Work/Life Balance?

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How do you guys with families do it? Granted, I consciously chose not to live the “do too much” lifestyle pressed upon American women. I don’t think it’s healthy to feel stressed all the time, but now I feel like I am not doing enough. It seems like a lot of other people fit so much more into their lives than I do; people have spouses, kids, homes and yards they own, hobbies, fitness programs, jobs, school…How do you do it? How does your week compare to mine? Do you all really do a million things more than me?

I recently I checked my goals and found I’m running short:

-12 gym workouts a month (I average 10)
-Bike 70 miles I week (I average 40)
-4 social/fun activities a month; movies, happy hour, etc. (I average 2)
-1 hour of hobby time a week; reading, crafting, blogging, etc. (maybe a couple hours a month)

I feel like I live a simple life. I rent a small home, have no kids or family nearby, and have a simple full-time job. I figured I would meet and exceed my goals. What do you spend your time doing and are you meeting your goals?

Replies

  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    Goals are great, but they have to be tempered with the reality of individual situations.

    For a long time, I was about doing all of the things, all of the time and I was pretty rigid with my goals...miles and miles in the saddle and 3x per week in the weight room, etc. Ultimately this left me with a lot of imbalance in my life and something I used to enjoy was starting to become miserable and I was wrapped up in this "gotta train" all of the time mindset.

    My 2017 resolution was to take a step back and strike a balance between my work, my fitness, and my family. I have goals/targets, but they aren't rigid...they're quite flexible. Ideally I'd like to ride about 50 miles per week which is a substantial reduction from what I was doing before...but I don't let that target interfere with other important things in my life...if I ride 50 great...if I ride 30, great...if I have a crazy week and only get in 10 or 15, great...i'm still moving and doing.

    In most cases, I can get in 50...when I can't it means that there's usually something going on the weekend...often a camping trip or a weekend getaway with the family, which is more important than my longer ride. I keep my weekday rides short as to not interfere too much with family life and other domestic obligations. I'm also only lifting 1-2x per week during the riding season...usually 1x. That will change in the winter when I will start focusing more on the gym and my riding will come down a lot to maintain that balance.

    As far as other things go, my family in general is pretty active. We like to go hiking or to the rock climbing gym or swimming...we like camping (which is where we do most of our hiking), etc so we're out and about as a family quite a bit. We watch very little in the way of t.v., so that gives us quite a bit of time for other things.
  • dani_1977
    dani_1977 Posts: 557 Member
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    amandaeve wrote: »
    How do you guys with families do it? Granted, I consciously chose not to live the “do too much” lifestyle pressed upon American women. I don’t think it’s healthy to feel stressed all the time, but now I feel like I am not doing enough. It seems like a lot of other people fit so much more into their lives than I do; people have spouses, kids, homes and yards they own, hobbies, fitness programs, jobs, school…How do you do it? How does your week compare to mine? Do you all really do a million things more than me?

    I recently I checked my goals and found I’m running short:

    -12 gym workouts a month (I average 10)
    -Bike 70 miles I week (I average 40)
    -4 social/fun activities a month; movies, happy hour, etc. (I average 2)
    -1 hour of hobby time a week; reading, crafting, blogging, etc. (maybe a couple hours a month)

    I feel like I live a simple life. I rent a small home, have no kids or family nearby, and have a simple full-time job. I figured I would meet and exceed my goals. What do you spend your time doing and are you meeting your goals?

    GUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Kudos to you for getting all of that in . You are killing it.

    Not much free time after 5pm with my kid and husband. So most of my workouts are in the morning before work. Saturday and Sunday are wild card days. If its nice I avoid the gym and go on a walk or hike.
    Other than that... not much else is getting down. Date night with my Husband 2x a month, hang with bestie 1x a month ( sometimes our schedules work and we get a walk in together on the weekend)

    Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings are booked with my 13yo activies.

    Any free time is figuring out dinner, household chores, or on the sofa with my husband.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    My wife "does it" by sleeping 14 hours each night and day, keeping an iced Coca-Cola or iced sweet tea nearby at all times, showering twice a week, having a breakfast of 2 scrambled eggs, then snacking on Cheetos and ice cream the rest of the day.

    The family had to learn to expect nothing from her, and did.

  • amandaeve
    amandaeve Posts: 723 Member
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    Thanks, everyone :smile:
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,905 Member
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    I have a husband, but no children.

    I have a full-time job.
    I attend university part-time working toward a Master's degree.
    I do homework in the evenings.
    I also do housework in the evenings.
    I am an active member of a long distance cycling club, holding roles and doing stuff for the club.
    I am also a long distance cyclist, so I fit as much cycling as I can into my week (so is my husband, so we do that together).
    In addition to cycling, I/we go to the gym, walk, and occasionally do other things like perhaps canoeing.
    My main hobby is photography which I try to slot in there somewhere ... in my free time ... hahahaha.
    I read before bed sometimes ... a good way to relax before sleep. That's about the only time I can fit reading in.
    And I've already mentioned social activities ... the cycling, walking, etc.

    When I started university, it was a bit of a struggle adding it into the mix, but now I've gotten used to it and it fits.

    But it's all about priorities.

    For example, for me, it is more important to get out there and do a 100+ km bicycle ride on the weekend than it is to vacuum each week. Yes, vacuuming will get done semi-regularly, but not weekly.

    And for me, it is more important to study for an upcoming test than it is to put away my laundry. I will finish the test, and then I'll do the laundry.

    Also, although I will watch TV, I cannot just sit and watch TV. It's more like background noise while I'm doing other things. I simply don't just sit and do nothing. Tried it ... can't do it. Too boring.
  • iyiyimsiz
    iyiyimsiz Posts: 3 Member
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    Hi,

    I am single. No children or husband. I work at finance for 5 days a week, also go to the university to get a master degree. So i am out all day except 2 or 3 hours a day.

    I get up early so i can have my breakfast at home since it is more healthy because all cheating points in the route to my office smells so sweet. Also prepare my lunch at home because everthing is so unhealthy outside. I go back to home for diners as well. I prepare detox water with mint and lemon. I try to settle this routine in my life.

    Also, I have a rush all day. I need to go to the university after work. Since i do not have time to exercise, I just get off the stop that i should and walk approximately 40 min a day.

    When i need to study, i arrange study chilling hours with my friends to socialize since i do not have time for socializing as well. On weekends i do cleaning in the early morning, i generally spend time with my family, study, see a movie. Sundays are need-days. I go for shopping usually.This is getting so hard to get used to it. However i know i will be so satisfied and happy if i reach my all goals eventually.

    I luurrve watching TV shows. So sad that i do not have time for binge watching now. :(
  • nursebravo14
    nursebravo14 Posts: 23 Member
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    I do squats between patients.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    I am married with an upper elementary school aged child. I work full-time M-F. I lift 3-4 times per week, do a short conditioning workout 1-2 times per week on non-lifting days (~30 minutes) and then aim to fit in enough walking to hit 8-10k steps per day.

    I hang out with my husband and daughter and do stuff around the house in my off time. My non-family social life is extremely minimal, as in we hang out with friends once or twice a year and I don't have any close girlfriends who I get together with regularly. To be clear, I am happy with this--I'm an extremely happy introvert in that sense. In fact I had to travel a few weeks ago and after making small talk with my Uber driver I was too exhausted to attend my conference's social event that night so I stayed in and went to bed at 8:30.

    As for hobbies, I read and lift and that's pretty much it.
  • TravisJHunt
    TravisJHunt Posts: 533 Member
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    I have no idea. I have two kids, a full time job, a beautiful wife and honestly I have no freakin clue how some people keep it all together. Our house looks like a natural disaster, I'm behind in a university course I'm taking (second degree), I struggle to fit in workouts and I've got a list of things to do, like winterizing our trailer that just keeps getting longer. So don't feel bad, it happens to a great many of us. The way I look at it though, is no one ever died wishing they'd cut their grass more often or spent more time fixing up their house. The regrets are always missing time with friends and family so I figure as long as I cover that off, the rest will just be what it will be.
  • brookielaw
    brookielaw Posts: 814 Member
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    I'm married with a toddler and a 13 year old.
    Our house often looks like a disaster area, but the kids are fed, loved, and happy. Big girl gets an allowance in exchange for several household chores, which is a big help on that front, but thank goodness my family lives way too far to just drop in.

    I make time by walking several times a week at work on my lunch break. Sometimes my home workouts involve mowing the lawn with a push mower (it's just shy of an acre, this is a 3-day project and can be quite a workout). My hour with my trainer on the weekend is sacred---on the weekends my husband works, I drop the girls off as he's getting off work and head to the trainer's. My goal is to swim 3 times a week, and it's often a matter of scheduling it for husband's week day off, or having him pick up the little one at day care one night a week, then squeezing in another swim on a weekend. We work together to make the scheduling happen.

    I don't do much socializing outside of the family and whatever race/athletic event I'm training for. Triathlon season just came to an end but I'll ramp up training at the beginning of the year. In the "off" season, we do a 5K as a family at least once a month. My husband has said that he wants to start biking so hopefully we can make this a weekend family routine.

    In short (too late), I guess I do it by setting my goals pretty low, but in a realistic manner. And I'm pretty lucky that I have a husband who supports me as a PARTNER. I have to admit, my training has frequently taken priority over his drumming. I should fix that.
  • Brabo_Grip
    Brabo_Grip Posts: 285 Member
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    I am married with two young kids. Both my wife and I have full time professional jobs. I train A LOT. Here is how I do it.

    1. My job is professional and salaried so I was able to negotiate longer lunches in order to train at noon everyday. (My wife works out most days at noon too.)
    2. We switch off night class during the week up to 3 times (her Zumba, me MMA). The other spouse knows they will be taking full kid duty from homework, to dinner, to bath, to bed. Weekends are for family time, though she will slip in a Zumba here and there and I will do some strength and conditioning when the kids are napping.
    3. House could be a less cluttered, but it is not a hoarder hovel.
    4. Neither of us watch much tv, if any. We don't consume much media in general.
    5. We get zero alone time, but we don't particularly like each other anyway, so that is no biggie.
    6. Most of my friends are at the gym so 90% of my social time is doing training related activities

    Ultimately, having flexibility professionally and a spouse that is on the same page about training/workout time seems to be the key for me. Without that, it would be very difficult to train as much as I do.

  • mcafton
    mcafton Posts: 190 Member
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    You sort of have to be selfish within reason to make sure you take the time out to exercise. I try to help my wife out more with chores or the kids to make up for the time spent cycling or weights. I usually only do every other day to be fair.
  • celiah909
    celiah909 Posts: 141 Member
    edited October 2017
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    It’s important to me to keep balance and also include self-care into my day. I’m a married mom to 3 kiddos (one is off at college and then have a 7 year old & 9 year old) and we have a dog. I also work full time.

    My husband is very helpful with the house and kids so that adds to us both being able to fit it all in. He has a poker night once per week and I have my gym time plus go to the barn weekly.

    I’m a salaried employee with a flexible job so I workout on a lunch break some days, some days I use lunch to grocery shop, some days I use lunch to walk my dog. Or some days I go in early and leave early to get stuff done while my kids are in school- just schedule it around meetings. I also have the ability to work from home as needed, I tend to work from home one afternoon a week.

    My husband and try to do a date once a month. Even if it’s at home but sometimes will cut out a little early on a Friday for a date while the kids are in school or take a long lunch for a movie....or ahem just meet at home for lunch. We work at the same company and are less than 10 minutes from our house.

    My house isn’t perfect. It could be better, I’m forever doing laundry lol bathrooms are always clean but my room looks like a laundry basket threw up in it & I always seem to have random shoes all over the place. We used to have a housekeeper but now as the kids are older they have more chores too so we removed that from our monthly budget...although we may go back to it after the holidays. We also hired a company to scoop dog poop and another for some lawn care. If the finances are there nothing wrong with outsourcing as needed.

    Having time with my kids and sitting down for dinner 95% of the time is very important to us. Most evenings you can find us out front with the kids while they play. My boys spend a good two hours each evening playing outside and I love that! I’ve also started doing neighborhood bike rides with them.

    Somehow it just fits in. We focus on what’s most important to us (family, self care & careers) and that means sometimes the rest struggles (house keeping & lawn care)

    (Edit to fix some typos)