stop crapping on my happy....

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kashia09
kashia09 Posts: 15
in Motivation and Support
So, I was just curious how everyone deals with the people in their real life...don't get me wrong, I definitely count my MFP friends as real life people, but you know what I mean, the people that are right there in your actual face every single day. I have a few friends that like to grip about the fact that I'm working out and watching what and how much I eat now. Of course I have the friends that are happy that I'm getting healthy and yay for them, and extreme yay for my coworker/workout buddy bc without her I'd probably lose my mind, but what about the friends that don't get it? I have a couple of friends that though they say they are happy for me, they turn around and grip about the fact that I'm losing weight and they aren't or that they want to get junk food and fast food and get upset bc I'm not going to eat it with them. Then if I do go out to eat with them they fuss bc I'll get something healthier or eat a smaller portion than them. Other than this tid bit they are actually great friends to me, but for some reason when I'm excited about any progress I make or when I do something to maintain my course to a healthier me, they just decided that they should crap on my happy a little. Of course when I say something they tell me they are just joking, but seriously?? back the F off bc it's hard enough already.....Anywho, I was just wondering if anyone else out there has or is dealing with something like this and would like to know everyone's thoughts on the matter. Thanks :)

Replies

  • amina20
    amina20 Posts: 4 Member
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    Really they are just feeling insecure about themselves and pushing it back on you so they can have someone to blame other than their lack of commitment. I've been on both sides of the coin, envious when someone is losing and I'm not even trying and being the one struggling to not eat that huge meal they are stuffing their faces with. You just have to declare that this is me, get used to it. :laugh:
  • travishein
    travishein Posts: 78
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    I got over my coworker blues by stopping going out to lunches with them all together. i bring lunches in every day and eat in the office. usually alone.

    one other thing i recently started doing was to bring in a cutting board and big chef knife. and at lunch time start chopping peppers, onions, celery, and make fresh veggie with eggs and deli meat and cheese kinds of dishes in the microwave here.

    well, certainly the commentary and peer jabbing has entirely stopped now that i have me a big ol knife at the office.

    but no, not meaning to be scary or creepy. just having the hard core kitchen tools in the office shows them all I operate on an entirely different level now. I even recently brought in a digital scale. to measure the cheese and deli meats. i get the occasional "wow. that's hard core" comments now. but never the jabs and unsupportive commentary any more. I also never have to feel bad for turning them down, I just look forward to and enjoy my quiet time alone in the office when they all go out for lunch like every day. seriously, i don't even know how they can afford that kind of lifestyle. or the calorie budget. it used to be we'd go out only fridays, now its like pretty much every day. i prefer to blog on here anyway.

    well i guess my point is just be yourself and show them you are in it for the long run.
  • camy_chick
    camy_chick Posts: 277 Member
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    i agree with amina, they are insecure. i have family and friends that are like that. tell ya whats better, i have friends that support me no matter what size i am, but then you look at their facebook posts, and it's like "i could just slap a fat *****!" or "why do all these fat people think this or that" ya know? and i'm like, ok, you tell me i'm beautiful when you see me, but then you say something like that about "fat" people in general? and some people are just idiots. they don't get that being the "perfect" size isn't easy for everyone.

    and your friends are probably also subconsciously thinking that if you get fit, they will lose you as a friend, because you are doing things that they aren't. and you are going to meet other people doing the same as you.

    hopefully someday they will wise up and realize that you are doing this for a healthier you. and just remember, you are doing this for YOU. not for them. so who's opinion matters most? yours or theirs?
  • kashia09
    kashia09 Posts: 15
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    I got over my coworker blues by stopping going out to lunches with them all together. i bring lunches in every day and eat in the office. usually alone.

    one other thing i recently started doing was to bring in a cutting board and big chef knife. and at lunch time start chopping peppers, onions, celery, and make fresh veggie with eggs and deli meat and cheese kinds of dishes in the microwave here.

    well, certainly the commentary and peer jabbing has entirely stopped now that i have me a big ol knife at the office.

    but no, not meaning to be scary or creepy. just having the hard core kitchen tools in the office shows them all I operate on an entirely different level now. I even recently brought in a digital scale. to measure the cheese and deli meats. i get the occasional "wow. that's hard core" comments now. but never the jabs and unsupportive commentary any more. I also never have to feel bad for turning them down, I just look forward to and enjoy my quiet time alone in the office when they all go out for lunch like every day. seriously, i don't even know how they can afford that kind of lifestyle. or the calorie budget. it used to be we'd go out only fridays, now its like pretty much every day. i prefer to blog on here anyway.

    well i guess my point is just be yourself and show them you are in it for the long run.

    yeah, not so sure our extremist security guards here will be 100% ok with me bringing in giant knives, but perhaps I can find some less threatening chopping devices that won't get me escorted off the premises...I hadn't really thought about brining kitchen stuff like that to work, so that definitely helps. I bring my lunch and snacks every day, but apparently hadn't worked my brain around the fact it would make sense just to bring stuff like that to work since I am at work more than I am at home. Thanks for the input :)
  • sunshinethompson
    sunshinethompson Posts: 106 Member
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    I share with my co-workers who are very encouraging. My family even more encouraging. Fact is, "when you have dug deep inside and you're getting healthy for yourself, there's nothing anyone can say to get you down"!

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