being single sucks (sometimes)

inn0c3ntbbygrlx3
inn0c3ntbbygrlx3 Posts: 199
edited September 30 in Chit-Chat
ok so i have been single since december of last year, and its getting a bit old at this time, its been way to long, but yet alot has happened in the past year, they always say you marry your best friend or yada yada blah blah! well thats just crap! lol, i fell for my best friend, and we were doing good, but never went anything beyond friends, and then people ran their mouths at work which caused more stress and tension between us, and things have just plain out changed, because i backed off, but he had decided we would just be friends and nothing more, and it crushed me, but i slowly got over it and thought i just got tired of waiting for him to be ready that my feelings were going away...well now he is starting to fall in love with someone, and its crushing me, i still care about him and things have changed some what between us, but its hard fallin for someone and them saying they feel some what the same way and then a few months later because of people talking and spreading stuff at work just ruined it, ugh! im just tired of being single and i just want to be happy, i mean i should be happy as long as he's happy, but why am i happy but sad at the same time. ugh im so confused i hate it, why cant i just accept that were friends and thats it and move on!?!!? oh wait its cause i cant find anybody!!! ugh! smdh! lol

Replies

  • Kohadre
    Kohadre Posts: 316
    ok so i have been single since december of last year, and its getting a bit old at this time, its been way to long, but yet alot has happened in the past year, they always say you marry your best friend or yada yada blah blah! well thats just crap! lol, i fell for my best friend, and we were doing good, but never went anything beyond friends, and then people ran their mouths at work which caused more stress and tension between us, and things have just plain out changed, because i backed off, but he had decided we would just be friends and nothing more, and it crushed me, but i slowly got over it and thought i just got tired of waiting for him to be ready that my feelings were going away...well now he is starting to fall in love with someone, and its crushing me, i still care about him and things have changed some what between us, but its hard fallin for someone and them saying they feel some what the same way and then a few months later because of people talking and spreading stuff at work just ruined it, ugh! im just tired of being single and i just want to be happy, i mean i should be happy as long as he's happy, but why am i happy but sad at the same time. ugh im so confused i hate it, why cant i just accept that were friends and thats it and move on!?!!? oh wait its cause i cant find anybody!!! ugh! smdh! lol

    Yeah that does suck, but would you really want to be with someone that emotionally & mentally unstable in the long term (a.k.a they live their lives based on what others say)?

    I can't agree that being single sucks though lol, as I actually prefer it myself.
  • dstrbdangel
    dstrbdangel Posts: 29
    hey dont put urself down! sometimes u just gotta look at it different :) maybe ur too good for any of the jerks u know and u deserve better? he just hasnt come around yet :P
  • LovelySophiya
    LovelySophiya Posts: 104
    yes and it sucks more to like someone so much but they live so far away :cry: ends in heartbreak and tears
  • grouch201
    grouch201 Posts: 404 Member
    Matters of the heart are not controllable in most situations. Sometimes you can't help but feel a certain way and no amount of time apart or together will change it. I've kind of gone through a similar situation except we were both mega interested in the beginning, but then she backed off and we tried to do the friends thing, all the while me hoping for her to change her mind. Eventually the constant reminders from her about her dating other guys or just claiming to not be ready to date led me to say that it was impossible to be friends. Sometimes that's the reality and you have to cut the cord before you drive yourself crazy. Sometimes you just have to let go before you can move on. I won't say that special guy will come along when yous top looking because I don't believe it myself. Here's hoping for the best for both of us.
  • Newkell
    Newkell Posts: 379 Member
    Life is complicated. I am sorry for your pain. All I can suggest is to go about life enjoying the things that make you happy, work on yourself and one day you will be doing one of your happy activites and meet someone who is doing the same happy activity and wha la things will get better. Enjoy life, be who you are and the right person will see that and be attracted to you. Blessings to you :)
  • inn0c3ntbbygrlx3
    inn0c3ntbbygrlx3 Posts: 199
    yea its just hard to put your feelings aside, and a lot of people thought he was playing mind games with me, cause he would tell me these things and then after everyone running their mouths at work he decided it would be less stress on both of us if we just stayed friends, but im confused because we still hang out and do all these things, and yet were just friends, and his family loves me, and i help him watch his nephew and stuff and he stays at my house and wants us to do all these things but yet were just friends and hes fallin in love with someone....i just dont get it, im so confused, and sometimes being single sucks but doesnt suck at the same time, the times it sucks is when your lonely and want to cuddle and all that other stuff, sometimes the pillow just dont cut it hahahaha lol....and it also sucks when you see your friends so happy when their in a relationship and yet your all single and crap lol....but there are up sides to being single too....im just confused and i dont like it, i was fine til he went and said he was fallin in love with someone, and then all the feelings come back up, but i cant hate him for it, and i cant hold it against him...someday he might realize what he missed out on, who knows!! lol i sure dont!!!
    ok so i have been single since december of last year, and its getting a bit old at this time, its been way to long, but yet alot has happened in the past year, they always say you marry your best friend or yada yada blah blah! well thats just crap! lol, i fell for my best friend, and we were doing good, but never went anything beyond friends, and then people ran their mouths at work which caused more stress and tension between us, and things have just plain out changed, because i backed off, but he had decided we would just be friends and nothing more, and it crushed me, but i slowly got over it and thought i just got tired of waiting for him to be ready that my feelings were going away...well now he is starting to fall in love with someone, and its crushing me, i still care about him and things have changed some what between us, but its hard fallin for someone and them saying they feel some what the same way and then a few months later because of people talking and spreading stuff at work just ruined it, ugh! im just tired of being single and i just want to be happy, i mean i should be happy as long as he's happy, but why am i happy but sad at the same time. ugh im so confused i hate it, why cant i just accept that were friends and thats it and move on!?!!? oh wait its cause i cant find anybody!!! ugh! smdh! lol

    Yeah that does suck, but would you really want to be with someone that emotionally & mentally unstable in the long term (a.k.a they live their lives based on what others say)?

    I can't agree that being single sucks though lol, as I actually prefer it myself.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    he wasn't the right guy- now you're free for when the right guy comes along. I LIKE being single, it has a lot of perks.
  • NyxDominique
    NyxDominique Posts: 271 Member
    Its funny. I absolutely hated being single when I was. I was single for about a year and a half before my met my current boyfriend.

    After I started to date him I found myself saying "It is so much simplar being single"

    Right now just focus on you. Your goals, and get your life going where you want to.

    I used the oppertunity of being single to go back to school. To try to better myself. (at the time I said I was going to meet people) but after I got to the campus and started to take classes. I genienely realized I wanted to be there. I loved study medicine. Now, I am looking forward to going back in Sept!

    When you have someone else in your life they aren't always understand of your situtation. Like I right now I am fighting with my current boyfriend regarding weight loss. I want to better myself, but he says there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way I look. It is great to have supportive people and someone in your life. But they don't always make things easier for you.
  • inn0c3ntbbygrlx3
    inn0c3ntbbygrlx3 Posts: 199
    that does sound like our situation, at first i was interested and told him i was and then he became interested but we never dated cause he wasnt ready for a relationship mentally, we do fine being friends, but its hard to know he is moving on. and ive backed off hoping that would make him realize i didnt care anymore and things like that, but i guess that didnt work, i always said i would be mad if he dated someone else because it wasnt fair to me that hes known how i felt for so long and never gave me the chance...but i recently told him i could care less....i dont know its just so darn confusing!!!!!!!! im not a very optimistic person, so i highly doubt ill ever find someone, ill be that lil old lady with 27 cats yelling at the kids to get off her lawn!!!!! lol lmfao!!
    Matters of the heart are not controllable in most situations. Sometimes you can't help but feel a certain way and no amount of time apart or together will change it. I've kind of gone through a similar situation except we were both mega interested in the beginning, but then she backed off and we tried to do the friends thing, all the while me hoping for her to change her mind. Eventually the constant reminders from her about her dating other guys or just claiming to not be ready to date led me to say that it was impossible to be friends. Sometimes that's the reality and you have to cut the cord before you drive yourself crazy. Sometimes you just have to let go before you can move on. I won't say that special guy will come along when yous top looking because I don't believe it myself. Here's hoping for the best for both of us.
  • leslyta
    leslyta Posts: 70
    Being single does feel like it sucks.. Im on the same page.. married my best friend, and then he cheated on me so I tried to forgive him and be friends but I just couldnt move on from the fact that he cheated w one of my closest friends.. So now i'm divorced, I've made sooo many friends since then, I learned how to have fun again. I do miss having that one person to talk to and cuddle with, but since we broke up, I'm only thinking ab myself, trying to become a better person, and get healthier. Thinking ab him only hurts me more and I'm sure you dont feel so good thinking ab that guy either! Use this time to have fun and focus on yourself and what you want out of your life. Dont try to jump into a new relationship bc it doesnt ever work..
  • inn0c3ntbbygrlx3
    inn0c3ntbbygrlx3 Posts: 199
    yes i have decided to go back to school this fall, im trying to focus on myself, but im so used to putting other people before me and putting their feelings first and always putting myself on the back burner, that the feelings i thought were gone have come back, and its just hard, i dont think its the fact that im single i think its the fact that i was head over heels for this guy and was never given the chance and now someone else has come along!
    Its funny. I absolutely hated being single when I was. I was single for about a year and a half before my met my current boyfriend.

    After I started to date him I found myself saying "It is so much simplar being single"

    Right now just focus on you. Your goals, and get your life going where you want to.

    I used the oppertunity of being single to go back to school. To try to better myself. (at the time I said I was going to meet people) but after I got to the campus and started to take classes. I genienely realized I wanted to be there. I loved study medicine. Now, I am looking forward to going back in Sept!

    When you have someone else in your life they aren't always understand of your situtation. Like I right now I am fighting with my current boyfriend regarding weight loss. I want to better myself, but he says there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way I look. It is great to have supportive people and someone in your life. But they don't always make things easier for you.
  • _gwen
    _gwen Posts: 501 Member
    I LIKE being single, it has a lot of perks.

    Damn straight! :tongue:

    No arguing about who put the empty carton back in the fridge.
  • inn0c3ntbbygrlx3
    inn0c3ntbbygrlx3 Posts: 199
    i think my problem is, we hang out and do all this stuff and i was fine til i found out he was fallin in love with someone, but he wont say who, so thats why im confused lol...but im trying not to focus on that, and just keep our friendship strong and be there for him like i have been and like a best friend should be. and if it doesnt work out with him and whoever ill be there for him as a friend and i guess i just have to keep the new found patience that ive found this year with him and use it to wait and continue to wait for someone to come along, and be optimistic that someone awesome will come along and sweep me off my feet. maybe its cause im not skinny enough for him or dont look good enough or whatever who knows....but if he cant have me at my worst then he cant have me at my best, if he cant have me now then he cant have me when im a hot skinny mini!!! lol
    Being single does feel like it sucks.. Im on the same page.. married my best friend, and then he cheated on me so I tried to forgive him and be friends but I just couldnt move on from the fact that he cheated w one of my closest friends.. So now i'm divorced, I've made sooo many friends since then, I learned how to have fun again. I do miss having that one person to talk to and cuddle with, but since we broke up, I'm only thinking ab myself, trying to become a better person, and get healthier. Thinking ab him only hurts me more and I'm sure you dont feel so good thinking ab that guy either! Use this time to have fun and focus on yourself and what you want out of your life. Dont try to jump into a new relationship bc it doesnt ever work..
  • inn0c3ntbbygrlx3
    inn0c3ntbbygrlx3 Posts: 199
    hahahahaha lol yes single life does have a lot of perks, i guess i should of titled this differently cause all ive been doing is complaining about the best friend and not the being single, but i guess ya just get lonely sometimes, ugh im so confused! lol and i live with my parents and i still dont argue over who put the empty carton back in the fridge, cause they always know it was me that emptied it and threw it away hahahhaha lol
    I LIKE being single, it has a lot of perks.

    Damn straight! :tongue:

    No arguing about who put the empty carton back in the fridge.
  • inn0c3ntbbygrlx3
    inn0c3ntbbygrlx3 Posts: 199
    your right and thanks for the encouraging words!
    hey dont put urself down! sometimes u just gotta look at it different :) maybe ur too good for any of the jerks u know and u deserve better? he just hasnt come around yet :P
  • inn0c3ntbbygrlx3
    inn0c3ntbbygrlx3 Posts: 199
    i completely know what ya mean!
    yes and it sucks more to like someone so much but they live so far away :cry: ends in heartbreak and tears
  • HollieDoodles
    HollieDoodles Posts: 678 Member
    Yep.... I'm trying not to think about it, because I'm in school and don't have enough time to devote to someone, because I'm also a single mom to two teen boys. I don't really plan to date for a while, but it's hard. Especially if you might be somewhat interested in someone.

    Whatever :ohwell:
  • Qhoney24
    Qhoney24 Posts: 31
    I am going through the same thing about being single and losing someone that you gave so much to. It is hard to deal with trust me but all i can do is pray and keep god first. I had a great job when i met him but it did keep me from being around like a normal person and i walked away from that job after a year with him. I have great support from my dear two friends but even with that its still hard, so prayer is all i have. I cant say that i have words from the wise here for you because i dont. All i can give you in words is to keep praying till he heals the hurt and believe in your faith and yes its going to be alot of work for you, trust in yourself and know that letting go of the pain and forgiving him frees up for you to be blessed in so many ways. Not knowing if he will come around once he realize this isnt what is suppose to happen but when you see him at work just speak to him and keep it moving dont spark no convo with him. Once you feel good about yourself and it shows i know for a fact he will think twice about what he did, it never fails for both sex. It always happen that way lol.. the way of the world. But i pray things work out for you because real true feelings never dies, Remember that :)
  • Riebop
    Riebop Posts: 275
    I'm not single, and haven't been for a looooong time. I will say that I did marry my best friend. However, he wasn't my best friend when we started dating. Our relationship went from awkward first date to "there's no one else I want to share my whole life and dirty secrets with."

    This guy obviously doesn't deserve you. Reading what you wrote it sounds like you're the backup.... It seems like he's saying all the right things to keep you around just in case. Make a clean break and find someone who wants to be with you and doesn't play games. Life's too shoort for that BS.
  • shiggyshane
    shiggyshane Posts: 215
    yeah being single can suck and i feel you pain but you have to look at it this way when your looking for it you never find it
    you have to just let it happen...
  • brattyworm
    brattyworm Posts: 2,137 Member
    hahahahaha lol yes single life does have a lot of perks, i guess i should of titled this differently cause all ive been doing is complaining about the best friend and not the being single, but i guess ya just get lonely sometimes, ugh im so confused! lol and i live with my parents and i still dont argue over who put the empty carton back in the fridge, cause they always know it was me that emptied it and threw it away hahahhaha lol


    having someone doesn't necessarily cure the lonely... I can't tell you how many nights I wish my husband wasn't so far away or when he was here that he worked a normal shift so i could spend time with him... so even though you're best friend doesn't have romantic feeling towards you enjoy the things you do together. i did get to marry my best friend but job requirements require him to not be here and while i wouldn't change any of it for anything, it sure would be nice to be able to spend time with him thats not through a computer. thats the thing i miss the most, just going out to grab dinner or taking the dog for a walk, or hell holding hands while walking into the grocery store...
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