Never going to be happy?
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DanniB423
Posts: 776 Member
April of 2016 I weighed 272 lbs. May of 2017 I had ade it down to 206.8. Unfortunately, right now this process has got away from me and I am sitting at 229. I feel like a lot of this has to do with the fact that even all the way down to 206 I was still unhappy with myself. The things I didn't like were just new. Feeling like a melted candle, oh now my face is thinner so I look old.... etc. I'm a sensible and logical person so I do realize that fixing your body doesn't always fix your head. I am super disappointed in myself for slipping back to 229 and I do want to make it to Onederland and my goal of 165. I guess I just thought I would be more excited about the change. I know health is extremely important and I do try to be excited about the health aspect of weight loss and not only how I feel about how I look but I'm just being honest in saying my insecurity didn't change. I really need to get ahold on this now before 229 is 250 and then 272 again. Any similar experiences? Thanks!
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April of 2016 I weighed 272 lbs. May of 2017 I had ade it down to 206.8. Unfortunately, right now this process has got away from me and I am sitting at 229. I feel like a lot of this has to do with the fact that even all the way down to 206 I was still unhappy with myself. The things I didn't like were just new. Feeling like a melted candle, oh now my face is thinner so I look old.... etc. I'm a sensible and logical person so I do realize that fixing your body doesn't always fix your head. I am super disappointed in myself for slipping back to 229 and I do want to make it to Onederland and my goal of 165. I guess I just thought I would be more excited about the change. I know health is extremely important and I do try to be excited about the health aspect of weight loss and not only how I feel about how I look but I'm just being honest in saying my insecurity didn't change. I really need to get ahold on this now before 229 is 250 and then 272 again. Any similar experiences? Thanks!
"Fixing" your body never fixes your head. In fact, it's the other way around (in my unprofessional opinion). You have to like and love yourself NOW enough to commit to life-long changes. Easier said than done, I know, but maybe start with getting your mind in the right place and the body will follow.
You've lost weight before, so you know HOW to do it. It does take the mind a while to catch up to the body, also, so while you may not like the way you look initially, give yourself time to adjust.9 -
You need to learn to live yourself regardless of your weight. Easier said than done, but maybe you could speak to someone about your lack of self esteem?3
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Couple of things. Don't think I exactly learned to love or like my 285lbs self, but I came to view myself as a worthy cause. If I wanted a healthy weight, I deserved to get there. I look on it as more a matter of respecting myself.
Also, life is about limits. We won't get all we want. And that's ok. We might not live as long as we want. Might not be so healthy, have as much money or as much love as we would like. We can't eat as much pizza or chocolate cake as we want without gaining weight.
If we lose weight, we may be left with sagging skin around our middle. It's just the nature of universe. Just do the best you can with what you've got starting today. An idea that helped me, don't know the origin- Perfect is the enemy of the good.8 -
@TavistockToad I was seeing someone and stopped due to cost. I have new insurance now and I am going to find someone. A marital issue two years ago took my self esteem and mopped the floor with it. I am certainly working on turning it around. Thank you!5
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@88olds thank you so much for that. I love that. You are so right. Losing weight and getting healthy really started as a gift to myself. Somehow along the way it got lost. I had a bump in my marriage and the more "back to normal" life got afterwards... the more my old "normal" bad habits crept back. Your perspective was truly helpful. I want to see myself as worth the good fight.3
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I understand what you are going through. I look at my face in the mirror and just sigh..ugh. I am fully aware this is destructive behaviour and the only way to change it is turning the negative thoughts into positive. Even if at first you don't believe it, you have to force yourself. For example, instead of thinking ugh, my face looks horrible..you say or think, my face IS beautiful. Positive affirmations truley work, just with anything else, we have to work on it. It's funny bc people believe that negative thoughts can cause harm, however find it difficult to believe positive ones will cause a good change. Write out a mantra, a short positive sentance and repeat it over and over. You will be feelibg better veey soon! I will do it too!2
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@TavistockToad I was seeing someone and stopped due to cost. I have new insurance now and I am going to find someone. A marital issue two years ago took my self esteem and mopped the floor with it. I am certainly working on turning it around. Thank you!
Don't feel like you need to explain yourself to anyone. I know you came on a public place, but even still jeez.
Anyways..you sound like you are aware of your situation and doing what you can to turn it around. At the end of the day we are all just doing the best we can. You're human. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Cut yourself some slack..give yourself a pep talk and be real with yourself and throw away what you think this journey should look like and embrace what it is for you at the moment.
I wish you the best in moving forward to a healthier you..not just in regards to your body..but to your outlook with yourself, too.3 -
I think many of us have done this. I've lost the same 50 pounds over and over...I'm also struggling to get back to where I was after a 3 week set-back. Sometimes we just have to pretty much accept it. It sucks. You feel sad, ashamed, etc at least that's how I get. Your starting weight is pretty much where I was at my heaviest, and your goal weight is my goal weight.2
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Just my experience;
I have some days where I look at the mirror and choke back tears, but I also have some days where I think, “I look pretty good in this.”
I have just accepted that I will never be happy with the way my body looks
But BUT BUT BUT
I am freakin’ stoked with what my body can do. I can run a 3 mile hilly trail. I can deadlift 50# over my body weight easily. I can do 2 - count ‘em- TWO real pull-ups. I can throw my 5 and 6 year old’s over my shoulders and run around the yard. And about a million other things that I could never do at 266#.
Fitness is fun. Living a fit life is so much fun! Stop obsessing about how you look and start improving how you live.7 -
I was 241lbs and was very depressed, Im currently 198lbs and still would like to get 175lbs. Losing the weight did make me feel better about myself but wasnt till I started getting out of my house and doing things was were I changed my mineset. Losing the weight does give you confidence but you have to know you are beautiful and see yourself that way. Good luck on your journey.2
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You're due for a campaign of awesome! It's easy to kick righteous, tubular excellence down the road until you've "fixed" your problems, until you're some mythical version of yourself that's worthy of living it up. GUESS WHAT THOUGH, QUEEN: You can do that now. Get mad stoked about life and live it, the weight loss stuff can be a part of it, for sure--but it's most important to get feeling victorious and pumped about how frickin' sweet life can be.2
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Wow, y'all are awesome. Thank you so much for the advice and encouragement.1
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@TavistockToad I was seeing someone and stopped due to cost. I have new insurance now and I am going to find someone. A marital issue two years ago took my self esteem and mopped the floor with it. I am certainly working on turning it around. Thank you!
Don't feel like you need to explain yourself to anyone. I know you came on a public place, but even still jeez.
Anyways..you sound like you are aware of your situation and doing what you can to turn it around. At the end of the day we are all just doing the best we can. You're human. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Cut yourself some slack..give yourself a pep talk and be real with yourself and throw away what you think this journey should look like and embrace what it is for you at the moment.
I wish you the best in moving forward to a healthier you..not just in regards to your body..but to your outlook with yourself, too.
Why woo? Whoever you are?0
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