Dealing with "You're too skinny" comments?

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HvymetalMG
HvymetalMG Posts: 93 Member
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
I've heard this from friends, family and co-workers the past few months. At first it's flattering to know my efforts are producing noticeable results but after a while I'm getting sick of it. Not to mention I am trying to put on muscle so heading I'm super skinny is actually insulting.

Anyone else experience similar comments?
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Replies

  • GemstoneofHeart
    GemstoneofHeart Posts: 865 Member
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    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    I think the biggest factor is that these people aren't used to seeing your new/current body type. Over time, they will get used to it and sort of forget the "old you" they had in their minds.

    To a lesser extent, people (particularly in some areas) are used to seeing mostly overweight and obese body types. A person who is regarded as fat and frumpy in say, southern California, could be considered very skinny and chic in rural Oklahoma. No hate on Oklahoma mind you, it's just a matter of fact.

    Even though I'm still very far from "skinny" since I have reached a healthy BMI after years of obesity, people have said similar things to me at times. I think most of them are just trying to flatter and compliment me. But a few I believe are referring to physical characteristics that I am actually self-conscious about...so I get the way it can also be insulting. Hopefully those people will keep their comments to themselves in the future.

    There are 8 states that are "fatter" than oklahoma per 2016s data. Just saying this because I am an Oklahoman, and people love to tell me how fat and frumpy I am all the time. I weigh 183 pounds, so I'm not obese (anymore). Not sure I agree with your reference, it has more to do with the people around you, not where you live.
  • GemstoneofHeart
    GemstoneofHeart Posts: 865 Member
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    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    GemstoneofHeart wrote: »
    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    I think the biggest factor is that these people aren't used to seeing your new/current body type. Over time, they will get used to it and sort of forget the "old you" they had in their minds.

    To a lesser extent, people (particularly in some areas) are used to seeing mostly overweight and obese body types. A person who is regarded as fat and frumpy in say, southern California, could be considered very skinny and chic in rural Oklahoma. No hate on Oklahoma mind you, it's just a matter of fact.

    Even though I'm still very far from "skinny" since I have reached a healthy BMI after years of obesity, people have said similar things to me at times. I think most of them are just trying to flatter and compliment me. But a few I believe are referring to physical characteristics that I am actually self-conscious about...so I get the way it can also be insulting. Hopefully those people will keep their comments to themselves in the future.

    There are 8 states that are "fatter" than oklahoma per 2016s data. Just saying this because I am an Oklahoman, and people love to tell me how fat and frumpy I am all the time. I weigh 183 pounds, so I'm not obese (anymore). Not sure I agree with your reference, it has more to do with the people around you, not where you live.

    Ahhh I probably should have thought twice about naming a state. I like Oklahoma, believe me. I'm in the Midwest and surrounded by plenty of very heavy people and fully aware that it's one reason I didn't honestly really feel that bad being obese for most of my adult life (until the past few years)...I fit in fine in my area even at 300 lb, honestly. I mentioned OK because of some nutritional study I read awhile ago, but mainly because I have noticed when going out to concerts and restaurants in Tulsa, I always feel very overdressed and notice a general difference in the crowd versus going to same types of places in say, KC, Chicago, Twin Cities, etc.

    Seriously no offense intended. I know plenty of thin & very attractive Oklahomans also.

    It's all good! Just wanted to point out my own experience in a "fat state" since people around me regularly state how 200 pounds is disgustingly fat (when I weighed 227...). I work in a young office, so my environment is fairly healthy. I also live in OKC, which might be different than a small town.
  • Bekahmardis
    Bekahmardis Posts: 602 Member
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    I've been hearing it most of my life. At 5'3" I should be somewhere between 104 and 115 pounds. When I hit 130# I decided enough was enough. Then I started hearing "Oh, you're fine where you are! You don't need to lose anything!" Just because I may look smaller to them at 130# does not mean I am not overweight for my size. I'm pretty happy now, fluctuating between 110 - 114 pounds here and there, but I still have a bit of a "jiggle" in my hips....

    I guess I'd rather have a "bit" of a jiggle than a joggle? :)
  • sofchak
    sofchak Posts: 862 Member
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    I echo the statement about people needing to adjust to seeing you at your new weight. I used to hear it all the time. Now a year into maintenance and my weight loss is old news now.

    Regardless of what people said, I just continued on my journey. I am the only person in the whole world with final say on what would be considered "too skinny" for me.
  • chioreo
    chioreo Posts: 29 Member
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    When I reached my goal weight but put a few pounds back on, a friend told me that I had looked too scrawny and better now. It was demotivational considering I'd worked really hard to get where I was and didn't feel quite as good now. I've since learned not to take other people's comments as seriously.
  • GlassAngyl
    GlassAngyl Posts: 478 Member
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    I will never complain about being called too skinny when I reach the top skinny mark..
  • HvymetalMG
    HvymetalMG Posts: 93 Member
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    I weigh 144 and I'm 5'9". I don't feel thin when I look in the mirror.

    But thanks everyone for the feedback it's good to hear
  • HvymetalMG
    HvymetalMG Posts: 93 Member
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    When I was trying to lose I was at 1800 calories a day. Now I'm at like 2300 a day and lifting 4x a week. But also doing kickboxing 4x a week. Not sure that is hurting but it's my only form of cardio
  • JaydedMiss
    JaydedMiss Posts: 4,286 Member
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    I get that alot from my aunt, Who is semi notorious in these forums because of her attempts at convincing me of ridiculous diet myths and trying to sabotage my loss the entire way. So when i say some people really are just mean, I mean it lol. She tells me im to skinny every week and has been saying it for the past 80 pounds. For people like her, Its mroe i believe about self denial and hate. She cant lose weight, And is unwilling to put the work in, So my loss annoys her and makes her mean.

    But for the vast majority people really dont mean harm, They see you lose weight and compliment you on your hard work, The whole "to skinny" part is an annoying part yeah but most likely not meant to be mean. Just sort of one of those sentences that come out naturally
  • emailmehere1122
    emailmehere1122 Posts: 140 Member
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    HvymetalMG wrote: »
    When I was trying to lose I was at 1800 calories a day. Now I'm at like 2300 a day and lifting 4x a week. But also doing kickboxing 4x a week. Not sure that is hurting but it's my only form of cardio

    I just did a quick google and it says your at the low end of a healthy weight.

    I'm definitely not a expert on weights but I do know people that are lifting need extra calories to gain muscle and 2300 seems a little on the low side to me. If you are looking to gain muscle I would check out the other forums and see what those guys have to say

    It sounds like you have a lot of people that care about you. Even though it's irritating try to keep that in mind when they mention your weight. I know that's easier said then done but it is what it is.
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,811 Member
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    @emailmehere1122
    144lbs and 5'9" isn't the low end of healthy - at 21.3 it's pretty close at to the middle of the healthy BMI range.
    The BMI calculator on here gives: 21.3 and the BMI healthy range is 18.5 - 25
    Target weight range: 125.3 lbs - 169.3 lbs


    OP
    First world perceptions of healthy weight are very skewed. I'm the same height but 168lb, very close to the top end of the BMI healthy range and I'm regarded as "slim" by most people.
    Your friends, family and colleague's perceptions of you are also skewed, it takes time for the new you to become the normal you.

    I got some "too skinny" comments while losing weight, mainly I think because my weight loss was at first most noticeable from my face. Mostly those comments were from people who are either failed dieters or just plain fat.
    I dealt with the comments differently depending on who was making the comment and what I thought their motivation was. If genuine concern I reassured then I was OK, if just being bitchy they got an offer to help them with their weight loss. ;)

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