Discouraged

rosalee87
rosalee87 Posts: 221 Member
edited September 30 in Health and Weight Loss
I've been doing very well recently with the dieting and exercise BUT, since my parents have started noticing my weight loss my dad is constantly getting on my back about eating. Everytime everyones in the kitchen eating heavy snacks and I opt for half an apple he starts hassling me, "You're eating too little", "You need to eat", "You're taking it too serious, you're gunna get sick" and blah blah blah he's always nagging at me and his nagging is discouraging me - of course he thinks I'm eating too little, he typically has what is supposed to be a meal as a snack. Ugh! :(

Replies

  • catwrangler
    catwrangler Posts: 918 Member
    awwwww, he loves you! I would give him a big hug and say Thanks Dad :flowerforyou:

    then continue eating the apple....:bigsmile:
  • NKF92879
    NKF92879 Posts: 601 Member
    Have you tried showing him your food diary? Maybe if he sees that you are eating in a healthy manner, he'll stop nagging you. Either way, keep your chin up. You need to do this for you! AND... you can and will do this. :happy:
  • Broken_
    Broken_ Posts: 172 Member
    I've dealt with this from friends and family.

    You HAVE to put other people's feelings aside and KNOW you are doing what's right for you.

    You aren't starving yourself... you are making sure you live a long, healthy, and happy life.

    Dad is just going to have to stop.

    Have you tried talking to him about it? Tell him that you are trying really hard to get healthy and feel better about yourself. That what he says is discouraging.

    I don't think there's a father alive who doesn't want to see their daughter happy.
  • rwd5046
    rwd5046 Posts: 302
    Dad is concerned. It might sound like "nagging" but he loves you and is really concerned. Just tell him you're fine, laugh with him, and keep moving right along.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Look at it this way: He isn't aware of healthy eating and he is concerned that his beautiful baby girl is starving herself. What you need to do is have a sit down conversation with him about what you're doing, how it's healthy and how when he criticizes you it makes you feel discouraged. Explain to him you want to have a healthy young adult life so you can live long and prosperously. I think once you do that he'll be less concerned and then you can take the rest as a joke ;)
  • slim_photographer
    slim_photographer Posts: 310 Member
    we are on the same boat. don't give up.
  • juliapurpletoes
    juliapurpletoes Posts: 951 Member
    yeah - he is just worried, I'd be the same way if my daughter was losing alot of weight and I preferred her larger. I agree to showing him your diary and perhaps the BMI chart. show him you are trying for a healthy weight. Not some size 0 scary weight.

    See what happens....education....even us old timers could use some!
  • GITERDONEJEN
    GITERDONEJEN Posts: 3
    I don't know if this would work, but maybe if you were to show your parents your plan... like, "Look, here's how many calories I get a day, this is the goal I'm working toward, so though it might seem at times like I'm eating 'too little,' I'm just trying to stay on my plan." It's hard, but there will always be people with comments like this. I've been on many weight loss journies and I've heard so many odd comments, but way more positive and encouraging ones. At the end of the day, focus on those! And you can do it, in spite of the discouraging words!!!
  • kjphipps
    kjphipps Posts: 14
    Be patient with him.. he is worried about you. Let him know you are eatting healthy choices now and you are tracking all you eat in your food log. Show him that if he needs to. Just don't let him get you down.. continue to eat good choices and make sure you are eating enough for you burn....
    he is worried about you getting an eating disorder.... just explain to him about healthy choices .... love yourself... and remember he loves you. The weight lose is great.... keep going!!!!!
  • carmella7164
    carmella7164 Posts: 22 Member
    I agree with all these comments - he is trying to help and loves you and doesn't want you to loose too much weight all at once and thinks you are not eating enough - show him what you been doing and maybe he will understand. I wish I could loose some weight but haven't hard time focusing on this. My clothes are feeling the same. Good luck to you.
  • Buddhaboy
    Buddhaboy Posts: 60 Member
    Dads just worry
    Both of my girls had eating disorders, so he just being a good father in watching over you
    Try what I do with my girls, share this site and your progress with him
    Talk about your goals, and why you what to get to an idea weight
    That will give him assurance that you're dieting safely...he might even join you
    Have fun
  • DaveShoreshe
    DaveShoreshe Posts: 20
    Rosalee... all you can do is try and explain to your parents that you're NOT eating badly or too little. If your parents are anything like mine, remember they are old school and they grew up having to "finish everything on their plate". Reassure them that you are fine and that you know what you're doing. Don't be afraid to ask them for their support!
    In the meantime stay true to yourself and what you're doing!
    If you need motivation, you can always add me as a friend!
  • dr4m4qu33n
    dr4m4qu33n Posts: 19
    Family and friends can sometimes be discouraging. Keep your head up, keep up the great work, and ignore the negative comments! Once he notices a difference in the way you look and feel, maybe it will inspire your dad to make some changes himself. Lots of people don't realize a serving size is a lot smaller than they are really consuming. Don't be discouraged!!!!!
  • DJParrish01
    DJParrish01 Posts: 38 Member
    He is feeling guilt, I'm sure, about being an unhealthy role model, when it comes to food. He probably sees you trying to eat right and "undo" all that you've ever known and seen in him. He's probably a bit threatened. Yes, I would just hug him and tell him you love him, and then keep doing what you do! Just keep up the good work, girl! When he sees how healthy and happy and self-confidant you are, he'll quit nagging.... or maybe he won't... but just know that you're doing what's best for you!
  • afwg1979
    afwg1979 Posts: 170 Member
    I agree with "CatWrangler" -- Respond with a cheery smile and a "Thank you for caring!" and leave it at that. Keep it short and sweet. It just doesn't pay to acknowledge negativity - avoid fueling the source. Be consistent. Be patient. Just stick to your program (and smile). :bigsmile:

    PS: If your family needs to lose weight, please don't make any comments. Lead by example. Quietly. It's more powerful. Remember that "walking the walk" is more powerful than "talking the talk" - Action speaks louder than words.
  • whiskey9890
    whiskey9890 Posts: 652 Member
    bless him, he cares about you, as i'm sure you do about him. i'd point out to him that you are making yourself healthy so that when he has grandkids you are able to run around and look after them as best as you can. if he's anything like my dad the mere thought of grandkids would put a huge twinkle in his eye
  • tlzidon
    tlzidon Posts: 79 Member
    Dealing with parents about food can be hard, mainly because they raised you and they will always believe they know best for you. I applaud that you want to make a change in yourself and have decided you want to eat healthier than your family does. Stay strong and know that your dad is doing it because he cares. When my mom was overweight I told her she should do what each one of us do on here every day, keep track of everything you eat. It was really an eye opener when I actually took my own advice and did it myself. Keep your chin up though and rely on your MFP friends if you do need the support to stay strong.
  • Taydiamond
    Taydiamond Posts: 3
    Don't be discouraged. Stay focused and on track with your goal. Maybe the two of you could sit down and have a talk to show him how important this is to you and your health. Maybe he will see what you are trying to through a different set of eyes. :heart: He loves you and wants to make sure you are not over doing it. Just reassure him that you are on the right track and you are eating plenty of food. :smile: We are all here to support each other. Good luck with everything!!!
  • rosalee87
    rosalee87 Posts: 221 Member
    You guys are so great, thank you very much for the advice and your words of encouragement - I'm all teary and happy to know I have such great people here I can count on to make me feel better. I know my dad means well but it's just so hard when it's a constant thing; I will be taking everyones advice! Thank you!
  • ivy2009
    ivy2009 Posts: 75
    Indeed, he does love you. He may not really be "nagging" you but he is secretly naggin himself becuase maybe he knows he needs to get healthy, lose weight, etc. You may be "distrubing" his "comfort zone" with himself. By your healthy life style changes, you may be holding up a mirror to him and he may not like what he sees in himself but does not quite realize this himself and cannot articulate it.

    You cannot control or change other people's behavior or attitude. You can only work on your behavior and attitude. So jus do the right things for you. And try to let the rest go, understanding he loves you. Be strong. Be steady. Let it roll off your back. By your role modeling, you may bring about positive changes in others over time. If so, great. If not, transform yourself. :drinker:
  • LeCitron
    LeCitron Posts: 71
    I'm in the same situation with my mother. Though my anorexia was over nearly six years ago she still asks if I'm getting "obsessed" about food or if I'm "eating enough." Sometimes I feel like I have to stay at my current level of chub just to keep her stress levels down (and it's not like she discourages she idea either.)

    When it comes to family you pretty much have two options: deal with the annoyance and just reassure, reassure, and reassure. Or you can bring them in on your weight loss journey. I'm telling my mother most all about my dealings with this site, my weight loss goals, and what I'm eating. I would suggest trying to get your dad in on the "fun." Trying new recipes is always a good way to breach the gap. Explain to him what you're doing and the health benefits of your weight loss journey. I once created a PowerPoint presentation just to show my family the plan I was on and that I was the one in control of my eating/exercising. Oftentimes, if you bring up the issue scientifically there's not much arguing that can be done.

    Good luck!
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