Stress

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simi1421
simi1421 Posts: 30 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have been feeling kind of stressed out lately, and usually when I am stressed, I end up stress eating. I met this guy online two years ago, we chatted for a bit, and then we lost touch because I stopped responding as my work schedule along with school was a bit crazy. This year in September, we started talking again, and we really seemed to hit it off. We were talking on a daily basis up until this Tuesday November 14th, even while I was on vacation in India - and he even tried to call me on Tuesday. But, I've been feeling like maybe he's trying to cut down on talking, he talks a lot about how busy at work. So, after Tuesday, I avoided sending him any messages - so I haven't heard from him either. I was looking at old messages today and accidentally dialed him but I got a busy signal..so I just messaged him to let him know I called him by mistake. But, I'm not sure if I should keep trying to talk to him, or let it die off. It's stressing me out a bit, because I felt like we really have a connection and could have something. I'm thinking to not message him again after today - unless he messages me first. But it makes me sad, up until last week - I had a feeling that something grand was going to come out of this. Any advice?

Replies

  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    I'm confused. Isn't it only Thursday, November 16? You said you spoke with him daily through the 14th. It doesn't seem like a big deal to skip one day, especially if he's busy at work. Am I missing something?
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    Yeah, ask him. No games.

    "Haven't heard from you for a while. What's up? Do you still want to continue talking?"
  • iamthemotherofdogs
    iamthemotherofdogs Posts: 562 Member
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    Communication.
  • FitGamerSmoak
    FitGamerSmoak Posts: 224 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    I'm confused. Isn't it only Thursday, November 16? You said you spoke with him daily through the 14th. It doesn't seem like a big deal to skip one day, especially if he's busy at work. Am I missing something?

    This....It's only been one day. With lives and such one day is not a big deal. Some honesty here, if you are expecting to talk to him every day, then you might be expecting too much. My husband and I sometimes don't talk for a few days because we are both super busy, it's a hi here and there but when we have time we make the time for each other. But one day is not that serious. Especially if you both work or do school or whatever the case may be.
  • Sunna_W
    Sunna_W Posts: 744 Member
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    Try to find someone in-real-life in your own zip code or area code... online isn't real life unless you have met face to face and have a connection - then that is different. And, the person should want to and be able to spend time with you in real life on a regular basis during normal hours, otherwise, maybe you are being two-timed... or they are married. So far you have wasted a lot of time on this person and things have not progressed....

    I don't know where you live, but in the USA they have things like www.meetup.com and that has millions of groups where single people (or couples) can meet and do things like book clubs, hiking, dog walking, etc. near where they live. Get a friend to join your hobby with you so that they can look out for you. Another thing to consider is religious venues have events for helping singles to mingle....
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,996 Member
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    I found that practicing Non Attachment while online dating reduced suffering immensely.
  • Sunna_W
    Sunna_W Posts: 744 Member
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    They meetup in India... https://www.meetup.com/cities/in/
  • toxikon
    toxikon Posts: 2,384 Member
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    I've done the whole 'long distance chat every day' relationships and they can really be stressful and unfulfilling, honestly. If you don't have any solid plans of meeting up in person and eventually doing a local relationship, it's not worth the headache and heartache, IMHO.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    Sir and I are glued at the hip and when hes not home, live on the phone/bluetooth (hes only home very other week). but even for US ... a day of no talking or minimal communication isnt a big deal.

    talk to the dude. ask him if hes still interested. but its also only been what, one? two days? relax.

    I will also say if neither of you has intent to move to the other, maybe just forget it all and be casual fb friends from high school ....
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    simi1421 wrote: »
    I have been feeling kind of stressed out lately, and usually when I am stressed, I end up stress eating. I met this guy online two years ago, we chatted for a bit, and then we lost touch because I stopped responding as my work schedule along with school was a bit crazy. This year in September, we started talking again, and we really seemed to hit it off. We were talking on a daily basis up until this Tuesday November 14th, even while I was on vacation in India - and he even tried to call me on Tuesday. But, I've been feeling like maybe he's trying to cut down on talking, he talks a lot about how busy at work. So, after Tuesday, I avoided sending him any messages - so I haven't heard from him either. I was looking at old messages today and accidentally dialed him but I got a busy signal..so I just messaged him to let him know I called him by mistake. But, I'm not sure if I should keep trying to talk to him, or let it die off. It's stressing me out a bit, because I felt like we really have a connection and could have something. I'm thinking to not message him again after today - unless he messages me first. But it makes me sad, up until last week - I had a feeling that something grand was going to come out of this. Any advice?

    Sounds like you have just cut it off by saying you dialed him by accident. Harsh!
  • simi1421
    simi1421 Posts: 30 Member
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    You guys are right - I might be reading too much into it because it's only been two days. But I'm used to people from online ghosting a person. I'll try meetup.com too to see how it goes... and I don't expect to talk every day. What I DO expect is for this guy to ghost me.... so kind of just waiting for it to happen...
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    simi1421 wrote: »
    You guys are right - I might be reading too much into it because it's only been two days. But I'm used to people from online ghosting a person. I'll try meetup.com too to see how it goes... and I don't expect to talk every day. What I DO expect is for this guy to ghost me.... so kind of just waiting for it to happen...

    Don't worry about it, he'll be banging someone else by now.
  • FitGamerSmoak
    FitGamerSmoak Posts: 224 Member
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    Maybe you're doing too much talking too soon and too much assuming. Let it happen naturally, and the fact like someone else stated that you left a message stating you only called him by accident, he could take it to meant that you didn't really want to talk to him. Try something local.
  • frida001
    frida001 Posts: 437 Member
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    Focus on yourself - not on him. Pack celery, radishes, cucumbers and keep them handy for stress eating.
  • simi1421
    simi1421 Posts: 30 Member
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    I meant that I dialed by accident because it's a weekday, and someone would be at work at 10:00 am on a week day.
  • mph323
    mph323 Posts: 3,565 Member
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    simi1421 wrote: »
    I have been feeling kind of stressed out lately, and usually when I am stressed, I end up stress eating. I met this guy online two years ago, we chatted for a bit, and then we lost touch because I stopped responding as my work schedule along with school was a bit crazy. This year in September, we started talking again, and we really seemed to hit it off. We were talking on a daily basis up until this Tuesday November 14th, even while I was on vacation in India - and he even tried to call me on Tuesday. But, I've been feeling like maybe he's trying to cut down on talking, he talks a lot about how busy at work. So, after Tuesday, I avoided sending him any messages - so I haven't heard from him either. I was looking at old messages today and accidentally dialed him but I got a busy signal..so I just messaged him to let him know I called him by mistake. But, I'm not sure if I should keep trying to talk to him, or let it die off. It's stressing me out a bit, because I felt like we really have a connection and could have something. I'm thinking to not message him again after today - unless he messages me first. But it makes me sad, up until last week - I had a feeling that something grand was going to come out of this. Any advice?

    This may be his situation. It happens - not intentional ghosting but life happens in an on-line relationship. I'm in the camp of asking directly how he feels about the relationship at this point.
  • simi1421
    simi1421 Posts: 30 Member
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    If he ever messages me back - I'll definitely ask! I do wonder, if you talk to someone too much, too fast - is there a way to rectify it?

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