I Know It's Not About The Food.............

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arabianhorselover
arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
in Motivation and Support
Four years ago I started out great. Highly motivated, and willing to do what it takes. I lost 47 pounds, and got in the best shape of my life. Well, four years later I have managed to gain back a good portion of the weight I lost. I had some health issues, and was not able to exercise for a while, but have been trying to get back into that. Have been eating everything in sight, however. I hate gaining the weight, but I have just felt compelled to keep shoving food into my mouth. Trying hard to figure out why I am doing this to myself.
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  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,971 Member
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    If you now can do some exercise, I would do it!

    I find my hunger to be far less when I get even a half hour brisk walk.

    The other thing is - what are you eating? Too many carbs and not enough protein and fiber will leave me looking for more food before the next meal.

    Log all your food and aim for hitting that protein goal every day. Have at least one vegetable that's not a potato at every meal.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,971 Member
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    ...before I get jumped on, nothing wrong with potatoes! I just don't count them as my "one vegetable." I try to only have one starch per meal. Better? :lol:
  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    Oh, I've been eating all kinds of crap, and I know it. Not much that's actually good for me. It's been like I know I'm killing myself with food, but I can't stop. Today I took a good look at the size of my belly, and I feel a bit more motivated than I have been. Thank God.
  • Piperx222
    Piperx222 Posts: 68 Member
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    It's soooo easy to fall back into bad food habits. I had lost a lot (approx 100) and then life happened and I wasn't paying attention, and back on a lot of it came. Now I had reached my goal weight and kind of mentally freaked out, self sabotaging, binge eating and completely lost the motivation. Keep gaining and losing the same 10-15 lbs all summer. The mental struggle is no joke and is a constant struggle for me.

    I keep logging. Keep trying to do some self reflecting (sounds cheesy but it's helpful), thinking about why I feel like I have to keep shoveling the 'whatever' in my mouth. When I'm feeling like that I'll make myself do SOMETHING healthy first, go for a walk or even just some stretching or whatever to try to break the cycle of reaching for the food. If I'm still wanting it, I eat something healthy (carrots / peppers and hummus, yogurt, etc) first and a glass of water. Helps me not do so bad if I do end up grabbing the cookies :smile:
  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    Yes. It has been so easy for me to fall back in. A little here, a little there. Pretty soon I was right back where I always was. Eating what I want, when I want, and as much as I want.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    arabianhorselover wrote: »
    Yes. It has been so easy for me to fall back in. A little here, a little there. Pretty soon I was right back where I always was.
    It's not difficult to eat too much. I used to believe I had some kind of superpower there. But almost everybody is able to eat way more calories than we need.
    Eating what I want, when I want, and as much as I want.
    That's not a bad mantra. Just aim to let what you want, be as much as you need.
    arabianhorselover wrote: »
    I can't stop.
    This is compulsive overeating, and I know it well. It feels so big and powerful, and you feel so small and helpless, and it's a terrible feeling. It's a kind of self-harm, it numbs emotions, temporarily, but emotions don't just stay away.
    Today I took a good look at the size of my belly, and I feel a bit more motivated than I have been.
    I don't think just realizing you are gaining weight, can make you stop overeating. Having lost weight hasn't been enough motivation before, I don't think it will last now. I think that in order to stop the compulsive overeating, you have to want get rid of the behavior, and the emotions and thoughts associated with it, not just the weight gain which is a side effect of it.
  • lalamuh
    lalamuh Posts: 5 Member
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    Michelle - I'm right with you! I gained most of my weight in a 3 year period that I'm still trying to recover from when my professional and personal life imploded. I've been fighting to get therapy ever since but if you're not earning then going private isn't an option and don't make me laugh by suggesting NHS or charity coverage... I used up my NHS allowance in 2 months and the charity never got back to me. I've even tried forums on Mind but no-one posts regularly enough to start up a conversation any more. I've started gaining weight again and the doctor's suggestion was a self-help book from the library (expletives here). No I can't use medication they made me suicidal and then gave me horrible withdrawal when I came off them - this isn't normal so I still advocate other people try them. ham

    The shovelling seems to happen subconsciously and regardless of what is around, I'll grab whatever I can get my hands on (I'm vegetarian almost 2 decades and I found myself munching on my partner's ham last week; yesterday it was his Pepperami!). This is not normal!

    I just don't get it - I was brought up very strict and my childhood home never had fizzy drinks or chocolate or crisps or biscuits... So I never used to crave them. I'm a mental mess and I KNOW this is the root cause of my current physical condition (I need to lose at least 20kg minimum). The more I eat the worse I feel about myself and that makes me want to eat more...

    So I am embarking on an LCHF diet to try and combat hunger whilst dieting and to not count calories (which stresses me and makes me want to eat). I hope this is the start (again) of a reformed food monitor.
  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    Oh, I know that just knowing I'm gaining weight won't make a difference. I've been gaining for months, and it hasn't stopped me. I am working with a counselor on this issue. For me food has been a comfort, mostly. It has helped me get through a lot of difficult things in my life. It has been my "freedom". The area where I could do whatever i wanted when the rest of my life seemed out of my control.
  • krist3ng
    krist3ng Posts: 259 Member
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    This was a really interesting read, and might help you identify patterns leading to bad eating choices (I feel it's helped me understand my own decision-making..): https://medium.com/behavior-design/hyperbolic-discounting-aefb7acec46e
  • aganey
    aganey Posts: 501 Member
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    I just had a breakdown last night because of your same exact issues. I eat and eat and eat. I choose everything bad for me. I eat even when I'm not hungry. Everything is going great in my life so it's not about bad things happening in my case. I'm happily married with two great kids. I just quit working in march to be a stay at home mom and have been doing creative projects that I never had time to do when I was working. So if things are stellar right now, why am I eating like this? I don't know why. As I was eating a bowl of cereal last night at 10pm knowing I wasn't hungry and knowing I am killing my self, I kept telling myself to dump it out but I ate it all. After that is when I broke down. I talked to my husband for support. He's amazing and tells me I'm beautiful no matter what, but that he supports me with cooking leaner meals and promises to not bring soda to the house and says he will join the gym with me. I feel better today after talking with him. I've decided I'm not going to log my calories right away but I'm going to take it slow and make better choices, fix smaller portions, and drink a glass of water when I'm wanting that late night snack.

    We can do this! When you've hit rock bottom and realize it's rock bottom (in my case it is) then you can only go up from there. I hope we both work through these habits and start new healthier ones. Feel free to add me as a friend and we can do it together.
  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    I have thought I hit bottom so many times...........
  • MichelleReturnsTo120
    MichelleReturnsTo120 Posts: 11 Member
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    krist3ng wrote: »
    This was a really interesting read, and might help you identify patterns leading to bad eating choices (I feel it's helped me understand my own decision-making..): https://medium.com/behavior-design/hyperbolic-discounting-aefb7acec46e

    Thanks for the link! The article helped me.
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,862 Member
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    I had a vacation weekend and told myself I would log but could go over "a little". An hour at the event and I was munching on candy and cheetos. Really?? The only thing I didn't consume was alcohol. I ate for a day and a half- whatever I wanted. Way too much. It was like the "go" switch was flipped. Oh, and no internet so I couldn't log, which usually helps me put the breaks on.

    Since I've regained weight twice now, the full amount lost plus some, I'm really nervous about once again hitting goal weight- and derailing. This weekend was a little clue of what my mind wants to eat.

    I'm happy, married, great kids, blah blah. But, I couldn't have sweets or chips as a child. I think I take my chance and cram as much into my body as I can, when I give myself the green light. I think that, for me, I can't give the green light, unless I want to overeat by 7000 cal in a day and a half.

    Arabian, I remember you from years ago (your name is catchy). You need to "just" restart and stick with it. Maybe once in awhile allocate 1000 calories to candy, like I do at Halloween. But, no more green lights. No more freebies. Log it for life.
  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    Thank you for the suggestions, fiddletime, but right now logging everything I eat is too restrictive for me. I am feeling a lack of freedom in too many areas of my life already. The thought of logging everything makes me want to rebel.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    arabianhorselover wrote: »
    Thank you for the suggestions, fiddletime, but right now logging everything I eat is too restrictive for me. I am feeling a lack of freedom in too many areas of my life already. The thought of logging everything makes me want to rebel.

    Why not think of it as something that brings freedom? Now that you are logging everything, no one on this planet
    (including yourself) can tell you "you can't have that ice cream". All you need to do is take one look at your remaining calories, and if you have enough respond "like hell I can't!"
  • krist3ng
    krist3ng Posts: 259 Member
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    MichelleReturnsTo120 wrote: »
    krist3ng wrote: »
    This was a really interesting read, and might help you identify patterns leading to bad eating choices (I feel it's helped me understand my own decision-making..): https://medium.com/behavior-design/hyperbolic-discounting-aefb7acec46e

    Thanks for the link! The article helped me.

    I'm so glad!

  • arabianhorselover
    arabianhorselover Posts: 1,488 Member
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    arabianhorselover wrote: »
    Thank you for the suggestions, fiddletime, but right now logging everything I eat is too restrictive for me. I am feeling a lack of freedom in too many areas of my life already. The thought of logging everything makes me want to rebel.

    Good idea, but I haven't got my head wrapped around the idea of doing that whole logging thing again. I did it for a couple of years and got burned out on it, I guess. I did it less and less, and finally quit.
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,862 Member
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    arabianhorselover wrote: »
    arabianhorselover wrote: »
    Thank you for the suggestions, fiddletime, but right now logging everything I eat is too restrictive for me. I am feeling a lack of freedom in too many areas of my life already. The thought of logging everything makes me want to rebel.

    Good idea, but I haven't got my head wrapped around the idea of doing that whole logging thing again. I did it for a couple of years and got burned out on it, I guess. I did it less and less, and finally quit.

    I did the same thing. I never wanted to log again, because it really felt restrictive. But then I gained all my weight back. Now I've created "meals" and just log them and they show the breakdown of nutrients. I figure that, for me, my choices are to log, or to stop logging and gain weight.

    I'm really tired of gaining (that's not so bad!) and then losing (sick of it). Maintenance appears to be to do exactly what I'm going now (gain a little and lose a little) just with more calories. There's really no "end" unless you're one of the lucky few who can maintain without logging. Maybe I'll try that- in a few years!

    I also feel more in control and ate a whole Hershey's bar last night because it was in the freezer, and I had the calories free.

  • rach021979
    rach021979 Posts: 103 Member
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    Maybe with healthier eating and workouts you can add in time with a therapist? Get to the root of the problem, solve the issues. You will feel a lot better!

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