Advice from experienced losers in their 40s please!!

hermightychelle · November 2017

I could really use some input and encouragement. I am a 45 year old female trying desperately to lose 30-35 pounds. Since having my baby 4 years ago I’ve been a yo-yo dieter with little success. In the last 2 months I have been fully committed to 4 workouts a week (cardio and weights) and I’ve been improving good eating habits. I have maintained and I’m grateful for that but I’ve not lost. My question is am I REALLY going to need to be THAT strict with my food calories? I’ve not been logging foods because I want this to be a lifestyle and not so much a diet and I struggle with the “all or nothing” concept for life. I’m upping my veggies and decreasing my sugar and bread intake significantly but I still eat carbs daily. To actually lose weight at my age, do you believe I need to be ALL in and super strict for 6 months or more?? My blood work indicates no thyroid or other issues. Could it simply be my age and I’m done with being thinner??? Any advice is greatly appreciated. This has proven to be a very hard challenge for me. I’m so discouraged after weighing in this morning!

estherdragonbat · November 2017

I'm 45 and have dropped 93 lbs in just under 13 months. All I did to start with was a calorie deficit. Eventually, I started focusing on hitting protein and iron and just letting everything else fall where it falls. I rarely have bakery treats and keep homemade desserts to a max of 200 calories/serving, but I don't care whether those 200 calories are mostly sugar, flour, or fat. TBH, it's usually flour that gets reduced over sugar. (Or some of the oil getting switched out for applesauce).

I'm not super-strict about macros at all. And I just try to hit/be slightly under my calorie target. (I exercise and eat back 50%).

There are foods I've cut back on, but nothing's eliminated.

TimothyFish · November 2017

Keep in mind that our bodies naturally keep us near our current weight. If we are more active we get hungrier. If we eat more than normal we feel stuffed and cut back a little. In order to lose weight we have to go against our natural tendency. This is why it is helpful to track calories. Once you have lost weight you don't have to track it quite as closely, but tracking is still helpful.

Lillymoo01 · November 2017

If you are not losing but maintaining your weight you are not eating at a deficit. You can continue eating what you are eating, just less of it. I'd suggest counting calories, even if just for a short period of time, just to get a feel of what your required number of needed calories looks like to give you more of an idea of proper portion sizes.

kommodevaran · November 2017

Everybody, regardless of age, lose weight the same way - by being in a consistent calorie deficit. The larger the deficit, the faster the loss. A calorie deficit is what people talk about when they say "eat less, move more". The most straightforward way to make sure you are indeed eating less, is to track calorie intake, here on MFP. For that method to work, you have to be accurate. Sloppy logging will lead to poor results.

You also need to be patient. Weightloss is slow. This goes hand in hand with losing the "all or nothing". You can eat anything you want, you can exercise or not exercise, in fact, success in this relies on sticking to a calorie deficit, for a long time, and you won't stick to doing something you don't want to and don't have to.

To maintain weight afterwards, you also need some set of boundaries. For the most part, they will be very similar to what you need for weightloss, so find and develop habits you want to keep.

Marjayhan · November 2017

Girl i know exactly how you feel, heading towards 42 and i find it harder to lose the weight now than i ever did in my 20's or 30's. Raging I just ate myself into 30lbs heavier. You will definitely need to record the calories you're eating. I found the MFP app is brilliant cos it has a scanner so you can scan the barcode of the exact thing your eating. Also be mindful of the portions you're eating and calibrate your goals /weight etc into MFP to see how much calories you should be eating in order to lose the weight. Mine says 1200 which i find very difficult to live off! So if i do eat any extra I make sure i go on the exercise bike to work off the extra I ate but i try not to. You do have to stick to it religiously , in order to lose weight, unfortunately, otherwise you can't keep track of what you are eating , its best to record the progress, and then when you reach your target weight, make sure to recalibrate your goals/weight maintenance into the MFP tool to see the calories you should be eating to maintain. Eventually you won't rely on the app when you have been on it a while and kinda know the gists of the calories of some foods and know when enough is enough at the end of the day. I also find not eating after 7pm- 8pm helps as well ,even though it's so difficult! I wish you luck!

krael65 · November 2017

I'm 52 years old now, but I had twins at 42. I gained 60+ pounds with the pregnancy. I am now the lowest weight I've been in over 30 years. I was able to lose weight by counting calories and weighing daily. I continue this into maintenance. If I stop logging and/or tracking my weight, I find the pounds creep back. I believe it is possible to lose and/or maintain without tracking, but for me it's become a way of life. I've accepted that for me to lose or maintain, I must track.

P.S. I used to think losing weight was harder the older I got (eating "healthy" and exercising consistently). But then I found that I was able to lose just fine (between .5 and 1 lb. per week) when I actually tracked and recorded my calories.

AnnPT77 · November 2017

You may not need to be that strict with your food calories, but you will need to reduce the average number of calories you eat daily (or increase activity while holding eating constant). You certainly needn't do anything crazy extreme.

You've already made a number of positive changes - kudos! This is just one more.

With so little left to lose, your healthiest choice would be to lose a pound a week or less. That means finding at most 500 calories in your average day that you can comfortably live without.

You don't have to cut any specific food or macronutrient, you don't necessarily have to log your eating (unless that helps you).

Just think about your eating, find something that's not a big satisfier or nutritional contributor, and reduce it. It could be 1/4C oatmeal daily instead of 1/3C, lighter salad dressing, a wine spritzer rather than a full pour, poached egg instead of fried, more veggies with less pasta, half the peanut butter, open face sandwich instead of regular, whatever. Just find and make the easiest adjustments.

Keep doing this, and weight will very gradually start to creep downward. A weight trending app (like Happy Scale for iOS, Libra for Android, Trendweight on the web) might help you visualize this, since it will require patience.

At the same time, work on moving a little more. You already have a good exercise schedule, but adding a bit to it - time or intensity - is one option, if that's sustainable. Beyond that, consider daily life. Fidget more, park at the far end of the parking lot, do some squats or counter push-ups while you wait for the microwave, use a basket instead of a cart at the store, don't sit if you can stand, don't stand if you can move. It makes a difference.

For me, it was possible to lose weight for a while just by reducing eating, then I started to level off, still above my desired fatness. Starting to log my eating was a game-changer for me at that point, because it brought into sharp focus the eating changes I could most easily and comfortably make to meet my goals, without lengthy experimentation or guessing. It only took a few minutes a day, and since I don't have an obsessive bent, it didn't become an obsession. I still eat in restaurants where I don't know the calories, eat at friends' homes without a food scale (LOL!), etc. But not everyone needs to log: You may not.

I lost 50+ pounds at age 59-60, in slightly less than a year, and have maintained a healthy weight in the 120s at 5'5" for the nearly 2 years since. Oh, and I'm hypothyroid (properly medicated), besides. You can do this!

lucerorojo · November 2017

I'm 52 and just started on MFP the last week of June 2017. I'm definitely not an expert, but as of this morning have lost 30 lbs. logging my foods on MFP and following the calorie recommendations. I gained a lot of weight in the last 6 years (changes, stress, etc), and set a goal to lose 100 lbs at the end of June. I was convinced that I couldn't lose any weight but I had not tried calorie counting before. I had lost 15-20 lbs. here and there in the past and for most of my 20s, 30s I was not overweight. I always regained because I'd go back to eating what I ate before losing--I had no idea how many calories I had been eating before since I didn't track them.

For me, counting the calories has been fantastic. I know now what I'm eating and how much, have a record of it, and can choose what I want to eat and how I want to exercise. I plan to continue using MFP and tracking once I reach my goal because I just need to know. For me it is not worth it to go back to intuitive eating and "guessing." It is very easy because MFP has a cell phone app. You can use that as well as your computer. Takes a few seconds to log in the foods, and the benefit is tremendous IMO. I wish I had started using it sooner.

susanp57 · November 2017

hermightychelle wrote: »

I could really use some input and encouragement. I am a 45 year old female trying desperately to lose 30-35 pounds. Since having my baby 4 years ago I’ve been a yo-yo dieter with little success. In the last 2 months I have been fully committed to 4 workouts a week (cardio and weights) and I’ve been improving good eating habits. I have maintained and I’m grateful for that but I’ve not lost. My question is am I REALLY going to need to be THAT strict with my food calories? I’ve not been logging foods because I want this to be a lifestyle and not so much a diet and I struggle with the “all or nothing” concept for life. I’m upping my veggies and decreasing my sugar and bread intake significantly but I still eat carbs daily. To actually lose weight at my age, do you believe I need to be ALL in and super strict for 6 months or more?? My blood work indicates no thyroid or other issues. Could it simply be my age and I’m done with being thinner??? Any advice is greatly appreciated. This has proven to be a very hard challenge for me. I’m so discouraged after weighing in this morning!

Is what you are currently doing working? Apparently not. It has nothing to do with your age. I'm 62. I lost weight the same way someone half my age can do. I counted my calories, everything that went into my mouth. I accounted for exercise. I lost to goal. It doesn't mean you can't have a treat. Just log it.

BTW, there is nothing saying you have to give up carbohydrates. Just log them.

HDBKLM · November 2017

I'm 43 and I've lost 40 pounds in 6 months with no exercise other than long walks and occasional living room aerobics. It's interesting how you describe your situation because I am conceptualising this weight loss thing the same way as you—i.e., a lifestyle shift but not a diet as such—but have actually taken the opposite approach. I haven't changed what I eat at all, I just eat less, and that's exactly why I DO log my calories. I feel less deprived that way because there aren't specific foods I have to say no to. A few days ago I ate a 300-gram (2/3 of a pound) burrata as basically a steak. Yes, my dinner was a 700-calorie ball of cheese stuffed with cream (there was a cherry tomato, basil, and olive oil 'garnish'), but I just made it fit in with the rest of what I decided to eat that day according to the calories assigned by MFP. You can see why I don't look at it as a diet.

brig220 · November 2017

You don't have to be super strict to be a normal weight. After you spend some time better understanding how much and what you need to eat to loose, or maintain, it will become your NEW NORMAL way of eating. You should be able to loose a good clip with a 1500-1800 calories a day. That's 3 decent size meals with vegies, carbs, meat, and an afternoon snack (that's the way I do it). It's all about portions, quantities, choices, and some exercise to help with the deficit.

Don't forget that your are your child's role model. In the long run, your child will learn how to feed himself by copying the way you feed your family. If you serve proper portions, with tons of vegies, and no junk, that is the way he/she will eat.

saralukies · November 2017

I'm 41, I've lost 20 pounds and kept it off for almost a year, and all the above advice looks good to me. Logging your food is super important. As others have stated, it isn't what you're eating, but how much. I haven't given up anything I like. Now, as I am currently maintaining, I don't necessarily log every day, since I am pretty familiar with calorie counts on my most common meals. But I do keep track of things by weighing myself every day, and if I notice a creeping trend up, I log for a few days. I never would have lost anything by not logging. I really had no idea how much I was eating.

RoxieDawn · November 2017

I am now 49, started MFP when I was 45 and I am in the last stages of perimenopause now. Being short, older and sedentary outside of exercise I do not get very much to eat in general and truthfully without keeping up with my intake its very easy for me to over eat. Do I have to restrict the types of calories? no, just need to keep how many in check.

Adding in resistance training and other exercise has been a life saver for me during this process but when I first started MFP (reading tons of dos and dont's in the forums) I tried a lot of things thinking this or that was the key to my weight loss (various things did not work like going low carb, etc..) So in the end I learned I CAN eat just about what ever I wanted to just LESS of it. I still eat out, I attend holidays, vacations and social gatherings, etc.

My goals change (fitness and exercise goals) and I still log cause it helps me stay compliant with reaching those specified goals. Not to say anyone has to or needs to remain a food tracker forever. Each person will need to find that fine line in their individual balance and adherence to losing and moreover maintaining their weight.

GottaBurnEmAll · November 2017

I tried the route of being mindful and it didn't work for me.

I found tracking my calories and learning about how many I needed to maintain, lose, and lose at a sustainable, sane rate was key. It had nothing to do with being strict, but it had everything to do with keeping an eye on things and just getting a handle on what I was doing with some tools I hadn't been using that opened my eyes to how much food I was really eating.

I've had weight problems my whole life (since I was a preteen) and have tried so many different diets. I've learned over the long haul that giving up anything doesn't really work, and I can eat just about anything I want (sometimes I decide things aren't worth the calories, though), and that some days are worth ignoring diets.

I now weigh less than I did when I was that overweight preteen, btw, and I'm 55. I started down this path when I was 52.

hermightychelle · November 2017

These are very encouraging comments! Thank you so much for your time and knowledge. I’m going to commit to logging. As hard as I think I try, I’d bet money I’m eating more than I should. Thank you!!

MossiO · November 2017

I too hated the idea of logging. It just seemed so contrary to the idealized image I had of myself, laughing and eating salad and doing yoga because I enjoyed it.

But when I decided I wanted to lose weight, I also decided that the MOST IMPORTANT aspect was keeping it off. So I did research. And tracking all food is a common activity for people who keep weight off. So I decided I would just track my food forever. It's now not a bother at all; it's essentially a little ritual in my day. Plus it's just really good information to have.

I'm on the super slow track--30 pounds since January, because I'm not all that strict with myself. I'm 47, but my age didn't have anything to do with rate of loss.

canadianlbs · November 2017

hermightychelle wrote: »

To actually lose weight at my age, do you believe I need to be ALL in and super strict for 6 months or more??

nah, although i can only speak for/of myself. it's like any other long road trip, ime. you CAN take the freeway and just drive balls-out until you get there with no rest or distractions or little stops on the way, or you can take the side-roads and be more leisurely. you can even hike it on foot, if you feel like it

i'm 52 now, got serious exactly four years ago, and i logged for a couple of months and then got to where i just-couldn't and didn't want to. by that point i had a much better general idea of what i was eating, where my cutoff points were, and how much leeway i had or didn't have. scale upticks and stalls made me crazy while i was all hyper-focused, but now i'm more easy-going and i just keep an eye on it to see what the trend is. [edit: also, i probably started at over 150 pounds and did lose 30 the first time around; t hen i bulked back up to 145 because #lifting and have brought it back down into the 120's again this past year, with this kind of approach. so it seems like this works for me and i haven't logged anything for idk, maybe two years.]

don't exercise in order to lose weight, is the suggestion i'd give if i was only allowed to give one. do it for other reasons in their own right, and don't worry too much about whether the scale says you're on the right track for that stuff. the scale can't tell you how much fitter or stronger you are, and your fitness/strength can't tell you how much fat you still have. they're separate things, and i found that separating them kept me going. if i was frustrated or sad about the scale, moving my focus to health and activity progress for a while gave me a nice mental break until it got moving again.

good luck and hang in. it's all probably going to be fine.

MossiO wrote: »

I too hated the idea of logging. It just seemed so contrary to the idealized image I had of myself, laughing and eating salad and doing yoga because I enjoyed it.

HAH. loved this, and i agree. be you, whichever pathway you take. you're already good enough to do it; you don't have to turn yourself to someone else.

jo_nz · November 2017

Tracking and working out my intake has been very interesting for me - and useful to see it all logged and decide where is easiest for me to trim some excess.

I have 2 skinny kids (8 & 10yrs) and a very tall and active husband, so they certainly don't need any calorie restrictions. But looking at the numbers on MFP (for me and for my DH) helped me to see that my own portions had crept up to closer to the size of my hubby's. He needs to eat over twice what I do in a day!

It's still a work in progress for me, but I have found I prefer to cut down mostly during the day so I can still enjoy a relatively big family meal at dinner with the family (but smaller than what I had got in the habit of eating).

I don't find I need to be too strict (I could be stricter and get there faster, but happy to take it slowly and enjoy the ride). But I do need to keep in mind my goals and that treats are just for, well, treats. Too many treats, too often was a big part of my problem.

nickssweetheart · November 2017

Here's a little incentive, if it helps:

Keeping a food diary doubles weight loss.

Advice from experienced losers in their 40s please!!

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