Never going to be happy?

DanniB423
DanniB423 Posts: 777 Member
edited November 22 in Motivation and Support
April of 2016 I weighed 272 lbs. May of 2017 I had ade it down to 206.8. Unfortunately, right now this process has got away from me and I am sitting at 229. I feel like a lot of this has to do with the fact that even all the way down to 206 I was still unhappy with myself. The things I didn't like were just new. Feeling like a melted candle, oh now my face is thinner so I look old.... etc. I'm a sensible and logical person so I do realize that fixing your body doesn't always fix your head. I am super disappointed in myself for slipping back to 229 and I do want to make it to Onederland and my goal of 165. I guess I just thought I would be more excited about the change. I know health is extremely important and I do try to be excited about the health aspect of weight loss and not only how I feel about how I look but I'm just being honest in saying my insecurity didn't change. I really need to get ahold on this now before 229 is 250 and then 272 again. Any similar experiences? Thanks!

Replies

  • DanniB423
    DanniB423 Posts: 777 Member
    I know you are right @BZAH10 . I am just really struggling with that right now for some reason. Thank you!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    edited October 2017
    You need to learn to live yourself regardless of your weight. Easier said than done, but maybe you could speak to someone about your lack of self esteem?
  • DanniB423
    DanniB423 Posts: 777 Member
    @88olds thank you so much for that. I love that. You are so right. Losing weight and getting healthy really started as a gift to myself. Somehow along the way it got lost. I had a bump in my marriage and the more "back to normal" life got afterwards... the more my old "normal" bad habits crept back. Your perspective was truly helpful. I want to see myself as worth the good fight.
  • rach021979
    rach021979 Posts: 103 Member
    I understand what you are going through. I look at my face in the mirror and just sigh..ugh. I am fully aware this is destructive behaviour and the only way to change it is turning the negative thoughts into positive. Even if at first you don't believe it, you have to force yourself. For example, instead of thinking ugh, my face looks horrible..you say or think, my face IS beautiful. Positive affirmations truley work, just with anything else, we have to work on it. It's funny bc people believe that negative thoughts can cause harm, however find it difficult to believe positive ones will cause a good change. Write out a mantra, a short positive sentance and repeat it over and over. You will be feelibg better veey soon! I will do it too!
  • BNY721
    BNY721 Posts: 125 Member
    DanniB423 wrote: »
    @TavistockToad I was seeing someone and stopped due to cost. I have new insurance now and I am going to find someone. A marital issue two years ago took my self esteem and mopped the floor with it. I am certainly working on turning it around. Thank you!

    Don't feel like you need to explain yourself to anyone. I know you came on a public place, but even still jeez.

    Anyways..you sound like you are aware of your situation and doing what you can to turn it around. At the end of the day we are all just doing the best we can. You're human. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Cut yourself some slack..give yourself a pep talk and be real with yourself and throw away what you think this journey should look like and embrace what it is for you at the moment.

    I wish you the best in moving forward to a healthier you..not just in regards to your body..but to your outlook with yourself, too.
  • 76Crane76
    76Crane76 Posts: 133 Member
    I think many of us have done this. I've lost the same 50 pounds over and over...I'm also struggling to get back to where I was after a 3 week set-back. Sometimes we just have to pretty much accept it. It sucks. You feel sad, ashamed, etc at least that's how I get. Your starting weight is pretty much where I was at my heaviest, and your goal weight is my goal weight.
  • KetoPhillip
    KetoPhillip Posts: 70 Member
    I was 241lbs and was very depressed, Im currently 198lbs and still would like to get 175lbs. Losing the weight did make me feel better about myself but wasnt till I started getting out of my house and doing things was were I changed my mineset. Losing the weight does give you confidence but you have to know you are beautiful and see yourself that way. Good luck on your journey.
  • tabletop_joe
    tabletop_joe Posts: 455 Member
    You're due for a campaign of awesome! It's easy to kick righteous, tubular excellence down the road until you've "fixed" your problems, until you're some mythical version of yourself that's worthy of living it up. GUESS WHAT THOUGH, QUEEN: You can do that now. Get mad stoked about life and live it, the weight loss stuff can be a part of it, for sure--but it's most important to get feeling victorious and pumped about how frickin' sweet life can be.
  • DanniB423
    DanniB423 Posts: 777 Member
    Wow, y'all are awesome. Thank you so much for the advice and encouragement.
  • DanniB423
    DanniB423 Posts: 777 Member
    BNY721 wrote: »
    DanniB423 wrote: »
    @TavistockToad I was seeing someone and stopped due to cost. I have new insurance now and I am going to find someone. A marital issue two years ago took my self esteem and mopped the floor with it. I am certainly working on turning it around. Thank you!

    Don't feel like you need to explain yourself to anyone. I know you came on a public place, but even still jeez.

    Anyways..you sound like you are aware of your situation and doing what you can to turn it around. At the end of the day we are all just doing the best we can. You're human. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Cut yourself some slack..give yourself a pep talk and be real with yourself and throw away what you think this journey should look like and embrace what it is for you at the moment.

    I wish you the best in moving forward to a healthier you..not just in regards to your body..but to your outlook with yourself, too.

    Why woo? Whoever you are?
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