Would you be annoyed if someone points out your 5-10 punds weight gain?
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Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.
OK I will do that but I work in big building so the commenters are not always the same people. I haven't seen this lady for months since she works opposite shifts and that's the first thing she tells me.
Also I asked another man "why do you care how much I weigh'? after he repeatedly made comments on my weight fluctuations .He got the hint and stopped
That’s perfect. Turn it around on them and make them feel uncomfortable enough to quit asking. “Why do you care if I’ve gained weight?” And just stare at them. If they respond with a stupid remark (it being their culture or whatever), keep staring at them. They’re being rude, they’ll get the hint. But your response was perfect.1 -
I feel you. I never talk about my weight, to the point of telling coworkers I'm trying to save money when they ask why I'm now bringing my lunch to work. I feel really uncomfortable with comments on my weight even when they're compliments. But I still get them. Never about gaining, but any noticeable loss is met with comments on how "skinny" I look from women I work with (I don't. I'm still obese. Nor do I aspire to look skinny
). I just try to ignore them, because where I work is very gossipy and dramatic office where the slightest thing can cause all sorts of talk. I know they mean well, but I agree that it's really none of their business unless I make it known.
I agree with others though about not going to hr. If you have email at work you could politely ask them in an email (less confrontational if you're an introvert like me) to not bring it up because it embarrasses you (that'll make them more sympathetic than saying it angers you lol). If they refuse to drop the subject, then you can consider further steps. That gives you the added benefit of having evidence that you tried to address the issue.2 -
Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.
OK I will do that but I work in big building so the commenters are not always the same people. I haven't seen this lady for months since she works opposite shifts and that's the first thing she tells me.
Also I asked another man "why do you care how much I weigh'? after he repeatedly made comments on my weight fluctuations .He got the hint and stopped
How many people have commented on your weight at one time or the other?
I don't keep track but more than 10 people for sure.It seems like a common occurrence in this work place. I never had that issue at previous workplaces. My weight has always fluctuate depending on how active I am
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Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.
OK I will do that but I work in big building so the commenters are not always the same people. I haven't seen this lady for months since she works opposite shifts and that's the first thing she tells me.
Also I asked another man "why do you care how much I weigh'? after he repeatedly made comments on my weight fluctuations .He got the hint and stopped
Ah, I see. That does present a bit of a challenge. I guess I'd just keep it generic and whether it's a gain or loss they comment on, say, "Oh, my weight fluctuates all the time, but I'm healthy. Are you just starting your shift, too?" (or whatever to change the subject)1 -
My current work environment is full of everyone on a diet, fast, vegan enlightenment, or people having weight loss surgery by the droves. So suddenly they feel it's their mission to be the personal weight savior to anyone over a size 2. I don't speak to any of those people anymore except to get the work done. Thankfully those I work with closest know my history and respect my boundaries. But I don't owe anyone an explanation about the size or shape of my body. Neither do you.3
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Yes, I'd be annoyed. I'm also petite, but for me it does go to my belly... and to get asked if I'm pregnant is the worst. I wouldn't bring it to HR, but I would let them know I find it rude.2
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I know exactly how you feel. I am losing weight right now and I have a bunch of asshats for coworkers who think that they can comment on my weight/food.
For those of you saying "well it's true", it doesnt matter if it true or not, you are in a work environment and her weight has nothing to do with work so they have no right to comment. I have been wanting to go to HR, but I am a chicken about it but I have made it clear that the remarks are inappropriate, hasnt really made them stop so I just keep to myself.
I don't talk about my food, weight loss or fitness at work and the comments I have received are;
- "You dont even eat anymore" (I eat 4 meals a day)
- "Let me know when you start binging again and I will take you out for dinner" (this one seriously pissed me off)
- "You are losing too much weight" (not true since I still have 80lbs to go.)
- "Your diet is pissing me off." (like seriously, because I said no thank you to your food offer?)
Make sure you tell your coworkers that the comments are not welcome and if they continue, you can for sure go to HR about it. If it's a 1 time comment and stops when you tell them its not ok, HR wont do much but if it keeps happening, that is harassment and creating a hostile work environment.0 -
Yes, it's rude to comment on other people's weight in Western culture. No, it's not rude in other parts of the world. Your coworkers sound like *kitten* by Western standards and I'd be forceful (ie. not even making an effort to be polite) when telling them to keep their mouths shut about my body.
But HR? No. Remember that HR departments are there to protect the company -- not the employee. In my experience, no one in HR cares about how you feel about working there. If the company culture is such that it allows rudeness but isn't doing anything illegal (and as far as I know there isn't legislation protecting weight status in the US, though I don't know where you are), going to HR will have no effect (best case) and can potentially make your job there hell (worst case).
If the situation makes you that uncomfortable -- and it would for me, so no judgment here -- I'd start looking for another job.6 -
Sounds like you are a bit precious! Where I work , NHS, if I went to H R about every comment i'd practically need to move into their office!!! Just brush it off, then address how you feel. I'm sure you look lovely
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I agree with some of the other comments that what she said is a bit rude but there's no need to report it to HR. She might not have meant to say it - she could have accidentally just blurted it out - but reporting to HR is a bit much.0
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Thanks everyone for your insights. I won't take it to HR3
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Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.
OK I will do that but I work in big building so the commenters are not always the same people. I haven't seen this lady for months since she works opposite shifts and that's the first thing she tells me.
Also I asked another man "why do you care how much I weigh'? after he repeatedly made comments on my weight fluctuations .He got the hint and stopped
How many people have commented on your weight at one time or the other?
I don't keep track but more than 10 people for sure.It seems like a common occurrence in this work place. I never had that issue at previous workplaces. My weight has always fluctuate depending on how active I am
Because this has been happening to you from approximately 10 people, I would quietly document who/what/when/where/time in a small notebook that you may conveniently carry. I would also document your OWN response such as "stop making comments about my body."
I personally would take this documentation to your H.R. This is HARASSMENT. Whether its a male, female, and especially your supervisors. This is something H.R. needs to address and put a STOP to it. When you DO take it to H.R., tell them you are highly offended.
(eta: if an employee loses their job over something such as this? This is grounds for discrimination lawsuit here in the U.S. )1 -
Coming from a region where starvation is not uncommon, I can see why some Somalis would notice if others are gaining or losing weight. Chances are, being heavy is a sign of wealth, and thus something to be complimented, not an insult at all. That said, it would be a good idea to respond, "In this country, it isn't acceptable to comment on people's weight."1
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I don't keep track but more than 10 people for sure.It seems like a common occurrence in this work place. I never had that issue at previous workplaces. My weight has always fluctuate depending on how active I am
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Because this has been happening to you from approximately 10 people, I would quietly document who/what/when/where/time in a small notebook that you may conveniently carry. I would also document your OWN response such as "stop making comments about my body."
I personally would take this documentation to your H.R. This is HARASSMENT. Whether its a male, female, and especially your supervisors. This is something H.R. needs to address and put a STOP to it. When you DO take it to H.R., tell them you are highly offended.
(eta: if an employee loses their job over something such as this? This is grounds for discrimination lawsuit here in the U.S. )[/quote]
My HR department would absolutely not do anything about someone asking me if I’d gained weight or lost weight. I’d say there’s a slight, slight chance they might say something to that particular person if I made a huge stink about it. But there would be no disciplinary action and I dare say that person might come back with the “in my culture....” and that probably would end it.
I’ll be honest, if someone asking someone else if they’ve gained or lost weight is “highly” offensive, I’m not sure how people handle things when something TRULY offensive happens. Not saying I’d like the question myself, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. Just annoying and kind of rude. I’d just tell them to worry about their own weight.1 -
I guess maybe it depends were you work .My sister had an incident were one of her colleagues constantly making comments on how she is too skinny .She went to report him and HR warned him if he doesn't stop they will dismiss him. He never said a word to her again0
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Of course there's no way to know for sure, but it's likely that she wasn't intending to be rude. I'd address it with her first. It shouldn't be a big deal to say some polite version of, "Hey, I don't like that; please don't do it." If you do that and it continues, then I'd think about talking to HR.0
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I at first feel insulted when somebody points it out. But when I finally go over to the scale to weigh myself (because I don't do it often), then I become grateful... Because I dislike my body image being one of overweight or obesity... And it means that other people have noticed the change in my body also before I was aware of it... I don't mind. I just hate it when it turns into bullying and taunting... That.... my friends, has got to stop.0
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Now that I read your further explanation of your weight changes, it makes more sense as to why "everyone" is commenting on it. At this point, it's up to YOU to put a stop to it.
Politely and briefly make it clear that your weight fluctuations are no longer a topic of conversation, whether it's common in a culture or not. If something makes you uncomfortable, then speak up. Set your boundaries and enforce them.
OK I will do that but I work in big building so the commenters are not always the same people. I haven't seen this lady for months since she works opposite shifts and that's the first thing she tells me.
Also I asked another man "why do you care how much I weigh'? after he repeatedly made comments on my weight fluctuations .He got the hint and stopped
How many people have commented on your weight at one time or the other?
I don't keep track but more than 10 people for sure.It seems like a common occurrence in this work place. I never had that issue at previous workplaces. My weight has always fluctuate depending on how active I am
Wow that's very bizarre. Not sure how 10 diff people would see your face and immediately connect you with weight loss/gain.
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