    I understand, my husbad does similar things... he buys lots of milk chocolate when I ask him not to,then he offers it to me when I ask him not to. I've now started yelling at him everytime he does. He thinks he is being polite. He is learning slowly. I know it's not easy. My advise would be hang in there, maybe ask him to keep his treats some where that you won't see them.
  • AwesomeSauce4
    AwesomeSauce4 Posts: 1,062 Member
    Hey Sweetie I have Totally been there and still am with the hubby thing.. But mine doesn't look like it's going to end well at all :( But he has been my main sabotager for the last 12yrs and this time "I Won" and it is tearing him a part.. Just letting you know I will be here for ya if you want to vent or anything.. Feel free to add me if you like {{hugs}} Good Luck On your weightloss*muah*

    Rachel~
  • springtrio
    springtrio Posts: 429 Member
    Meh. Just let it go. My husband is too, and I've given up hope. I just do my thing, and he does his. I was walking on my treadmill tonight and he thought he'd be funny and stand directly in front of it while eating a bowl of ice cream staring at me. Not really funny unless you were there, but I just laugh it off now.
  • Daisy374
    Daisy374 Posts: 539 Member
    :( sorry to hear this... I am lucky to have had a supportive family behind me from the beginning... but sometimes my mother tempts me by asking me to eat out, or by fixing a fattening foods when we have family dinners knowing I won't be able to eat much of it. But I just think it is because she isn't dieting, so doesn't have to always be thinking in 'diet mode' lol
    But I sometimes think that when significant others aren't supportive it is mainly because they haven insecurities and may be afraid their partners will leave them once they reach their goals and look healthy and fit. Have you tried talking to him about it? He may not realize how often he 'sabotages' you... I hope things get better for you :)
  • ceeshelman
    ceeshelman Posts: 77
    Same here, except it's mainly with my mom. I'm sick of "dieting" and counting calories just as much as my entire family is tired of hearing about it. The other day, my mom bought me a slice of cookie cake, saying it was just a cookie and I shouldn't feel guilty about it... Yeah, that worked out real well. I ate it, got home, and exercised for two hours straight, trying to burn off every single calorie I had eaten that day.

    You have done a great job losing weight. Even with a sugar mom, what you are doing has worked overall.
  • CaptainMFP
    CaptainMFP Posts: 440 Member
    i dont get much support from my partner either. my partner is overweight so i think he is just jealous that i lost all my baby weight and im back to the the way i was before we met. he used to be fit as well and he let himself go. maybe its the same case here?

    I think this is a fairly common problem, especially with partners who are themselves overweight and out of shape. Before I got on board with my wife I really just stayed out of her way with reference to diet/exercise because (1) I knew how important it was to her and (2) I knew how easily I could sabotage her if I wasn't careful. Eventually I saw her success and knew my time had come as well, so we're in this together. I wish I could offer some simple advice for how to get a partner's support, but I'm not sure any exists. Until they're ready to accept the importance of your change (and ideally accept that they might need to do the same), there's really nothing for it. Do the best you can to communicate the personal importance of what you're doing and vent as needed here. While I have support from my spouse, the support I get from my MFP is crucial to my continued success. Good luck to you and keep your attitude as positive as you can! :smile:
  • ceeshelman
    ceeshelman Posts: 77
    Hey Sweetie I have Totally been there and still am with the hubby thing.. But mine doesn't look like it's going to end well at all :( But he has been my main sabotager for the last 12yrs and this time "I Won" and it is tearing him a part.. Just letting you know I will be here for ya if you want to vent or anything.. Feel free to add me if you like {{hugs}} Good Luck On your weightloss*muah*

    Rachel~
    I am so impressed with how much weight you and many others posting here have lost despite unsupportive partners. You are courageous and role models and incredible. You all, apparently, didn't need their support after all.
  • KevDaniel
    KevDaniel Posts: 449 Member
    It happens, people fear change and they don't like they idea of being left behind. This is not solely a spouse thing either while I have an amazing supportive wife, there are always friends, or family members that seem to want to sabotage the change.. Keep at it and it will all be worth it.
  • DanceYogaRun
    DanceYogaRun Posts: 373 Member
    I'm sorry, sweetie. I agree that it is probably some underlying issue/concern/insecurity on his part. My approach is to give my hubby some good lovin' and then have a chat about it while he's feeling more clear headed and happy, lol.

    We should meet up and go for a walk one day. There's some trails that give decent shade for walking just north of us. :)
  • ttfit2
    ttfit2 Posts: 54 Member
    So sorry to hear that your hubby is not supportive. I agree with others that it is some other under lying issue. You probably had eating bad food in common and now that is not something you both share. Insecurities manifest themselves in so many ways. You are changing now and he sees that. People don't like change and are afraid of the unknown. Keep pressing forward and reach your goal.

    I love this saying cause it is true. Stay focused, stay positive, stay productive... don't let NOBODY steal your joy!!!!!
  • erzsebet_1560
    erzsebet_1560 Posts: 166
    I'm sorry, sweetie. I agree that it is probably some underlying issue/concern/insecurity on his part. My approach is to give my hubby some good lovin' and then have a chat about it while he's feeling more clear headed and happy, lol.

    We should meet up and go for a walk one day. There's some trails that give decent shade for walking just north of us. :)

    Yes..we should meet up. :) That would be awesome. Thanks everyone for your supportive comments..this is what I love about MFP!!! Thanks for lifting my spirits:)
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