Dealing with compliments
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delisha527
Posts: 62 Member
I’m sure people are starting to notice or have noticed your weight loss, when they have complimented you on it how do u respond. I’m a typically shy modest person and it seems like the more I lose the more people notice. I usually just say thank you but I’m uncomfortable saying how much I’ve lost and then I typically feel like their comparing my success with themselves idk I’m just curious on if others have the perfect speech for when friends coworkers and family compliment you on your weight loss
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Replies
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I'm the same as you in that I say thanks and leave it at that unless they ask specifics then I'll tell them more.
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Keep it short and sweet. "Thanks, how are you?" or "Thanks, I love your shoes/dress/lipstick!" Deflection is key if you're uncomfortable talking about it.16
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I have lost almost 70 and though I am uncomfortable with specifics, my weight loss is so noticeable that I hear complements at work a lot.
To whatever their complement or awkward statement is, I usually reply “Thanks—I’ve been working on it.”
The person usually then asks how much I’ve lost. I always reply “Not telling, but I really appreciate your encouragement.”
Why in the WORLD do people (not friends but just general co-workers) think asking how much you’ve lost is an appropriate question? Argh.10 -
WhistlerToo wrote: »I have lost almost 70 and though I am uncomfortable with specifics, my weight loss is so noticeable that I hear complements at work a lot.
To whatever their complement or awkward statement is, I usually reply “Thanks—I’ve been working on it.”
The person usually then asks how much I’ve lost. I always reply “Not telling, but I really appreciate your encouragement.”
Why in the WORLD do people (not friends but just general co-workers) think asking how much you’ve lost is an appropriate question? Argh.
Why would people ask you? Because they are happy for you! Go with it...11 -
Like everyone else I am usually at a loss of what to say! Especially as the opener in my case is usually "You've lost weight" or "Have you lost weight?"before a compliment. Although, I have also had "Thought so!" in response to the latter which is a bit unanswerable! It's just a really uncomfortable situation all round & makes me want out of there as soon as possible
I always say thank you but I'm definitely working on not automatically adding on "I've got a long way to go yet though!" , or something else that diminishes my progress so far. But of course that's my issue & not the other person's fault! Most folk mean well.
If I'm honest, I think it may be a big reason I've got so far with weight loss my entire life & always put on the lbs again....I'd rather not have the attention & comfortably hide in the fat.
Does anyone else feel that way?
It's something I'm trying to work on because I genuinely want this time to be the last & I really shouldn't allow my poor handling of these things to sabotage my efforts. My DP on MFP was a big step forward for me mentally. Actually putting my progress out there for all to see...sort of forcing myself through the discomfort as practice for real life?WhistlerToo wrote: »I have lost almost 70 and though I am uncomfortable with specifics, my weight loss is so noticeable that I hear complements at work a lot.
To whatever their complement or awkward statement is, I usually reply “Thanks—I’ve been working on it.”
The person usually then asks how much I’ve lost. I always reply “Not telling, but I really appreciate your encouragement.”
Why in the WORLD do people (not friends but just general co-workers) think asking how much you’ve lost is an appropriate question? Argh.
Think "how much have you lost?" is a really odd question from folk you don't know so well or only see occassionally if it's apropos of nothing. Bit like asking someone what they earn or how much they sold their house for. Yeauch!
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I don't see how much I've lost as personal, so anyone asking may also be oblivious to rhe possibility rhat you do. if you ,just say that's personal anyone just curious should back off a bit cause if they push after that they're demonstrating bad manners instead of ignorance3
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I agree with just saying "thanks , I've been working at it". Especially since the first few people who asked me were concerned if I was sick or losing on purpose. (I was definately obese so not sure why their first thought was illness vs purposeful effort but either way I appreciate the concern. )
As for how much, I like to keep things vague. Like "oh I've gone down a few sizes but still working towards my goals". Gives them a sense of my success without any details I might be embarrassed to share.4 -
WhistlerToo wrote: »I have lost almost 70 and though I am uncomfortable with specifics, my weight loss is so noticeable that I hear complements at work a lot.
To whatever their complement or awkward statement is, I usually reply “Thanks—I’ve been working on it.”
The person usually then asks how much I’ve lost. I always reply “Not telling, but I really appreciate your encouragement.”
Why in the WORLD do people (not friends but just general co-workers) think asking how much you’ve lost is an appropriate question? Argh.
Just teasing here, but it's kinda funny how you start a post about not telling people how much you have lost with telling us how much you have lost! LOL! Joking aside, great job on the 70lbs!!2 -
I agree with just saying "thanks , I've been working at it". Especially since the first few people who asked me were concerned if I was sick or losing on purpose. (I was definately obese so not sure why their first thought was illness vs purposeful effort but either way I appreciate the concern. )
As for how much, I like to keep things vague. Like "oh I've gone down a few sizes but still working towards my goals". Gives them a sense of my success without any details I might be embarrassed to share.
‘Thanks so much, I’ve been working on it and have more to go but you are so nice to notice and say something, that makes me feel so good.’ Ending in that manner seems to shut down the how much, how long, how much more questions because I switch the topic to their being thoughtful and maybe that inhibits the snoopy follow ups?1 -
Compliments are nice, it’s surprising how many people comment on your weight loss. I work in retail and most of the customers have, in one way or another made some remark. Not always a compliment....oh don’t you’ve think you’ve taken it too far now, when are you going to put weight back on!0
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delisha527 wrote: »I’m sure people are starting to notice or have noticed your weight loss, when they have complimented you on it how do u respond. I’m a typically shy modest person and it seems like the more I lose the more people notice. I usually just say thank you but I’m uncomfortable saying how much I’ve lost and then I typically feel like their comparing my success with themselves idk I’m just curious on if others have the perfect speech for when friends coworkers and family compliment you on your weight loss
Just say "Thank you". If they press for specifics, answer however you are comfortable. I usually keep it slightly vague with answers like "somewhere around *insert number here*" and "3 dress sizes so far". If they want specific numbers on the actual weight amount, I say I am not really comfortable talking about that. If they ask for info on how I did it, I tell them the truth: I am eating less, moving more, and tracking it on MFP with a little help from my Vivofit.1 -
@sjsmith81, it never ceases to amaze me that people think that it's appropriate to say things like that. You would never, ever hear anyone say, "don't you think you've gotten fat enough?" At least I wouldn't expect to.2
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The workers at the rehab clinic I've been going to for supervised exercise classes just complimented me this morning on how much weight it looks like I lost. Being shy myself, I just smiled, nodded and pressed on.0
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I am definitely gonna try this defer tactic. People love compliments its time to share the wealth
And while I love people complimenting me on something I’m working very hard on I just feel like I’m being watched what I eat what if I gain will they notice? It’s all just making me paranoid
But it could be worse this is good attention!1 -
I just said thanks, what's for dinner, nice shoes, or where did you get that dress. It turned the conversation around nice and quick.
If asked how much I lost, in the U.K. I would tell them in pounds; in N America I tell them in stones. Confuses most enough to drop the conversation.
@Vonny198334 I have been maintaining a number of years now. Once people got use to me at the new weight the comments fell off within a couple of months. Don't let comments deter you, people get use to your new weigh.
Accept with grace and complement in return.
Cheers, h.5 -
I've been maintaining an 80 pound loss for over 4 years and as someone that doesn't like the spotlight, the compliments can get overwhelming.
The other day someone I met at a gala and didn't know my story said I looked so fit and asked me in front of a group of people I didn't know if I used to be a cheerleader. I was so embarrassed. lol
With those who knew me when I was bigger I usually I just say "thank you so much, I've worked really hard" - then I turn the subject back around on them, their kids, the weather. Anything! It usually works too.6 -
I hate compliments. I try to put on a smile and give them what they want. "Thanks! I'm down 110 lbs by using a cell phone app! I just kind of eat whatever and track the calories! Bye!" and then I go curl up in a ball and wish for death.5
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I wouldn't over think it. I'd respond as I would to any other sincere compliment with a "Thank you!". Nothing else needs to be said.1
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