Would you be annoyed if someone points out your 5-10 punds weight gain?
Replies
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Look for a new job, with a higher pay. Best way out.3
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for a different take on a condescending remark....turn it into what they said as a "compliment" and say "thank you" and move on to 'how 'bout them Yankees."
If they REALLLY wish to dwell on your body, then be up front and say "my body is not up for discussion, you need to stop."
if you decide to speak with H.R., the first thing they will do is ask if you told them to stop.
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TavistockToad wrote: »collectingblues wrote: »I wanted to talk to HR in regards of everyone commenting on my weight fluctuations, not just her because it happens all the time
Seriously? What sorts of idiots do you work with, then?
In all of the places I've worked over the past 15 years, I can count on one hand the number of times someone commented on my weight -- and all of those were in the context of "Are you doing OK? You've lost weight." or "You're so active, no wonder you're small!"
Not to victim blame... but what's the context? Do people in your workplace really just comment on weight gains as everyday conversation? Or are you all talking about fitness/diet/etc,?
What do you think going to HR would accomplish?
I never discuss my fitness/diets unless people asked how I was losing weight.I see it happeing to some people too.One lady told this other lady that she was getting chubby. Another one told someone else she gained weight in staff room full of people.Remarkably ,the lady was cool about it and said"yep I gained 10 pounds". When I questioned the lady who had made the coment,she just said it's a normal thing their culture to comment on someone's weight gain. So I don't know if some people are just clueless
Which culture is that?
Somalian0 -
Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.2 -
Only if it's untrue.0
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Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.
OK I will do that but I work in big building so the commenters are not always the same people. I haven't seen this lady for months since she works opposite shifts and that's the first thing she tells me.
Also I asked another man "why do you care how much I weigh'? after he repeatedly made comments on my weight fluctuations .He got the hint and stopped
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I'm 5'11, I can gain 20lbs and no one notices.
I actually just lost almost 15lbs and my BF can't tell. He said I look like I did before I started losing...0 -
Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.
OK I will do that but I work in big building so the commenters are not always the same people. I haven't seen this lady for months since she works opposite shifts and that's the first thing she tells me.
Also I asked another man "why do you care how much I weigh'? after he repeatedly made comments on my weight fluctuations .He got the hint and stopped
How many people have commented on your weight at one time or the other?1 -
Isn't Somalia mostly Muslim? Don't they wear loose fitting clothing? Seems like no one would even notice.
But if it's part of their culture you can choose to go with it (when in Rome) and not take offense, or to say, "In my culture it is rude to talk about other peoples' weight."0 -
Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.
OK I will do that but I work in big building so the commenters are not always the same people. I haven't seen this lady for months since she works opposite shifts and that's the first thing she tells me.
Also I asked another man "why do you care how much I weigh'? after he repeatedly made comments on my weight fluctuations .He got the hint and stopped
That’s perfect. Turn it around on them and make them feel uncomfortable enough to quit asking. “Why do you care if I’ve gained weight?” And just stare at them. If they respond with a stupid remark (it being their culture or whatever), keep staring at them. They’re being rude, they’ll get the hint. But your response was perfect.1 -
I feel you. I never talk about my weight, to the point of telling coworkers I'm trying to save money when they ask why I'm now bringing my lunch to work. I feel really uncomfortable with comments on my weight even when they're compliments. But I still get them. Never about gaining, but any noticeable loss is met with comments on how "skinny" I look from women I work with (I don't. I'm still obese. Nor do I aspire to look skinny
). I just try to ignore them, because where I work is very gossipy and dramatic office where the slightest thing can cause all sorts of talk. I know they mean well, but I agree that it's really none of their business unless I make it known.
I agree with others though about not going to hr. If you have email at work you could politely ask them in an email (less confrontational if you're an introvert like me) to not bring it up because it embarrasses you (that'll make them more sympathetic than saying it angers you lol). If they refuse to drop the subject, then you can consider further steps. That gives you the added benefit of having evidence that you tried to address the issue.2 -
Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.
OK I will do that but I work in big building so the commenters are not always the same people. I haven't seen this lady for months since she works opposite shifts and that's the first thing she tells me.
Also I asked another man "why do you care how much I weigh'? after he repeatedly made comments on my weight fluctuations .He got the hint and stopped
How many people have commented on your weight at one time or the other?
I don't keep track but more than 10 people for sure.It seems like a common occurrence in this work place. I never had that issue at previous workplaces. My weight has always fluctuate depending on how active I am
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Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.
OK I will do that but I work in big building so the commenters are not always the same people. I haven't seen this lady for months since she works opposite shifts and that's the first thing she tells me.
Also I asked another man "why do you care how much I weigh'? after he repeatedly made comments on my weight fluctuations .He got the hint and stopped
Ah, I see. That does present a bit of a challenge. I guess I'd just keep it generic and whether it's a gain or loss they comment on, say, "Oh, my weight fluctuates all the time, but I'm healthy. Are you just starting your shift, too?" (or whatever to change the subject)1 -
My current work environment is full of everyone on a diet, fast, vegan enlightenment, or people having weight loss surgery by the droves. So suddenly they feel it's their mission to be the personal weight savior to anyone over a size 2. I don't speak to any of those people anymore except to get the work done. Thankfully those I work with closest know my history and respect my boundaries. But I don't owe anyone an explanation about the size or shape of my body. Neither do you.3
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Yes, I'd be annoyed. I'm also petite, but for me it does go to my belly... and to get asked if I'm pregnant is the worst. I wouldn't bring it to HR, but I would let them know I find it rude.2
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I know exactly how you feel. I am losing weight right now and I have a bunch of asshats for coworkers who think that they can comment on my weight/food.
For those of you saying "well it's true", it doesnt matter if it true or not, you are in a work environment and her weight has nothing to do with work so they have no right to comment. I have been wanting to go to HR, but I am a chicken about it but I have made it clear that the remarks are inappropriate, hasnt really made them stop so I just keep to myself.
I don't talk about my food, weight loss or fitness at work and the comments I have received are;
- "You dont even eat anymore" (I eat 4 meals a day)
- "Let me know when you start binging again and I will take you out for dinner" (this one seriously pissed me off)
- "You are losing too much weight" (not true since I still have 80lbs to go.)
- "Your diet is pissing me off." (like seriously, because I said no thank you to your food offer?)
Make sure you tell your coworkers that the comments are not welcome and if they continue, you can for sure go to HR about it. If it's a 1 time comment and stops when you tell them its not ok, HR wont do much but if it keeps happening, that is harassment and creating a hostile work environment.0 -
Yes, it's rude to comment on other people's weight in Western culture. No, it's not rude in other parts of the world. Your coworkers sound like *kitten* by Western standards and I'd be forceful (ie. not even making an effort to be polite) when telling them to keep their mouths shut about my body.
But HR? No. Remember that HR departments are there to protect the company -- not the employee. In my experience, no one in HR cares about how you feel about working there. If the company culture is such that it allows rudeness but isn't doing anything illegal (and as far as I know there isn't legislation protecting weight status in the US, though I don't know where you are), going to HR will have no effect (best case) and can potentially make your job there hell (worst case).
If the situation makes you that uncomfortable -- and it would for me, so no judgment here -- I'd start looking for another job.6 -
Sounds like you are a bit precious! Where I work , NHS, if I went to H R about every comment i'd practically need to move into their office!!! Just brush it off, then address how you feel. I'm sure you look lovely
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