Success!! But so emotional, need some support please

H_Dubbs
H_Dubbs Posts: 68 Member
edited November 21 in Goal: Maintaining Weight
Reached a 50 lb loss yesterday but have been crying all weekend. I think I'm having an identity crisis, I don't recognize myself in the mirror or pictures.

This did not happen with the first 40.

Backstory, I lost 40 lbs 4 years ago, left MFP, maintained for awhile but slowly gained 15 back. I returned to MFP a year ago and lost the 15 plus 10 more.

I know some of my fears are related to regaining the weight and eating more calories. I have been reading threads here with your tips and feel like with your help I'll be ok, even though there will be a learning curve.

I needed to post here because I'm sure others still trying to lose will think I'm nuts.

Time and new clothes will help probably but I was not prepared for these feelings of... I don't even know what to call it

Thanks in advance...

Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    Sometimes my mind mistakes excitement for anxiety...I often get excited about something and then immediately after get worried. It happens with all kinds of stuff, I think some people are just wired that way.

    Congratulations!


    Now go buy yourself a new jacket!
  • countcurt
    countcurt Posts: 593 Member
    edited September 2017
    Identity crisis? You are not alone. Here's what I thought when I first reached goal:


    https://countcurtblog.wordpress.com/2016/03/23/the-journey-begins/


    Good news? It can be done. Bad news: sometimes it's still a struggle. And maintenance never ends.


    Advice? Whatever you did to lose the weight- change notihing. At least for now.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    edited September 2017
    Crying happy or sad? I get overwhelmed by my success (150 lost) but it is always a good feeling.

    I agree with @countcurt. Maintenance is the same as losing but you get an extra treat or two each week, assuming you were losing at the recommend slow rate of .5 per week or less at the end. It's only a few hundred calories difference. Maintenance never ends, but I knew that. I certainly don't want to go back into weight loss mode again.
  • H_Dubbs
    H_Dubbs Posts: 68 Member
    Well they're not happy but they're not exactly sad either. It's more like a combo of relief and anxiety. Then I feel guilt for not being happy, I mean SHOULD be.

    The change is from 1350 to 2100 cals but I work out, A LOT, and I want to build muscle so it will ask me to eat even more.

    I am not going to attempt to eat that many at first, prob aim for 1500 plus some of my workout bonus calories.

    I have a trainer who will help me set reasonable eating goals (and advice from here of course).
  • H_Dubbs
    H_Dubbs Posts: 68 Member
    @countcurt thanks for sharing, that's helpful
  • Suzanne_the_foot_lady
    Suzanne_the_foot_lady Posts: 222 Member
    Change is scary! It could also be hormonal, being overweight can mess up your hormones, so they may be adjusting. Have a cry, then look at the positives and be happy!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    Oh, well that is going to be a big change to go from 1350 to 2000... and if you stick to 1500 you'll probably continue to lose for a while. Going immediately to 2000 *may* result in a small gain for a minute, but hang on. I wouldn't stick to the deficit if you are at goal. Bite the bullet and get on with it.

    Maintenance after such a severe deficit is going to be tricky. There are many reasons to not eat at so large a deficit with little to lose - not the least of which is anxiety, irritability, hormone imbalances. I think you may have inadvertently caused your issues by previously under eating.

    Stay the course. I would eat at maintenance for at least six weeks before making any other adjustments.
  • countcurt
    countcurt Posts: 593 Member
    edited September 2017
    750 additional calories per day is quite a bit. I suppose it depends on how quickly you were losing. But I'd still go cautiously. A lot changes during these first few months.

    BTW, thanks for the 'shout out.
  • LiftHeavyThings27105
    LiftHeavyThings27105 Posts: 2,086 Member
    WOW! That is a huge increase. I know that you stated that you will not jump immediately from 1350 to 2100 . What is the rationale for "2100 Calories"? From where does that number come?

    And, the fear of gaining the weight back is real. The struggle to maintain is real. You have a history or loosing and then going back up. Like most. I would say that there is a reason for that (and, not being critical or judgmental or ugly with that statement). Ponder what that might be.....

    Cool that you are working with a trainer.

    Awesome that you feel the need to share and to ask. I know how scary it is to put yourself out there at first. So, congrats on that (and, yes - see that you have some 50-some posts....so, not your first....but you still asked).
  • H_Dubbs
    H_Dubbs Posts: 68 Member
    Thanks for the comments everyone, they are all helpful.

    The 2100 cals comes from MFP when I switched to maintenance, I'm currently at 159 lbs. Even if I switch to "lightly active" it's 1890 cals. I often get 10,000 steps before hitting the gym.

    I am disregarding that number to begin with anyway. I was comfortably making 1350 plus workout cals work so eating an additional 150 or 200 cals will feel like a holiday. It is entirely possible that I log incorrectly anyway, perhaps I ate more than I thought. Either way paying attention worked and I will continue to keep track and adjust as necessary.

    It was scary to post here but it was scarier to not do anything and continue to feel bad. I feel better now and I went shopping. A super nice sales girl helped me put together some new outfits.

    Thanks Again!!

  • starfruit132
    starfruit132 Posts: 291 Member
    Congratulations. You earned it and certainly know what you are doing - so stay confident and take it one day at a time. It takes a lot of courage to show your fears - stay the course. A trainer is a great support system while transitioning to maintenance. Best to you.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    Remember that maintenance is a range not one specific number. Most people set a 5 lb range for maintenance. When/if you get to the top or bottom of that range, adjust your eating calories up or down for a few days until you get back in range. This is how you make sure you don't gain back. I still weigh daily and have maintained for a year. Some weigh weekly. But if you weigh only monthly or less, you are potentially more likely to gain back without realizing it.
  • STEVE142142
    STEVE142142 Posts: 867 Member
    hevachick wrote: »
    Well they're not happy but they're not exactly sad either. It's more like a combo of relief and anxiety. Then I feel guilt for not being happy, I mean SHOULD be.

    The change is from 1350 to 2100 cals but I work out, A LOT, and I want to build muscle so it will ask me to eat even more.

    I am not going to attempt to eat that many at first, prob aim for 1500 plus some of my workout bonus calories.

    I have a trainer who will help me set reasonable eating goals (and advice from here of course).

    First of all congratulations on the success. Yes it is an emotional Journey would up and downs. I went through the same thing and it is a process.

    Maintenance in some sense maybe tougher then losing. To lose all your doing is figuring out your calories decree sit by the guidelines in mfp and it works pretty. Maintenance on the other hand is a learning process I basically went from 288 to220 in a matter of six months and I was totally happy with it. I plugged my stats into mfp it told me how much to eat and I followed it. I was also working out three to five times a week in the gym. Basically screwed up badly lost another 12 pounds eating at what mfp says is maintenance. Could have lost a lot more weight but for the past year I've been around the 208 area.

    You have to listen to your body and figure it out yes it does take some time and effort and the logging and the food scale is more important now then it was during weight loss. Trust the process it does work but everybody is different.
    Maintenance is a trial-and-error process and it's figuring out what your body does Now versus what it did in the past



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