Would you be annoyed if someone points out your 5-10 punds weight gain?
Tanie98
Posts: 675 Member
I'm 5'3 and I have gained less than 10 pounds. I used to weigh 122 lbs and now up to 127.I'm pear shaped so a mall amount of weight gained shows.
With that being said, yesterday I was waiting for a shift to start and this co worker from different departments was like "you gained weight!. I responded and said "I don't need you to tell me that" Then she was like oh no you still look good.You don't have belly..when some people gain it goes into their belly.You put on little bit.
I brushed it off but I was annoyed that she felt the need to point that out. Now my weight always fluctuate and I'm constantly dealing with people at work pointing that out anytime my weight goes up or down. Should I address this to HR?
With that being said, yesterday I was waiting for a shift to start and this co worker from different departments was like "you gained weight!. I responded and said "I don't need you to tell me that" Then she was like oh no you still look good.You don't have belly..when some people gain it goes into their belly.You put on little bit.
I brushed it off but I was annoyed that she felt the need to point that out. Now my weight always fluctuate and I'm constantly dealing with people at work pointing that out anytime my weight goes up or down. Should I address this to HR?
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Replies
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Seems like a bit of an over reaction to tell HR IMO.
You're annoyed cos you gained weight, she just pointed it out, don't take it out on her!17 -
I'd start by very explicitly asking people not to comment on my weight whenever it happens. One would think "I don't need you to tell me that" would be enough of a hint, but some people are really clueless. And rude.10
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I'm 5'3 and I have gained less than 10 pounds. I used to weigh 122 lbs and now up to 127.I'm pear shaped so a mall amount of weight gained shows.
With that being said, yesterday I was waiting for a shift to start and this co worker from different departments was like "you gained weight!. I responded and said "I don't need you to tell me that" Then she was like oh no you still look good.You don't have belly..when some people gain it goes into their belly.You put on little bit.
I brushed it off but I was annoyed that she felt the need to point that out. Now my weight always fluctuate and I'm constantly dealing with people at work pointing that out anytime my weight goes up or down. Should I address this to HR?
I think it's rude to comment on people's weight either way but taking it to HR is way over the top. Comments that annoy you usually don't equal harassment, especially one-offs.
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@TavistockToad.I'm annoyed that she pointed it out.She didn't have to.My weight is nobody's business but mine4
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Sounds like the co-worker meant it as a compliment. Take it as such. Don't be annoyed with other people because of your own insecurities and/or self-criticisms. And even if they didn't, you can't report every jerk to HR. HR doesn't care. Insults =/= harassment.6
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Maybe she blurted it out without thinking....she might be very embarrassed of her behavior. I don't think you need to involve HR unless it happens again. Have you spoken to HR about the others who feel the need to point out your weight fluctuations?3
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That is kinda rude, but not HR-worthy. If she was actually harassing you about it, then sure, but she just made one passing comment.
Unfortunately with us petite ladies, the extra few pounds makes a big difference. I am 5’3” and started my weight loss journey once I hit 127lbs as well. I am now down to 112, but or course nobody seems to comment on weight loss!4 -
Some people find a small weight gain for someone "pear shaped" to be attractive (I would). Perhaps lighten up a bit. at your height/weight your nowhere near "fat", you are going between a bit more and a bit less "vavoom" so to speak.5
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I wanted to talk to HR in regards of everyone commenting on my weight fluctuations, not just her because it happens all the time1
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@TavistockToad.I'm annoyed that she pointed it out.She didn't have to.My weight is nobody's business but mine
Then speak to HR1 -
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TavistockToad wrote: »@TavistockToad.I'm annoyed that she pointed it out.She didn't have to.My weight is nobody's business but mine
Then speak to HR
I wouldnt until you talked to the people first...your all adults.7 -
I wanted to talk to HR in regards of everyone commenting on my weight fluctuations, not just her because it happens all the time
I find this very hard to believe unless you are always talking about weight, food, diet, etc.
People make that part of your identity when you talk about it. Find other interesting things about which to talk, then if they bring up your weight tell them, "I'd appreciate you not commenting about my body, thanks."
...and change the subject. "How about them Yankees?" (baseball is safe)
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If you're reasonably sure they are commenting to be intentionally hurtful, then say something to HR if you want. If you don't know, if there is any chance they are being complimentary, then you need to say something to them, first. You're by no means heavy (based on your stats), so it's entirely possible that they think a little more weight on you is a good thing. So again, you need to figure out if the issue is your own insecurities or their intentional hurtfulness. Depending on which one it is, the appropriate response is very different.3
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I wanted to talk to HR in regards of everyone commenting on my weight fluctuations, not just her because it happens all the time
Seriously? What sorts of idiots do you work with, then?
In all of the places I've worked over the past 15 years, I can count on one hand the number of times someone commented on my weight -- and all of those were in the context of "Are you doing OK? You've lost weight." or "You're so active, no wonder you're small!"
Not to victim blame... but what's the context? Do people in your workplace really just comment on weight gains as everyday conversation? Or are you all talking about fitness/diet/etc,?
What do you think going to HR would accomplish?11 -
TavistockToad wrote: »
No I have not.I put on 30 pounds 2 years ago after I stopped working out and over eating. Of course I had several people at work commented on how much weight I gained. I decided to go back to gym after I couldn't fit into my skinny jeans anymore .As soon as the weight loss started to show, people started complimenting on how I'm losing weight again.I didn't mind at first but it got a point where some started saying "you're getting too skinny coments,Don't lose anymore. "your face is getting gaunt "Some even said I looked better thick.One even said "I'm going to break if I don't stop losing
I prefer being slim so once I reached my goal weight I was happy with it regardless of the coments. I put few pounds back on for the last few months because I haven't been as active as I used to due to insomnia/change in sleeping patterns so I'm always tired
I'm just annoyed in general because I'm constantly dealing with comments of my weight fluctuations at my workplace. I feel like commenting on someone weight at work place should be forbidden IMO1 -
I understand that it would be annoying, but I can’t imagine an HR department getting involved. They made a comment but it’s not harassment, or anything that could be construed as much (from what you wrote).
I also can’t imagine it happening all the time? If so, I’d let the commenters know you don’t like constant comments about your weight. People are going to make comments and do inappropriate things on occasion, you have to handle it. And it’s only 5 lbs, I also can’t imagine they were trying to be hurtful because no matter what height you are, that just isn’t much. I’m sure you look just fine?1 -
Gracie12311 wrote: »I understand that it would be annoying, but I can’t imagine an HR department getting involved. They made a comment but it’s not harassment, or anything that could be construed as much (from what you wrote).
I also can’t imagine it happening all the time? If so, I’d let the commenters know you don’t like constant comments about your weight. People are going to make comments and do inappropriate things on occasion, you have to handle it. And it’s only 5 lbs, I also can’t imagine they were trying to be hurtful because no matter what height you are, that just isn’t much. I’m sure you look just fine?
This....
I would start replying with 'yeah you look like you've gained weight too...' if these aren't friends of yours.6 -
collectingblues wrote: »I wanted to talk to HR in regards of everyone commenting on my weight fluctuations, not just her because it happens all the time
Seriously? What sorts of idiots do you work with, then?
In all of the places I've worked over the past 15 years, I can count on one hand the number of times someone commented on my weight -- and all of those were in the context of "Are you doing OK? You've lost weight." or "You're so active, no wonder you're small!"
Not to victim blame... but what's the context? Do people in your workplace really just comment on weight gains as everyday conversation? Or are you all talking about fitness/diet/etc,?
What do you think going to HR would accomplish?
I never discuss my fitness/diets unless people asked how I was losing weight.I see it happeing to some people too.One lady told this other lady that she was getting chubby. Another one told someone else she gained weight in staff room full of people.Remarkably ,the lady was cool about it and said"yep I gained 10 pounds". When I questioned the lady who had made the coment,she just said it's a normal thing their culture to comment on someone's weight gain. So I don't know if some people are just clueless
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collectingblues wrote: »I wanted to talk to HR in regards of everyone commenting on my weight fluctuations, not just her because it happens all the time
Seriously? What sorts of idiots do you work with, then?
In all of the places I've worked over the past 15 years, I can count on one hand the number of times someone commented on my weight -- and all of those were in the context of "Are you doing OK? You've lost weight." or "You're so active, no wonder you're small!"
Not to victim blame... but what's the context? Do people in your workplace really just comment on weight gains as everyday conversation? Or are you all talking about fitness/diet/etc,?
What do you think going to HR would accomplish?
I never discuss my fitness/diets unless people asked how I was losing weight.I see it happeing to some people too.One lady told this other lady that she was getting chubby. Another one told someone else she gained weight in staff room full of people.Remarkably ,the lady was cool about it and said"yep I gained 10 pounds". When I questioned the lady who had made the coment,she just said it's a normal thing their culture to comment on someone's weight gain. So I don't know if some people are just clueless
Which culture is that?3 -
Look for a new job, with a higher pay. Best way out.3
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for a different take on a condescending remark....turn it into what they said as a "compliment" and say "thank you" and move on to 'how 'bout them Yankees."
If they REALLLY wish to dwell on your body, then be up front and say "my body is not up for discussion, you need to stop."
if you decide to speak with H.R., the first thing they will do is ask if you told them to stop.
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TavistockToad wrote: »collectingblues wrote: »I wanted to talk to HR in regards of everyone commenting on my weight fluctuations, not just her because it happens all the time
Seriously? What sorts of idiots do you work with, then?
In all of the places I've worked over the past 15 years, I can count on one hand the number of times someone commented on my weight -- and all of those were in the context of "Are you doing OK? You've lost weight." or "You're so active, no wonder you're small!"
Not to victim blame... but what's the context? Do people in your workplace really just comment on weight gains as everyday conversation? Or are you all talking about fitness/diet/etc,?
What do you think going to HR would accomplish?
I never discuss my fitness/diets unless people asked how I was losing weight.I see it happeing to some people too.One lady told this other lady that she was getting chubby. Another one told someone else she gained weight in staff room full of people.Remarkably ,the lady was cool about it and said"yep I gained 10 pounds". When I questioned the lady who had made the coment,she just said it's a normal thing their culture to comment on someone's weight gain. So I don't know if some people are just clueless
Which culture is that?
Somalian0 -
Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.2 -
Only if it's untrue.0
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Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.
OK I will do that but I work in big building so the commenters are not always the same people. I haven't seen this lady for months since she works opposite shifts and that's the first thing she tells me.
Also I asked another man "why do you care how much I weigh'? after he repeatedly made comments on my weight fluctuations .He got the hint and stopped
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I'm 5'11, I can gain 20lbs and no one notices.
I actually just lost almost 15lbs and my BF can't tell. He said I look like I did before I started losing...0 -
Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.
OK I will do that but I work in big building so the commenters are not always the same people. I haven't seen this lady for months since she works opposite shifts and that's the first thing she tells me.
Also I asked another man "why do you care how much I weigh'? after he repeatedly made comments on my weight fluctuations .He got the hint and stopped
How many people have commented on your weight at one time or the other?1 -
Isn't Somalia mostly Muslim? Don't they wear loose fitting clothing? Seems like no one would even notice.
But if it's part of their culture you can choose to go with it (when in Rome) and not take offense, or to say, "In my culture it is rude to talk about other peoples' weight."0
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