I have no WHY to keep me going.

fatty2sixpack
fatty2sixpack Posts: 67 Member
edited November 21 in Motivation and Support
I am depressed and don't care if I live or die. I have no WHY to look back at if I ever start thinking about quitting. I am morbidly obese almost at a very unhealthy 500 lbs. How am I supposed to push myself to keep going on trying to lose weight if I don't really care about losing weight or dying?

Replies

  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,534 Member
    Agree, you need to find some mental health professionals to help treat your depression.

    But this question occurred to me, what if you weighed 250lbs? Do you think you'd feel differently?

  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    Well you are here asking the question so you must care at least a little. As others have noted you need to treat your depression first. See a doctor.
  • theowlbox
    theowlbox Posts: 912 Member
    Likely the main problem is depression and the side effect was weight gain. Treat the main problem and you will be more able to fix the side effects. Of course you have no motivation. That is not the problem to solve right now.

    Muster up the energy you do have and talk to a mental health person and get your feelings back in a good range. Either you have a medical issue that made you depressed out of the blue or (more likely) bad crap happened and you never knew how to deal with it, so you ate because food = chemicals. The good news is, you can fix that, and then the rest of your issues will fall into line. This is a fixable problem. Just see a doctor.

    Feel better soon and good luck with it. Going to therapy changed my whole life. I never would have known such a good life was possible and I never would have expected to find losing weight so (relatively) easy once the emotional stuff was resolved.
  • Raquel_Mama
    Raquel_Mama Posts: 1,815 Member
    I want to help you fight this battle and be there to support you.....friend request sent. Hang in there, you can do this! :smile:
  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
    I know it sounds odd but if you work on becoming fit and losing weight you will feel better mentally and physically. It won't be easy and is better described as hard work but so worth it. If you can work on three things they would be calorie deficit, fitness and better nutrition from quality foods. See losing three hundred pounds as a goal and go at it.
  • BunnyDish
    BunnyDish Posts: 19 Member
    I have no idea what to say in these situations... so this is probably the wrong thing to say...

    My husband suffers from chronic anxiety and depression and recently read a book called Inside Out written by a guy called Sven Hansen. Sven is apparently the founder of the resilience institute and it had a few tricks in it that sounded useful? At least my husband says so... though he did say there are large sections of the book that were pure science waffle that bear no resemblance to helpful advice lol. Even so, he said it's worth a skim through for the actually useful techniques and tips. Coming from him, that must mean it's half decent.
  • squirmmonster
    squirmmonster Posts: 98 Member
    Look into YouTube about subconscious reprogramming! There is often a lot of spiritual stuff tied into these techniques, but you can find ones that aren't all about that. The point is a lot of things in your mind were put there and you can get rid of them! Your bad thoughts and feelings, your bad habits, including over-eating and bad food choices. (I bet whoever raised you is overweight too, right?) This is just something I want to put out there in addition to the advice to seek help. That's obviously good advice, but I also feel like, if you had that opportunity, you might not be here asking a forum. I've been in your shoes. I hope you feel better. If you just want someone to talk to, you can talk to me. :)
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    See a professional--you need support. As for losing the weight, alot of people have done it here on MFP. They are just normal people that started out with small changes and kept going. Do a search and you'll be amazed. Good luck and remember that you're worth saving.
  • theabsentmindednurse
    theabsentmindednurse Posts: 404 Member

    Please seek professional help.
    Life is a gift. Take this as an opportunity to start a bright new beginning. Good luck,
  • fatty2sixpack
    fatty2sixpack Posts: 67 Member
    88olds wrote: »
    Agree, you need to find some mental health professionals to help treat your depression.

    But this question occurred to me, what if you weighed 250lbs? Do you think you'd feel differently?

    If I weighed 250 pounds would be less depressed and more capable of pushing myself to eat right and move more. I would also be able to go out in the world and create a life for myself resulting in e becoming more happy.
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 1,249 Member
    edited September 2017
    fatty2sixpack wrote: »
    I am depressed and don't care if I live or die. I have no WHY to look back at if I ever start thinking about quitting. I am morbidly obese almost at a very unhealthy 500 lbs. How am I supposed to push myself to keep going on trying to lose weight if I don't really care about losing weight or dying?

    Hey

    First thing is first, this post is a request for help. It may have been subconscious but that is what it is.

    I have been through depression and manage it daily myself, it's a big thing you've done already to admit it and either consciously or subconsciously ask for help.

    I have been working with both depressed and overweight clients for some time.

    Have you asked yourself what is making you feel depressed? Could it be your weight and thus opinion of yourself? Not many people share the low opinion you may hold of yourself right now.

    I promise you, you can change both your physical situation and mental wellbeing through the process of exercise and changing your body shape. (Exercise and weight loss are 2 of the key changes people make when depressed that change the sufferer's sense of worth.)

    If you want to chat privately, hit me up on email (dg-pt@outlook.com) or on MFP messenger.

    I'd be happy to take the time to help work with you.

    Remember the first steps can sometimes feel impossible and you won't want to continue, you may even feel demoralised, but once you make it past those and start to see results, the rest of the journey you will not only want to take, you'll enjoy the journey.
  • gg2007
    gg2007 Posts: 71 Member
    Hey!

    I believe that deep down you really do care, you know why? Because you took the action step to get on myfitness pal to start tracking your food. Sometimes when you first get started it can be so hard....I know what its like as I started off at over 400lbs, but you have to start somewhere.....I now im nearly 170lbs down with around another 100to go, so im living proof that you CAN do it and ALL things are possible. I sent you a private message with my friend request. Check it out! :-)

    fatty2sixpack wrote: »
    I am depressed and don't care if I live or die. I have no WHY to look back at if I ever start thinking about quitting. I am morbidly obese almost at a very unhealthy 500 lbs. How am I supposed to push myself to keep going on trying to lose weight if I don't really care about losing weight or dying?

  • SLLeask
    SLLeask Posts: 489 Member
    Read this thread: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10601644/new-drivers-lic-photo-just-shocked-me-270-pounds-lost-so-far#latest

    Be inspired and maybe ask the guy from this thread some questions... I saw that thread and immediately thought of you. It is possible! Good luck on your journey, do see a therapist though.
  • jkh64
    jkh64 Posts: 5 Member
    I have been over weight for many years. I always made jokes about it but it is truly depressing. I used to be active and confident now I just feel like a loser. I am not motivated and very lazy due to lack of energy. You do have a why you are the why. You here first step done. Got to the Dr. they will help with weight loss and depression. I don't now how to connect on here but we can figure it out. I will help you if you will help me. I have over 100lbs to lose. Maybe we were meant to meet here today
  • Sugarnspice1922
    Sugarnspice1922 Posts: 144 Member
    Its good that your reaching out! But please get some couseling. Talking is good

    In the meantime i hope you get positive support here because you matter :)
  • NR81206
    NR81206 Posts: 54 Member
    Do you like music?? Music really helps me, especially during my ... I guess you can call them episodes? Anyways, I turn on some music whatever I may be in the mood for and I just go for a walk, and tune the rest of the world out.. it's really helps me. I have Major Depression, along with other stuff.. I refuse to take meds for it.. I also refuse to speak to someone about my feelings when they won't have a freaking clue on how I feel. Sometimes counseling and medications don't work for everyone.... I know they don't work for me, I've tried...
  • smokinbluegrass
    smokinbluegrass Posts: 126 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    you need to treat the depression first. speak to a friend or family member and see the doctor.

    This. A bazillion percent this.

    I have fought severe and chronic depression for decades, alone, and failed more than once at making myself die. Even putting myself in situations where circumstance should make me die didn't work out. A month ago, I finally sought help.

    There are other complicating issues for me (lots of concussions and a couple good TBIs that never got rehabbed, plus some severe trauma that was healed until one of the TBIs broke my brain), so it's gonna be a minute before I get better. I liken it to fighting cancer alone, forever, without treatment.

    Point is, there's help for everyone. Even if you don't care whether you live or die, someone does. A lot. And it could be someone you haven't even met yet.
  • annie22uk
    annie22uk Posts: 8 Member
    Lots of great responses. Keep going. I hope you find some positives in the replies here. You mentioned if you weighed less you'd feel less depressed and be able to go out more and create a life for yourself. It's so possible. People lose weight with MyFitnessPal. I regularly read the Success Stories and it gives me hope and motivation to carry on. There are people who have lost tonnes of weight and turned their lives around. Don't give up. Every journey begins with a single step. Make friends on here for your support and keep going :)
  • Kullerva
    Kullerva Posts: 1,114 Member
    edited October 2017
    Get some help--there are therapists online that are reasonably priced and can help you through this.

    I have clinical depression with suicidal ideation. When I have a relapse, grabbing the safety razors from the spare bathroom suddenly seems like a really good idea. Whenever my mood drops, my therapist tells me to wait it out because it is temporary. It will pass. You won't feel like *kitten* forever, and if you do something rash because of your mood it won't help anything. All you have to do is wait it out. Nothing else.

    You will feel better. Not good, maybe, but better than you feel now. And you have an idea of the person you want to be. Focus on that. Life's not easy, but it's not always miserable.
  • Fursian
    Fursian Posts: 551 Member
    fatty2sixpack wrote: »
    88olds wrote: »
    Agree, you need to find some mental health professionals to help treat your depression.

    But this question occurred to me, what if you weighed 250lbs? Do you think you'd feel differently?

    If I weighed 250 pounds would be less depressed and more capable of pushing myself to eat right and move more. I would also be able to go out in the world and create a life for myself resulting in e becoming more happy.

    Then I think you found that "WHY". If you believe you'll be less depressed at 250 pounds, go get that 250 pounds. Going out in the world and creating a life resulting in becoming more happy sure sounds like a better future than a one without you in it.
  • Sunnyme333
    Sunnyme333 Posts: 27 Member
    After getting some help for the depression focus on taking the first steps instead of the whole journey. Set small goals for your self. We are all cheering you on.
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
    Lookup Boogie2988 on Youtube. He was at 500lbs (now 400+) and he's done alot of videos about his weight. Check him out. You can probably relate to him.
    Some of the stuff is not easy to listen to, but he's one of the nicest guys on the internet.
  • katenix08
    katenix08 Posts: 31 Member
    Hey bud, I hope you're okay. I know how hopeless it feels when you can't find a "why". But the thing is, maybe without knowing why, you put this post up and now you have 30 friends that want to see you succeed. These threads are posted under the heading "Community" for a reason! We are all here to support each other and it's a two way street. We can find our "whys" together, one day at a time. So add me...why? Because I need a friend and also cuz
    I think your hat is pretty dope
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