Getting back in the game...for the ___th time.

Fatvaporizer · September 2017

I started my weight loss journey around last year, late July, August timeframe, at 210 lbs. After a year of on and off discipline, procrastination here and there, and all-out constant days of ignoring my goals, I've managed to lose around 55 pounds. I am now currently at the weight of 155 lbs. Over the period of my weight loss journey, I've received many compliments from all sorts of people about how great I look, how much I've changed, et cetera. Compliments were abundant, and I got used to them since I kept hearing them a lot.

My goal is around 145 lbs because that's what the BMI calculator shows to be 'healthy,' whereas my current 155 lbs shows healthy, but is at the borderline of overweight and healthy, for my height (5'8") and age. But, recently, as I was continuing my weight loss journey, compliments started turning into comments of discouragement, most likely unintentionally so, but nonetheless discouraging, demotivating, and frankly, annoying. They are compliments such as 'Stop losing weight! You're getting way too skinny!' 'You need to eat again...' and even specific ones like 'Wow, your neck is getting way too skinny, look at that picture,' 'If you keep going you'll have nothing but skin and bones,' and the worst one is 'Stop losing weight or you will not look good.' These comments came from the same people who kept complimenting me throughout my journey; family, friends, and also a few people on Facebook who have seen me as the 'fat guy' all my life. One thing that I am baffled by, though, is that in pictures, I can see that my face has become really small and thin, but why is it that I have all this jiggly fat in my belly and hips, et cetera?

I understand they may be worried about what they perceive to be drastic (even though it took about 8 months total) weight loss. I did it the healthy way also, diet and exercise. But it gets to the point where it demotivates me and discourages me to keep going, when I still want to and feel like I need to keep going. Reason is because even though I may look skinny in my clothes, I definitely have a jiggly belly left, and fat in my hips and thighs, and other places. I may be what you call 'skinny fat.' All those people telling me to stop losing weight can't see beneath my clothes, yet tell me that I have nothing more to lose, that I'll be a skeleton if I do.

This is what makes me stressed out and frustrated. What do they know, right? I know my body best. This pressure from people to stop my weight loss and fitness journey makes me lose all motivation, and I go on hiatus every time I get those comments, i.e., I take weeks off working out and caring about my physical well-being. I go back to eating unhealthy foods with complete disregard for my health, like binge eating cake, milkshakes, ice cream, et cetera. I forget all about the gym and exercising because I just tell myself 'everyone is telling me to stop or I won't look good or be 'unhealthy'.

This is what causes me to always stop my weight loss journey. How can I stop people and factors from demotivating me?

How can I lose that jiggly stuff without getting 'smaller in size,' per say; that people keep insisting that I don't do.

Thank you so much for your help and advice.

rundgrenrocks · September 2017

I haven't been where you have but I wanted you to know I read this and felt bad about it. But I kind of understand it--people don't like change, even good change! Especially if they have things about themselves they should be working on--you are a symbol of their lack of success, and the way for them to feel better about themselves is to drag you down. The only thing I can offer is that maybe you stop sharing any more details with them. Something vague like "My doctor and I are very happy about where I'm at", or "I feel terrific, thanks!" to shut down the conversation!
Maybe some of the jiggling is loose skin? I hear it gets a little tighter over time.
Hang in there. Remember why you did this great thing for yourself!

candjmunoz · September 2017

My SIL is exactly the way you describe yourself. I'm still too overweight to have that experience. In my SIL's case, she really did lose too much weight. SHE says so, not me. One thing I have read over and over again is that people who hear the comments about losing too much weight usually don't hear those comments after they start strength training. It may be that you really could be skin and bones, but if you were to add muscle, it would offset that a bit. However, you have to do what is best for YOU. If you are pleased with your path, continue on it. Maybe find one friend that you can call for a pep talk when you get down about the comments. Someone who will tell you that you are not going too far (or who will tell you that you really are if you need to hear that!). If you really are doing things in a healthy way, this trial may be where you build the most personal strength to get through it.

My mom had 8 kids (now all grown). She says that the same people who used to call her crazy eventually became the ones who would call her to ask for her help and praise her to others. I think this could be the same thing.

timtam163 · September 2017

First of all congratulations!! I think once you've established that your goal is healthy and that you aren't struggling with an eating disorder or body dysmorphia, you're within your rights to stick to your guns and make decisions for yourself.

It will take people time to get used to your new body. It also might take you some time to get used to being skinny even if you think you're "skinny fat". And as per @candjmunoz, if it demotivates you to hear their comments because you think they're genuinely concerned, weight lifting might help you recomp and look more toned/feel stronger.

Fatvaporizer · September 2017

Thanks, willing to hear more

Getting back in the game...for the ___th time.

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