Dealing with "You're too skinny" comments?
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This really frustrates me, it's considered rude and shocking for someone to say 'wow you've really gained some weight and are looking unhealthy' but people seem to think it's acceptable and okay to say 'you've lost too much weight and would look better with some more meat on you' or the like..
Where is the difference between the two?
I sometimes think to myself if u say u think I'm too skinny one more time, I'm gonna call the kettle black and say well I think you're too fat and would look better to loose some weight and see how that makes them feel...
They are either BOTH acceptable things to say to someone or BOTH unacceptable statements to make.
And breathe...Okay that's my rant over :-)9 -
For me - "My BMI Is bang on in the middle of healthy."
You can follow that with "What's your BMI?".... "oh we can find out out on the internet if you don't know!.."
This whole 'fat acceptance thing alas seems to have a good bit to answer for,
To be fair, I do have a bigger than average build that possibly does look a little skinny in proportion (28 to 30 waist with 42-44 chest and I haven't done any weights for a few years now)...but that doesn't mean I want to have more fat!
However... having never really been 'skinny', I take it as a compiment... and that I'm still not THAT skinny, yet a lot of trousers listed as 'M' and even some as 'S' are too big for me makes me sad for society as a whole!5 -
This bothers me so much, people can compliment you without mentioning weight at all - a simple "you look great" is so much better than "you're so skinny".
Being called skinny isn't exactly comparable to being called fat (and I say that as someone who has been called both), but it can still sting especially if you're trying to put on muscle. Most people who say it to you mean it as a compliment as they think "skinny" is something our society values and you've therefore achieved an important societal standard. To those people I would just say a nice curt "thank you" and leave it at that.
Unfortunately some more mean spirited people might be saying it in order to make you second-guess your weight loss achievement. There's nothing you can say to these people, so just smile and nod and know that the only person who needs to be happy with your body is you.1 -
canadjineh wrote: »The low end of a healthy weight is still a healthy weight, just sayin'.
I'd just pleasantly say, "Thank you," and walk away.
If you're referring to my comment I never said being at the low end of a healthy weight wasn't healthy....just sayin'@emailmehere1122
144lbs and 5'9" isn't the low end of healthy - at 21.3 it's pretty close at to the middle of the healthy BMI range.
The BMI calculator on here gives: 21.3 and the BMI healthy range is 18.5 - 25
Target weight range: 125.3 lbs - 169.3 lbs
@sijomial
Hopefully the chart I've attempted to share showing healthy body weight by frame size will show up...imo bmi will be more skewed then his family and friends perceptions..especially since they have actually seen him0 -
emailmehere1122 wrote: »canadjineh wrote: »The low end of a healthy weight is still a healthy weight, just sayin'.
I'd just pleasantly say, "Thank you," and walk away.
If you're referring to my comment I never said being at the low end of a healthy weight wasn't healthy....just sayin'@emailmehere1122
144lbs and 5'9" isn't the low end of healthy - at 21.3 it's pretty close at to the middle of the healthy BMI range.
The BMI calculator on here gives: 21.3 and the BMI healthy range is 18.5 - 25
Target weight range: 125.3 lbs - 169.3 lbs
@sijomial
Hopefully the chart I've attempted to share showing healthy body weight by frame size will show up...imo bmi will be more skewed then his family and friends perceptions..especially since they have actually seen him
So not BMI then, we are talking about different methodology.
BMI is just a specific height/weight ratio.0 -
A lot of people are not used to seeing people at a normal size. Overweight in many ways is the new normal.
I have had some comments but it usually stops when I state my BMI (22.5). Useful too to use when needed.
It shows that I know what I am talking about too. However it irritates me that so many people do not understand normal anymore and personally I am not keen on comments on my weight(loss) at all.
Most of the negative comments, masked as concerns, have been in a rather passive aggressive manner been adressed toward my husband. He is totally in the know about my goals and basicially sates: She knows exactly what she is doing and she is not to skinny. This is what normal weight looks like4 -
emailmehere1122 wrote: »canadjineh wrote: »The low end of a healthy weight is still a healthy weight, just sayin'.
I'd just pleasantly say, "Thank you," and walk away.
If you're referring to my comment I never said being at the low end of a healthy weight wasn't healthy....just sayin'@emailmehere1122
144lbs and 5'9" isn't the low end of healthy - at 21.3 it's pretty close at to the middle of the healthy BMI range.
The BMI calculator on here gives: 21.3 and the BMI healthy range is 18.5 - 25
Target weight range: 125.3 lbs - 169.3 lbs
@sijomial
Hopefully the chart I've attempted to share showing healthy body weight by frame size will show up...imo bmi will be more skewed then his family and friends perceptions..especially since they have actually seen him
So not BMI then, we are talking about different methodology.
BMI is just a specific height/weight ratio.
@sijomial
I just quickly googled ideal body weight by frame size and that chart popped up. There are so many methodologies, who really knows which one is best, but bringing bmi to the ops attention is good thinking on your part
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Instead of being upset and not knowing what they mean, why not ask if it bothers you that much? If someone says "Oh, your so skinny", then just ask "How do you mean skinny?" Where I am from, it is not a bad thing, as it is a compliment on a big accomplishment....but older people will say "You are getting fat" meaning a compliment as in meaning that you are healthy looking. A put down is more like ..."Eat a burger", Bones", Unhealthy looking"...
Only way to know is ask 1 -
ACanadian22 wrote: »Instead of being upset and not knowing what they mean, why not ask if it bothers you that much? If someone says "Oh, your so skinny", then just ask "How do you mean skinny?" Where I am from, it is not a bad thing, as it is a compliment on a big accomplishment....but older people will say "You are getting fat" meaning a compliment as in meaning that you are healthy looking. A put down is more like ..."Eat a burger", Bones", Unhealthy looking"...
Only way to know is ask
I think "too" is the operative word in Op's post, and in most of these situations. "Too" is a value judgement.1 -
My reply would be "my doctor says I'm not too skinny, I'm following his advice in order to be as healthy as possible, do you think he is wrong? Would you like to come to my next appointment maybe you and he could agree what's best for me"7
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I find it a bit insulting considering I think I'm healthy and fit. I usually just flex my arm at people to say "I'm not that skinny." :P7
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TimothyFish wrote: »Just smile and reply, "You're too fat."
bwahaha..I was going to say that.3 -
HvymetalMG wrote: »I've heard this from friends, family and co-workers the past few months. At first it's flattering to know my efforts are producing noticeable results but after a while I'm getting sick of it. Not to mention I am trying to put on muscle so heading I'm super skinny is actually insulting.
Anyone else experience similar comments?
I have the exact same thing
I was 17 half stone and decided at 49 to get my life sorted took up mountain biking and in 5 months i am 13 stone exactly were a 6 foot male should b
But you look ill. You need to stop. Do you want some chocolate and pizza. The list goes on
Getting totally fed up with it i thought i had done a great thing in loosing the weigh going from a 38 inch waist to a 32 inch very pleased but the negative comments are unreal
But my wife is also dieting and mountain biking and she says i look good and not to worry because thats what a 13 stone man looks like
Just because they were used to seeing you at 17 and half they will get used to it then ask how you did it
I know exactly how you feel3 -
when I was at my thinnest I was told I was too skinny also, It drove me nuts because I could still stand to lose another 5lbs or so of fat, and I was well into am healthy BMI stats. I just said "no im not" and walked a way,lol
I was 5'7", 136 lbs, and still wore size 11 jeans thanks to my bid hips1 -
I think it just took people by surprise because I did look really thin compared to what I used to look like, but I think people would have gotten used to it eventually. sadly i didn't stay there long because I got pregnant and gained it all back0
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I'd say "My doctor is happy with my weight and fitness level." (As long as you actually are at a healthy level. If your doc/a healthcare professional is one of those telling you to put on weight, that's serious.)
I'd agree with others that people compare their image of you to what they are used to and what they remember of your appearance. Observer error - if their idea of your previous weight is their "normal" for you, then dropping significant weight would make you look "too skinny." They just need a lot of time for their mental template of what is "normal" for you to change. And if their immediate community is mostly overweight that affects their subconscious idea of "too skinny" too.
I got comments like that too from friends and family - when I was 5' tall and 125 pounds, so no-one's definition of "too skinny." They were just used to me with a shape that was 165.3 -
I usually find it insulting. I work hard to put on healthy mass (weightlifting) and when people say I'm a 'twig' it kind of makes me feel less progressed. To the 'you need to eat some chocolate' comments, I am always tempted to say "sure are you buying"? Also, they never seem to suggest a quality delicious food like a nice cut of New York Strip. It's always Junk suggestions.3
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People are just stupid about this and have no idea what they're saying. I had people in health related professions tell me this when I was still 25 lb over the high end of my BMI range. I have no idea....
^^ I agree, people are stupid sometimes.
My doctor recently told me, "You're still losing weight. Don't lose any more." I said, "Why? I'm only 5 pounds from being overweight." He didn't answer.
To the OP, I don't know the answer. I find it annoying, too. Tell them your doctor is happy (unless your doofus doctor is the one making the comment). Change the subject and ask them about their health.3 -
My GF says that I'm "too skinny" but then she tells me that I should buy skinny jeans.
So, she's conflicted and I don't take her seriously. I think it's more about her thinking that she's "too fat" than that I'm "too skinny."1
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