Jealousy

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Argh- any one else struggle with this?? I'm so tired of feeling insecure whenever a hot, skinny girl walks past and I'm with my boyfriend. . . it makes me feel so inadequate!! :(

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  • HannahPendrigh
    HannahPendrigh Posts: 147 Member
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    yep, story of my life!! :(

    but at least we're doing something about it! and just think - soon we'll be the hot skinny girl walking past :D
  • Bearface115
    Bearface115 Posts: 574 Member
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    I bet you we all go through that. Us Girls looking at other women for inspiration and we end up feel like... damn... why am i not there yet, or My God i wish i had that body. I am a massage therapist and the other day i was massaging a really thin women and she was training for some programs, so her leg muscles were awesome looking... and i caught a glimps of myself in the mirror in the Spa Room, and thought to myself.... Damn, compared to her i look HUGE! but I say as long as your confident with yourself, You LOVE yourself and people love you for who you are and what your doing, Now that is something for ANYONE to be jealous about!
  • abbie017
    abbie017 Posts: 410
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    He picked you! Revel in that fact that you got your man, and that "hot skinny girl" couldn't have him!
  • greensnow
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    He picked you! Revel in that fact that you got your man, and that "hot skinny girl" couldn't have him!

    I try and tell myself this every day!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    I used to when i was younger, but now i just think he can look at the menu, but i know damn well he's eating at home!!
  • emmaNEEDSskinny
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    story of my life to. im not with him now but at first i didnt care then i started to get vain
    and noticed others
  • morenita71
    morenita71 Posts: 137 Member
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    This is a difficult one and although I understand your 'gut' feeling I would hope your man loves you for the person you are inside. I wasn't particularly slim when I met my partner and we got overweight together (but we've managed almost 20 years together!!) In fact when I have lost weight and got more attention from other men I think god you superficial ^*(&^*(&)!!! I'm the same person, same smile and eyes, wit, intelligence, cooking skills (and other skills!!) irrespective of whether I'm large or small. I want to lose weight for my health but can't deny there's an element of wanting to look 'hot' and as the media and everything else tells me, the only way to do this is through my body. And now even turning 40 is not permission to give up. Yes, losing weight, toning up makes us feel more confident, dress more revealingly etc but I think we should remember that fundamentally we are the same people inside irrespective of our body shape and our significant others also love (and fancy) what's inside.
  • Minoesh
    Minoesh Posts: 105 Member
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    Sweetie, you are gorgeous - hold your head up high and be confident in the fact that he chose you! :-)
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
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    you should never ever feel like this!! let me tell you from a guys perspective...behind every super sexy hot chick is some poor guy who is sick and tired of putting up with her bulls**t. it's one thing to '' look'' good, it's another thing to ''be good''...im not saying all good looking thin women aren't good people also, but what I am saying is recognise the many wonderful traits you have as well as your obvious good looks...after all, you have a boyfriend who was clearly drawn to you for all the RIGHT reasons! :-)
  • greensnow
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    :) ! Thanks for all the kind words
  • asunshinec
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    ugh... I struggle with this a lot... sometimes I feel like I'm jealous of everyone else! I either want to be thin, like them, or have a job, like theirs, or have a house, like theirs... it's ridiculous. The other day we were at my in-laws house for a birthday party and my fiance's ex was there. After losing nearly 20 lbs, I was feeling pretty good and I had made more effort than normal to wear a new outfit, do my hair and makeup... Well, when the ex arrived, it was apparent that she had lost weight too - more than me obviously, lol - and I was so jealous of the attention she was getting, it was unreal. I let the jealousy ruin my day and it made me sick, for two reasons - for (1) I should have been so proud of myself for what I accomplished, but instead I let myself get sucked into the "you're not good enough" self talk and (2) I lost out on quality time with my guys because I was too busy fuming (in my head) over how much weight she had lost and how it "wasn't fair". It's absolutely crazy! The next day, while mowing the lawn and sweating like a mad person, lol, I had an epiphany - I'm the only one that can change my attitude. If I'm unhappy with the way things are going in my life, I'm the only one that can make them better. I can't continue to blame others for my unhappiness - "he didn't notice my new clothes", "she didn't recognize the extra effort I put in to that project". And I can't continue to be jealous of the lives other people have - they've created the lives they wanted, I can AND WILL do the same. Letting go of the jealousy won't be easy, because it's been part of who I am for so long, but it will be so rewarding. =)
  • prettylikedrugs
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    I'm the same but on the different end of the spectrum! I get jealous when a girl walks past who fills out her clothes a lot better than I do. Someone who has meat and not just bone!
  • gel91
    gel91 Posts: 309
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    I can be quite a jealous one aswell. But when it gets to bad I just try to remeber, my boyfriend isn't with me because im beautiful but im beautiful because he loves me. something none of them can ever get from him :)
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    I used to be really jealous when I was younger. For me, it came from daddy issues unfortunately AND a critical mother. I had to work very hard on myself to overcome the beast. I'm still insecure sometimes but everyday I make it a point to love myself.

    Or maybe it's because I'm 32 and I grew out of it? I'm not sure but take a good look on the inside and see what's going on.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I used to be this way, but I never feel like this anymore. I don't have a boyfriend, I'm just referring to being jealous of other women in general. I don't mean this in a conceited way because I know that "hot" and "sexy" mean different things to different people, but it's rare that I come across a woman who I think is hotter or sexier than I am. (Clearly, I love myself.) If a guy decides he'd rather have some other chick, then he can have her. No sweat off my back.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    at the end of the say there is always SOMEONE who is prettier, thinner, has nicer hair, a better job, a better car etc etc...at some point you just have to let it go, and be thankful for what you have, instead of beating yourself up over what you havent got.
  • Riebop
    Riebop Posts: 275
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    Argh- any one else struggle with this?? I'm so tired of feeling insecure whenever a hot, skinny girl walks past and I'm with my boyfriend. . . it makes me feel so inadequate!! :(

    My husband points them out to me. At first it bothered me, but after a while I realized that he's coming home with me. It's like window shopping. Sure it's nice to look at it, but that doesn't mean I'm going to buy it. So, when he points one out, I give him my honest opinion. Sometimes I agree and sometimes I don't. It's like a little game now. I know he isn't going anywhere. If he wanted one of those skinny girls, he would have dated or married one of those skinny girls.
  • jljohnson
    jljohnson Posts: 719 Member
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    ugh... I struggle with this a lot... sometimes I feel like I'm jealous of everyone else! I either want to be thin, like them, or have a job, like theirs, or have a house, like theirs... it's ridiculous.

    When I get feelings like this, I ask myself, "Would I trade my entire life for their entire life?" When I think about it, everyone has struggles, and pasts that contribute to who they are today. I have a friend who is beautiful, but was abused as a child. Would I trade my loving parents and family that I'm so close to for that abuse, just to have the superficial beauty? Absolutely not! I have a friend that is skinnier than me, but struggles every day with an eating disorder. Would I take on that struggle for the rest of my life to shed a few more pounds? Not a chance. Big house - maybe they can't aford a family vacation because they have to pay the mortgage. Maybe they're tied to their job and miss out on family time to keep their position/pay. That dream job may have a bad boss or catty co-workers. Personally, I think people think "the grass is greener on the other side," but really it's not. I try to be very thankful everyday for my life, and not worry about what others have because it won't change anything.
  • fromwva
    fromwva Posts: 5 Member
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    same here ..he looks everytime..I know where you are coming from
  • DorkothyParker
    DorkothyParker Posts: 618 Member
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    Try living in Korea. :/