advice for overweight children

ChanMay
ChanMay Posts: 39
edited September 30 in Health and Weight Loss
Even though I am trying to become healthier for me, it is also for my children. I have been a very bad role model and unfortuantely our 8 year old daughter is now suffering because of it. She is not obese but defintely heavier than she should be for her size. When I took her school shopping this morning, none of the jeans fit her properly. I could see the pain and frustration in her eyes. I know that feeling all too well.
I need to get her in a healthier position. I want to change this for her before it affects her self esteem. My problem is, I am scared of failing her, I am still learning so much about nutrition myself. I don't know when to tell her she has eaten enough. What if I make her afraid of food?? I want to do this in a way that she is becoming healthier, feeling better but I do not want her to feel as though she is on a "diet" She already hears so that talk outside the house that I do not want talk of diets and getting skinny... arond here.
If anyone has any advice, please feel free to share.

Replies

  • Pam3
    Pam3 Posts: 1,687 Member
    bump
  • CassieLEO
    CassieLEO Posts: 757 Member
    What about filling her up on veggies such as stirfrys or grilled veggies and proteins. Cut out the heavy starchy foods like pastas, rices and potatoes. She may hem and haw about it for a while, but if she doesnt have those options, she will eventually have to get used to this way of eating. Tell her that mommy is working on getting extra healthy and strong and that everyone should be healthy and strong. DOnt make it about dieting at all. Just make it about being healthy and strong. There is NOTHING wrong with teaching her something like that. Then start taking her on walks with you, or to go swimming. Even enroll her in a gymnastics program. My daughter was getting chunky so I told her that I wanted to take Zumba but I didnt have any friends in the class and I was nervous and wanted her to be my Zumba Partner, now we go 5 days a week together. Also, a helpful tip I have for you is invest ina george foreman grill, those things are AWESOME for grilling tasty veggies and meats.
  • MzMiller1215
    MzMiller1215 Posts: 633 Member
    I would suggest simply cooking healthier alternatives such as having 2 vegetables with a meat for dinner instead of a meat, starch and vegetable or brown rice instead of macaroni and cheese. I made that change and my sons didn't notice the difference, or at least they haven't said anything. I also stopped buying junk foods. Instead, I bought Fig Newtons, Light Butter Popcorn and tons of fresh fruit which, they actually enjoy. Another way to cut their calorie intake is to eliminate sodas and juice. We only drink water in my house. For the most part, you can control what your daughter eats. Don't worry too much about how much; focus more on the health factor.
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    Don't ever use the word "DIET". Tell her all of you are going to start eating healthier. Watch PORTIONS and look for healthy recipes for kids online. Cut all Fast Foods and watch processed too. Bake instead of fry. Chicken fingers are great if you use egg whites instead of whole eggs and just DUST them with breadcrumbs and bake. Watch the dipping sauce! Give them a serving and make them stick to it. If they are not vegetable eaters. Grind them up and add them to ground chicken or turkey and make meatballs. Instead of a plate of speghetti make everyone an oz as a side not the whole meal. Add a salad or vegetable. Watch red meats especially ground beef. If you make mac and cheese ( homemade) use whole wheat pasta or gluten free and cut the cheese in half and use butternut squash (frozen) they can't tell. Watch the salt! Cut out sugary drinks. If you give them 100% juice, cut it with 1/2 water. You could make popsicles with it too. Low fat Popcorn and grapes or cut veggies and little ( 1 tbls )ranch dressing for dipping, Cut berries topped with 2 oz. of low fat yogurt. The key is to give them the food they like but in a healthier way and cut portion size. Light Bread is great for sandwiches. But watch the processed cheese and high fat, sodium meats. Scrambled egg with 1 whole and 1/ 4 cup of egg whites, sprinkled with a little low fat bacon bits instead of whole bacon on the side. Cut sugary cereals with 1/2 of what they like and half low sugar. Do a family walk.
    My grandson is going through the same thing. My daughter had him at the doctors yesterday and they are doing blood work to make sure there is not any health issues first and then they are seeing a nutritionist.

    The mypyramid.gov had a site like this for kids. They can track just like us but it's fun. Here is the site. Cut and paste. http://www.choosemyplate.gov/kids/kids_game.html
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
    what about taking her to a pediatrician, and see what they can tell you..since she is still a child " diets " that young can be tough on everyone, especially her..see what the dr. says in a way that is healthier for children..i really don't know what to say..best of luck to you both, i hope you can find something that works:flowerforyou:
  • WiiFitFan
    WiiFitFan Posts: 156 Member
    Congratulations on starting a new healthier lifestyle for you and your daughter! Take it one day at a time gradually adding small changes. Add more fruit and vegetables. Try a new one every week that you haven't tried before. Make a game out of it. Limit sodas and sweets to be a once in awhile treat, not a daily thing. Use the palm of your hand as a guide for healthy portions. Drink lots of water and skim milk. Go for walks together. It is a great time to talk about your day. Gradually walk farther each time. Before you know it, you will both be healthier with good eating and exercise habits!
  • frenchprairiegirl
    frenchprairiegirl Posts: 173 Member
    Have you spoken with her pediatrician? Children are always moving therefore do require a lot of healthy nutrition to keep their energy levels up however their stomachs are small. They don't need huge meals, just more frequent smaller ones. We are always being told to eat 4-6 smaller well balanced meals per day to keep our metabolisms revving, same hold true for our little ones.

    Have her join you on your journey to good health and active living. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle. Go out for walks together, play sports together in a park or the back yard and include her in meal planning and preparation.
    It's also a great way to spend time together!
  • TheMrsBee
    TheMrsBee Posts: 226 Member
    I don't have any children but i do watch a lot of TV. And a couple of my fiends on here have kids and they join in with their parents exercise - making it fun. You could go to the park and say we are having a pic nic and some fun and play tag or throw a ball around?

    During pic nics you could take things like cut up carrots/ celery/ boiled potatoes, salads (fortunate considering it's summer now) and with evening meals why don't you just dish out smaller portions and if she is still hungry after 20-30 minutes she can then have a dessert (low fat jelly, or a scoop of vanilla ice ice cream) get her into activities to get her mind of food and the things that in the media.

    I really hope this helps, and good luck with improving your health xx
  • MzMiller1215
    MzMiller1215 Posts: 633 Member
    What about filling her up on veggies such as stirfrys or grilled veggies and proteins. Cut out the heavy starchy foods like pastas, rices and potatoes. She may hem and haw about it for a while, but if she doesnt have those options, she will eventually have to get used to this way of eating. Tell her that mommy is working on getting extra healthy and strong and that everyone should be healthy and strong. DOnt make it about dieting at all. Just make it about being healthy and strong. There is NOTHING wrong with teaching her something like that. Then start taking her on walks with you, or to go swimming. Even enroll her in a gymnastics program. My daughter was getting chunky so I told her that I wanted to take Zumba but I didnt have any friends in the class and I was nervous and wanted her to be my Zumba Partner, now we go 5 days a week together. Also, a helpful tip I have for you is invest ina george foreman grill, those things are AWESOME for grilling tasty veggies and meats.

    Cassie, that is exactly what I said to my sons and it was the truth!! I am more concerned about them eating healthy than being thin. Not that they have that problem now but, if they continue to have bad eating habits, it carry on with them when they become adults.
  • ChaseAlder
    ChaseAlder Posts: 804 Member
    If it were me I'd do these things:

    - Make a list of the foods (mostly fruits and veggies) that she can eat as much as she wants!
    - Make a list of foods that should be eaten in moderation, but don't call them "bad" foods... just call them "sweets, etc."
    - Do a fun experiment with serving size (a guessing game, maybe)
    - Let her portion out the food herself, telling her what a portion size is. It might be fun to count out Goldfish crackers or something like that.
    - Make her a little food pyramid chart (I hear it looks like a plate now) and have her fill each section with the appropriate types of foods.
    - Involve her in cooking healthier things.... kids are more likely to eat something they've helped cook.
    - Let her help choose the menu.
    - Keep foods you don't want her to have out of the shopping cart/pantry. If she asks why it's not there, just say you're trying something new this week.
    - Exercise! Do some exercise as a family/pair. Make an evening walk or bike ride part of your routine. Don't force her to do exercise she doesn't enjoy because she won't get anything out of it if she's bored or if it's too hard.

    Just some ideas!
  • jmcholden
    jmcholden Posts: 20 Member
    In our house, we try to only have healthy food, and healthy snacks. That way my kids can eat as much as they want with only healthy results. Or I will tell my kids you can have 1 cookie, and all the carrots, and apples you want.

    No chips, no fruit snacks, no soda for our kids.

    It is important for kids to not be hungry. So you set them up to succeed if you provide healthy choices. (just like you do for yourself).

    Also my kids are not allowed to eat within 1 1/2 hours of dinner- otherwise they are not hungry for dinner. Then dinner is protein packed, plus lots of veggies, and often a salad. That way they get nice and full, but also developing healthy habits.

    I give my kids instant breakfast (they call it chocolate milk) in the morning with thier breakfast. It helps them stay full, and get lots of protein before they start their day.

    I hope that helps.
  • schnarfo
    schnarfo Posts: 764 Member
    I think just changing the whole way your family eats and when she asks why you explain its because your getting healthier as a family. She doesnt need to know the ins and outs of nutrition at 8 but be educated to making good choices for herself as she gets older. I wouldnt mention diets or fat/calorie content of food, nothing for her to get hung up on. Just enjoy time as a family at meal times.
    Also find some exercise you both enjoy or she enjoys to get her active. Again this could be an ideal opportunity for family time - like going to the park together or swimming. Some gyms offer family classes in things like zumba or karate - might be fun to both learn something completely new and different. Or just go for hikes, getting active doesnt have to cost a fortune.

    Good luck and well done, your an inspiration to many by making this journey with your family. x
  • ChanMay
    ChanMay Posts: 39
    Thank you eveyone. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I truly appreciate that no one judged me. Lots of good ideas! As awful as it sounds, I wasn't thinking of the drinks either. Since I was giving her real fruit juice, I thought it was ok, when I just compared the sugar content to a bottle of pop, it was the same! What an eye opener!!!
  • Don't put her on a "diet." Instead, give her better food choices. Fish, chicken, veggies in unlimited amounts. Whole grains instead of white bread and potatoes. Fruits instead of candy. No soda. Limit juice. Encourage her to be more physically active--go for walks together. As a kid, my best memories of bonding with my mother were when we used to walk together, just the two of us. For those few minutes a day, I was the center of attention, and I loved that. We talked about everything, and it meant the world to me. With two younger sisters, I didn't get her undivided attention often, and I cherished it. Other ways to encourage exercise: bicycle. Wii games. Anything that needs movement. Do a home kareoke night, but dance with each song. Try to find ways to have fun together that involve movement. Get her involved in the cooking, too, if she has any interest. If she's involved in making healthy food, she's far more likely to enjoy eating it, and take pride in feeding it to her loved ones.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
    I agree with the suggestions to just cook healthier meals and not keep junk in the house. Also, model good healthful habits so she understands WHY these are better food choices. My kids are younger than your daughter, and not overweight, but I've been concerned about not giving them a complex about food. So I talk about healthy foods, and why they're healthy -- not because of being low-calorie, or not making you fat, but because of the good vitamins and minerals and fiber and protein that are in them. I talk about how it's ok to have candy and junk once in a while, but too much of it can make your body not feel good. I talk about how exercise makes you strong and feel good and full of energy. I talk about how we need to drink lots of water because it makes your blood work better, and it's ok to have juice sometimes, but juice has sugar and too much sugar can make you not feel good, so we only have juice sometimes. I put it in these healthy terms instead of talking about weight, because I don't want them focusing on fat at their age. Or ever, really. I haven't once mentioned that I'm trying to lose weight in front of them. And now, 6 months into it, they're starting to want those healthy foods instead of junk because they want to be strong. They want to exercise with me so they can be strong and healthy. They're focusing on the right things. Don't talk about losing weight with your daughter -- she won't understand the health implications of losing those pounds, and she'll have the wrong focus. Instead, just talk about health and how those healthy foods and exercise make us feel better and keep from getting sick, and help us do the things we want to do like playing Frisbee or baseball or whatever it is she likes to do. :)
  • cornerofgreystreet
    cornerofgreystreet Posts: 180 Member
    This post was filled with good ideas. I just wanted to say that I applaud you for wanting to do the right thing for your daughter. She is lucky to have a mom that cares about her well being so much.

    Another rule that we have in our house is when your belly is full, you stop. This is something that I never really learned as a child. I do not make my kids finish everything on their plate, nor do I use dessert as an incentive to finish their food. I dish out smaller portions and when they are full, they are allowed to be done. I am sure there have been times when they have conveniently been too full to finish their veggies, but I try to keep the big picture in mind.

    I think one of the best things you can do is to model good behavior for your daughter, if she sees you eating healthy and enjoying exercise she will be more likely to follow suit. Remind her she is beautiful and healthy, strong and perfect the way she is.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    Get her active with you. Go on walks together, ride bikes together, roller blade TOGETHER. My mom and I live states away from each other but we're doing this together (Hey Mom!) and it has been good for our (already good) relationship.

    Don't make it about losing weight, make it about being together, doing something together, being active together. Sign (her) up for an intramural sports team and go to the practices, take her to a class at the gym with you.

    Get her involved in the kitchen. Have her pick out veggies at the grocery store (spaghettie squash is awesome and really fun to 'try'), make dinner together and teach healthy cooking/eating/portions.

    Play games and make it fun, never make it about losing weight. She's a kid, make it about being with you, and being healthy, happy and comfortable and you being a part of that journey.
  • catmom2cj
    catmom2cj Posts: 47 Member
    I have a son that is pretty chunky . I agree with everyone's suggestions of adding more fruits and vegetables and exercise. I have spoke to my pediatrician and his number one rule was NO second plates.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member

    Another rule that we have in our house is when your belly is full, you stop. This is something that I never really learned as a child. I do not make my kids finish everything on their plate, nor do I use dessert as an incentive to finish their food. I dish out smaller portions and when they are full, they are allowed to be done. I am sure there have been times when they have conveniently been too full to finish their veggies, but I try to keep the big picture in mind.

    We do this too, with one exception. We have picky eaters, so I do require that they take one bite of everything on their plate. I don't put anything on their plates that I know they hate, but if it's a new food or something they've eaten and enjoyed before, they do try one bite of everything before they can be done. And even if they SAY they don't like it, I can generally tell by their reaction whether they actually hate it or not -- if they make a face, they don't like it. If they just say the words, then they just don't want to eat any more of it right now, but they don't hate it, so I'll offer it again next time I make it. It's opened them up to new foods, and has helped with getting them to try healthier options. So to the OP, if your daughter is a picky eater, that's something to consider trying. She doesn't have to clean her plate, but she does need to try everything.
  • inotnew
    inotnew Posts: 218 Member
    I would call her doctor, my daughter's doctor found a program in our area that helped A LOT. This program talked about healthy food choices, eating breakfast every day, exercising, portion control, what is a "treat", and some of the feelings associated with being overweight. Or try the YMCA/YWCA they might have something.
  • erica79
    erica79 Posts: 242 Member
    I'm having similar issues with my 8 year old son. Thank you all for your suggestions. There are some great ideas out there.
    Keep them coming!
  • mlemonroe2
    mlemonroe2 Posts: 603
    Another rule that we have in our house is when your belly is full, you stop. This is something that I never really learned as a child. I do not make my kids finish everything on their plate, nor do I use dessert as an incentive to finish their food. I dish out smaller portions and when they are full, they are allowed to be done. I am sure there have been times when they have conveniently been too full to finish their veggies, but I try to keep the big picture in mind.

    I think one of the best things you can do is to model good behavior for your daughter, if she sees you eating healthy and enjoying exercise she will be more likely to follow suit. Remind her she is beautiful and healthy, strong and perfect the way she is.

    I agree with this. I read in my parents magazine that you should never make your kids eat everything on their plate, just tell them eat as much as you want of dinner (of course it should be healthy) and there is dessert after. You should never say "eat this and you get dessert" becasue it teaches them the meal is the part to "get through" and the dessert is the good stuff. I thought that was very smart. Also, nothing will benefit her more that a good role model, and it looks like you are on the right track there. Good luck!
  • Wow..This is a biggy. I know here we don't have a lot of junk food in the house. When it's not here Jayden doesn't ask for it. Feed her the way you eat when your eating healthy. She's still a little bundle of energy so an extra bit of good for her food is ok. When she's full..she'll stop. You shouldn't stop the girls from having candy but monitor it. We tell Jayden that it 's bad for her weight. She never has to know that she shouldn't eat too much because it'll make her fat. They don't have to know that...That will in the long run make them afraid of food and your right. You don't want that. Take the girls on a nice evening walk with you. That will not only help them with the fitness issue..it will give the 3 of you some great bonding time. Remember..If you just gave the girls one brownie..It's ok to say no more. I buy baby carrots and we love to snack on them. Chantal..this is trial and error..You know what to do and what not to do. Also Maddie is old enough so that you can talk to her about food..Talk to her about good and bad choices and that it's ok to have that piece of candy every now and then. Talk to them..Follow your heart. The right words will come out. But the best way to teach them is to lead by example..Let them see how good you feel after you eat an apple instead of a candy bar. Good luck.
    xoxoxox:smile:
  • You got some great advice Chantal...See,people do care
  • GooBeGone
    GooBeGone Posts: 439 Member
    make sure u use say that the family is eatin healthier, not that u're on a diet.

    so the word of the day is:

    HEALTHY, HEALTHY, HEALTHY!! :flowerforyou:
  • ChanMay
    ChanMay Posts: 39
    Thank you again everyone!! Wondering advice and great things to try. This afternoon is grocery day so instead of putting eveything in the cart with her following along, I am going to take the great advice of asking her ti help out and pick things out she would like to try :) I don't tend to involve the kids in the groceries/food preparation so that will be my first big step!
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