Hello there! Advice for an embarrassed gym goer?

skjones1606
skjones1606 Posts: 6 Member
edited November 21 in Introduce Yourself
Hi everybody I was hoping for some advice for a bit of a struggle I'm having here. I just recently moved to a new city and have been continuing my diet but this time, I hired a personal trainer and a nutritionist that just irons everything out for me, online. My struggle is, I have been seriously seriously embarrassed as all hell going to the gym in this new city. It's a college town, everyone knows what they're doing, it's incredibly packed and there's a wait for people to get in and do the free weights and I'm over here with tiny weights and even knocked myself over trying to figure out how to get the bench to stay at a 90 degree angle. I ended up giving up and walking out the gym after not being able to figure it out and I may have just died from embarrassment. The advice I've been given is "don't worry about it" "they'll get over it" "you'll get confident" but it's seriously something I dread so much. I don't dread the physical workout, it's the embarrassment. For those that have gone through this, what helped you? Any advice you can provide?

Replies

  • magster4isu
    magster4isu Posts: 632 Member
    Is that the only gym in town? There might be another gym that is a better fit for you.
  • RedSierra
    RedSierra Posts: 253 Member
    I don't feel embarrassed going to the gym -- but I've yet to go into the weights area where all the bros are.
    Can you go at a time when it is less crowded? Early in the morning?
  • johnd4076
    johnd4076 Posts: 181 Member
    First of all..."f@£k" them all! All of them had to start somewhere!
  • gcibsthom
    gcibsthom Posts: 30,145 Member
    They are right....you will get more confident. I had the same affliction. I started at the gym in November of last year and had absolutely NO idea what I was doing. So I started on one machine...the stationary bike...watched what others were doing...followed their lead, and modified it to my own style. So while on the bike I would watch people on the rowing machine....watched for a week or so, and then tried it myself....gained confidence on that and watched people on the chest press ....and so on. I still feel slightly intimidated by machines and techniques I have never tried, but I try to watch and learn. Now I am fairly confident on the machines and techniques I do use...You will be fine....remember that these people were probably in that same position years ago....You will be fine...
  • bleu_ciel5
    bleu_ciel5 Posts: 7 Member
    Hi skjones1606, I've been there as well and as a big guy I know how you feel. It was not easy to get on the machines and work out next to someone that looked like they were training for a marathon, to the point him and I looked like the before and after photos of some middle of the night weight loss infomercial. To start off with I agree with magster4isu and was curious if there was another gym in town that you could possibly go to? Someplace where maybe it is not so crowded? If that is the only game in town, you mentioned that you hired a personal trainer as well. Is the personal trainer able to go over a few work-outs with you while your there so you start to feel more confident in what you are doing? Also is there any way you can purchase home gym equipment (if you have the room) and workout at your house for a bit until you feel like you have the methods down? It doesn't have to be much, maybe a free weight set or something?
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    I've done all kinds of dumb things at the gym like you described. Although embarrassed, I just laughed at myself. A couple times I've overestimated my ability and gotten stuck under some heavy weight and had to call for help. Having people come rescue you from your stupidity is super embarrassing. But they didn't seem to think so, only I did.

    I did have a machine I couldn't figure out how to adjust just last week. So I just left it, and did something else. If anyone noticed, I didn't notice them noticing.

    Moral of the story: I don't think people are thinking about you as much as you think they are. Laugh it off. Headphones in, *kittens* off. Get it done.
  • skjones1606
    skjones1606 Posts: 6 Member
    magster4isu wrote: »
    Is that the only gym in town? There might be another gym that is a better fit for you.

    I signed up for a 24 hour fitness, which back where I'm from there are many all over, and I had no issues just snagging a room to do my workouts alone, but I'll definitely keep doing some research and see if I can one not so packed. Thank you
  • skjones1606
    skjones1606 Posts: 6 Member
    bleu_ciel5 wrote: »
    Hi skjones1606, I've been there as well and as a big guy I know how you feel. It was not easy to get on the machines and work out next to someone that looked like they were training for a marathon, to the point him and I looked like the before and after photos of some middle of the night weight loss infomercial. To start off with I agree with magster4isu and was curious if there was another gym in town that you could possibly go to? Someplace where maybe it is not so crowded? If that is the only game in town, you mentioned that you hired a personal trainer as well. Is the personal trainer able to go over a few work-outs with you while your there so you start to feel more confident in what you are doing? Also is there any way you can purchase home gym equipment (if you have the room) and workout at your house for a bit until you feel like you have the methods down? It doesn't have to be much, maybe a free weight set or something?

    I did hire a personal trainer, and I will definitely do a bit more research on my end to see if there is a less packed gym. When I asked the girl at the counter if there was a time where it was less busy, she told me that right now is not as busy as it gets. Haha I went at like 1030 at night thinking I was golden. The personal trainer is one I hired online and she tracks my progress through her app that she built for her program but eek I haven't been able to go back the last 2 days because of the sheer embarrassment. I will definitely have to try again. I'm hoping I can get the home gym equipment soon, but I'm currently living with a friend until the place I rented out is available.
  • KelGen02
    KelGen02 Posts: 668 Member
    I am with Johnd4076 screw everyone else, you are there for you, it doesn't matter what others think or feel. seriously you could be doing everything right be the hottest person in there and someone is going to have something to say about you anyways. We live in a world of judgement so forget everyone else and focus on you. You don't go to the gym to impress others right? You are going to support a healthy lifestyle for yourself. Rock on with your "tiny" weight and just do you. <3B):p The always being packed thing tho, that would make me definitely want to go to another gym. But don't go changing gyms because you are worried about what others think of you... No one puts @skjones1606 in a corner :D
  • erockem
    erockem Posts: 278 Member
    edited September 2017
    Most people are there just to get their workout in and leave.

    If you want to blend in here are my tips:

    1) Wear appropriate clothing. I notice people in Jeans working out, Beats vs earbuds, flipflops running on the treadmill, etc. Someone in a tshirt and athletic shorts/capris/yoga pants, regardless of the size, I may glance up just to see if I recognize you and then keep plugging away, otherwise you look like everyone else.

    2) Get an orientation to the equipment, it's usually free. At 37 I need an orientation to the cable weight machines. We went though each one so I knew how to use them and set them for my size. At 42 I did the same again with the free weights. Gym was packed but no one seemed to notice. Now I see why. At least 1 or 2 people a week are going though a treadmill, rower, stepper, spin bike, or weights. It's a common site. It will save you from an accident when everyone may actually look.

    3) Go with a goal/plan. I'm going to walk today - head straight to a treadmill and do it. If you're not sure what you are there to do people will notice. I've seen people get on a treadmill for 1 minute, act puzzled, maybe go to an elliptical get on, and then right back off, then disappear, then do something else.

    4) Everyone had to start somewhere. You may be motivating someone without you even knowing it.
  • VeggieBarbells
    VeggieBarbells Posts: 175 Member
    skjones1606 wrote: »
    Hi everybody I was hoping for some advice for a bit of a struggle I'm having here. I just recently moved to a new city and have been continuing my diet but this time, I hired a personal trainer and a nutritionist that just irons everything out for me, online. My struggle is, I have been seriously seriously embarrassed as all hell going to the gym in this new city. It's a college town, everyone knows what they're doing, it's incredibly packed and there's a wait for people to get in and do the free weights and I'm over here with tiny weights and even knocked myself over trying to figure out how to get the bench to stay at a 90 degree angle. I ended up giving up and walking out the gym after not being able to figure it out and I may have just died from embarrassment. The advice I've been given is "don't worry about it" "they'll get over it" "you'll get confident" but it's seriously something I dread so much. I don't dread the physical workout, it's the embarrassment. For those that have gone through this, what helped you? Any advice you can provide?

    Everyone rarely knows what they're doing. Only today I dropped plates off the Olympic bar (like a fool) and the lady next to me just watched and smirked. I reloaded the plate and got on with the Military Press.
    For those that have gone through this, what helped you?
    Quite simply Youtube videos, seeing others do it works.

    Chris Jones - This dude makes me laugh, but his lifting advice is good.
    https://www.youtube.com/user/thebeastmodetraining/featured

    Bodybulding.com - A great reference point, plus good videos
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC97k3hlbE-1rVN8y56zyEEA

    Stronglifts - If you want to try a structured programme, this is a great starting point.
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpTEaSO-9MCPlXf_VY7gatw

    To be fair, no one cares what your doing in the weights section. Its how long are you gonna take is why people look. Its like I've only got 30 mins, how long is she gonna be? Believe it or not, no one intentionally goes to the gym to eyeball someone doing weights.

    So just do your thing, and when your finished move onto the next exercise. Enjoy it, cos lifting is fun and badass. Good luck.



  • Johncalvinfields
    Johncalvinfields Posts: 179 Member
    Don't worry , put on your headphones, earpiece or whatever you use , turn up the music and concentrate on yourself. You will be just fine. It works for me
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,169 Member
    I had no clue what I was doing when I first signed up for my gym, so I went up to the front desk and asked if they had someone who could show me. They did. One time I had a guy trainer show me, the next time I went in it was a woman trainer. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I mean, it's their job to orient you to the equipment! I told them I was a complete beginner, they showed me what to do in a supportive and polite manner, gave me some encouragement and tips on the correct form, said to come find them if I got stuck, and it was great. I didn't have time to be embarrassed, I was so busy paying attention. Bonus: I was in a new town and nobody knows me so I decided I'm anonymous. Honestly, nobody looks at me while I'm working out.
  • yskaldir
    yskaldir Posts: 202 Member
    Did you give up learning how to walk, drive, ride a bike because you couldn't master it in 2 minutes?
  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
    I saw a lady fall on the treadmill and get thrown into the wall...now, THAT'S embarrassing. She still comes to the gym.

    I've never heard of someone dying from embarrassment.
  • QJ18
    QJ18 Posts: 25 Member
    I would rather invest in ways to workout at home or with personal trainers. But that's just me.
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