Advice from experienced losers in their 40s please!!

hermightychelle
hermightychelle Posts: 25 Member
edited November 2017 in Health and Weight Loss
I could really use some input and encouragement. I am a 45 year old female trying desperately to lose 30-35 pounds. Since having my baby 4 years ago I’ve been a yo-yo dieter with little success. In the last 2 months I have been fully committed to 4 workouts a week (cardio and weights) and I’ve been improving good eating habits. I have maintained and I’m grateful for that but I’ve not lost. My question is am I REALLY going to need to be THAT strict with my food calories? I’ve not been logging foods because I want this to be a lifestyle and not so much a diet and I struggle with the “all or nothing” concept for life. I’m upping my veggies and decreasing my sugar and bread intake significantly but I still eat carbs daily. To actually lose weight at my age, do you believe I need to be ALL in and super strict for 6 months or more?? My blood work indicates no thyroid or other issues. Could it simply be my age and I’m done with being thinner??? Any advice is greatly appreciated. This has proven to be a very hard challenge for me. I’m so discouraged after weighing in this morning!
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Replies

  • estherdragonbat
    estherdragonbat Posts: 5,283 Member
    I'm 45 and have dropped 93 lbs in just under 13 months. All I did to start with was a calorie deficit. Eventually, I started focusing on hitting protein and iron and just letting everything else fall where it falls. I rarely have bakery treats and keep homemade desserts to a max of 200 calories/serving, but I don't care whether those 200 calories are mostly sugar, flour, or fat. TBH, it's usually flour that gets reduced over sugar. (Or some of the oil getting switched out for applesauce).

    I'm not super-strict about macros at all. And I just try to hit/be slightly under my calorie target. (I exercise and eat back 50%).

    There are foods I've cut back on, but nothing's eliminated.
  • Marjayhan
    Marjayhan Posts: 59 Member
    Girl i know exactly how you feel, heading towards 42 and i find it harder to lose the weight now than i ever did in my 20's or 30's. Raging I just ate myself into 30lbs heavier. You will definitely need to record the calories you're eating. I found the MFP app is brilliant cos it has a scanner so you can scan the barcode of the exact thing your eating. Also be mindful of the portions you're eating and calibrate your goals /weight etc into MFP to see how much calories you should be eating in order to lose the weight. Mine says 1200 which i find very difficult to live off! So if i do eat any extra I make sure i go on the exercise bike to work off the extra I ate but i try not to. You do have to stick to it religiously , in order to lose weight, unfortunately, otherwise you can't keep track of what you are eating , its best to record the progress, and then when you reach your target weight, make sure to recalibrate your goals/weight maintenance into the MFP tool to see the calories you should be eating to maintain. Eventually you won't rely on the app when you have been on it a while and kinda know the gists of the calories of some foods and know when enough is enough at the end of the day. I also find not eating after 7pm- 8pm helps as well ,even though it's so difficult! I wish you luck!
  • lucerorojo
    lucerorojo Posts: 790 Member
    I'm 52 and just started on MFP the last week of June 2017. I'm definitely not an expert, but as of this morning have lost 30 lbs. logging my foods on MFP and following the calorie recommendations. I gained a lot of weight in the last 6 years (changes, stress, etc), and set a goal to lose 100 lbs at the end of June. I was convinced that I couldn't lose any weight but I had not tried calorie counting before. I had lost 15-20 lbs. here and there in the past and for most of my 20s, 30s I was not overweight. I always regained because I'd go back to eating what I ate before losing--I had no idea how many calories I had been eating before since I didn't track them.

    For me, counting the calories has been fantastic. I know now what I'm eating and how much, have a record of it, and can choose what I want to eat and how I want to exercise. I plan to continue using MFP and tracking once I reach my goal because I just need to know. For me it is not worth it to go back to intuitive eating and "guessing." It is very easy because MFP has a cell phone app. You can use that as well as your computer. Takes a few seconds to log in the foods, and the benefit is tremendous IMO. I wish I had started using it sooner.
  • HDBKLM
    HDBKLM Posts: 466 Member
    I'm 43 and I've lost 40 pounds in 6 months with no exercise other than long walks and occasional living room aerobics. It's interesting how you describe your situation because I am conceptualising this weight loss thing the same way as you—i.e., a lifestyle shift but not a diet as such—but have actually taken the opposite approach. I haven't changed what I eat at all, I just eat less, and that's exactly why I DO log my calories. I feel less deprived that way because there aren't specific foods I have to say no to. A few days ago I ate a 300-gram (2/3 of a pound) burrata as basically a steak. Yes, my dinner was a 700-calorie ball of cheese stuffed with cream (there was a cherry tomato, basil, and olive oil 'garnish'), but I just made it fit in with the rest of what I decided to eat that day according to the calories assigned by MFP. You can see why I don't look at it as a diet.
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  • brig220
    brig220 Posts: 52 Member
    edited November 2017
    You don't have to be super strict to be a normal weight. After you spend some time better understanding how much and what you need to eat to loose, or maintain, it will become your NEW NORMAL way of eating. You should be able to loose a good clip with a 1500-1800 calories a day. That's 3 decent size meals with vegies, carbs, meat, and an afternoon snack (that's the way I do it). It's all about portions, quantities, choices, and some exercise to help with the deficit.

    Don't forget that your are your child's role model. In the long run, your child will learn how to feed himself by copying the way you feed your family. If you serve proper portions, with tons of vegies, and no junk, that is the way he/she will eat.
  • saralukies
    saralukies Posts: 24 Member
    I'm 41, I've lost 20 pounds and kept it off for almost a year, and all the above advice looks good to me. Logging your food is super important. As others have stated, it isn't what you're eating, but how much. I haven't given up anything I like. Now, as I am currently maintaining, I don't necessarily log every day, since I am pretty familiar with calorie counts on my most common meals. But I do keep track of things by weighing myself every day, and if I notice a creeping trend up, I log for a few days. I never would have lost anything by not logging. I really had no idea how much I was eating.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    I am now 49, started MFP when I was 45 and I am in the last stages of perimenopause now. Being short, older and sedentary outside of exercise I do not get very much to eat in general and truthfully without keeping up with my intake its very easy for me to over eat. Do I have to restrict the types of calories? no, just need to keep how many in check.

    Adding in resistance training and other exercise has been a life saver for me during this process but when I first started MFP (reading tons of dos and dont's in the forums) I tried a lot of things thinking this or that was the key to my weight loss (various things did not work like going low carb, etc..) So in the end I learned I CAN eat just about what ever I wanted to just LESS of it. I still eat out, I attend holidays, vacations and social gatherings, etc.

    My goals change (fitness and exercise goals) and I still log cause it helps me stay compliant with reaching those specified goals. Not to say anyone has to or needs to remain a food tracker forever. Each person will need to find that fine line in their individual balance and adherence to losing and moreover maintaining their weight.
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    I tried the route of being mindful and it didn't work for me.

    I found tracking my calories and learning about how many I needed to maintain, lose, and lose at a sustainable, sane rate was key. It had nothing to do with being strict, but it had everything to do with keeping an eye on things and just getting a handle on what I was doing with some tools I hadn't been using that opened my eyes to how much food I was really eating.

    I've had weight problems my whole life (since I was a preteen) and have tried so many different diets. I've learned over the long haul that giving up anything doesn't really work, and I can eat just about anything I want (sometimes I decide things aren't worth the calories, though), and that some days are worth ignoring diets.

    I now weigh less than I did when I was that overweight preteen, btw, and I'm 55. I started down this path when I was 52.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    edited November 2017
    To actually lose weight at my age, do you believe I need to be ALL in and super strict for 6 months or more??

    nah, although i can only speak for/of myself. it's like any other long road trip, ime. you CAN take the freeway and just drive balls-out until you get there with no rest or distractions or little stops on the way, or you can take the side-roads and be more leisurely. you can even hike it on foot, if you feel like it :)

    i'm 52 now, got serious exactly four years ago, and i logged for a couple of months and then got to where i just-couldn't and didn't want to. by that point i had a much better general idea of what i was eating, where my cutoff points were, and how much leeway i had or didn't have. scale upticks and stalls made me crazy while i was all hyper-focused, but now i'm more easy-going and i just keep an eye on it to see what the trend is. [edit: also, i probably started at over 150 pounds and did lose 30 the first time around; t hen i bulked back up to 145 because #lifting and have brought it back down into the 120's again this past year, with this kind of approach. so it seems like this works for me and i haven't logged anything for idk, maybe two years.]

    don't exercise in order to lose weight, is the suggestion i'd give if i was only allowed to give one. do it for other reasons in their own right, and don't worry too much about whether the scale says you're on the right track for that stuff. the scale can't tell you how much fitter or stronger you are, and your fitness/strength can't tell you how much fat you still have. they're separate things, and i found that separating them kept me going. if i was frustrated or sad about the scale, moving my focus to health and activity progress for a while gave me a nice mental break until it got moving again.

    good luck and hang in. it's all probably going to be fine.
    MossiO wrote: »
    I too hated the idea of logging. It just seemed so contrary to the idealized image I had of myself, laughing and eating salad and doing yoga because I enjoyed it.

    HAH. loved this, and i agree. be you, whichever pathway you take. you're already good enough to do it; you don't have to turn yourself to someone else.

  • jo_nz
    jo_nz Posts: 548 Member
    Tracking and working out my intake has been very interesting for me - and useful to see it all logged and decide where is easiest for me to trim some excess.

    I have 2 skinny kids (8 & 10yrs) and a very tall and active husband, so they certainly don't need any calorie restrictions. But looking at the numbers on MFP (for me and for my DH) helped me to see that my own portions had crept up to closer to the size of my hubby's. He needs to eat over twice what I do in a day!

    It's still a work in progress for me, but I have found I prefer to cut down mostly during the day so I can still enjoy a relatively big family meal at dinner with the family (but smaller than what I had got in the habit of eating).

    I don't find I need to be too strict (I could be stricter and get there faster, but happy to take it slowly and enjoy the ride). But I do need to keep in mind my goals and that treats are just for, well, treats. Too many treats, too often was a big part of my problem.
  • nickssweetheart
    nickssweetheart Posts: 874 Member
    Here's a little incentive, if it helps:

    Keeping a food diary doubles weight loss.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
    The longer you log, the easier it gets. I’m 52 and have been at this for 2 years (80# lost). Here’s my pro tip....select entries in a round number of grams. For example “butternut squash - 100 grams”. It’s easier math than ounces. All the old crappy entries, like “walnuts - 2.8 ounces” linger in your diary forever!

    Also, the bar scanner can be wrong and the recipe builder is your friend.
  • LAWoman72
    LAWoman72 Posts: 2,846 Member
    I'm 50, started counting calories again at 48. I have lost 60 lbs. Yes, personally I do need to count carefully, weigh and log.
  • _piaffe
    _piaffe Posts: 163 Member
    Almost 43 and pretty much all of the above. Best shape of my life. Focused on recomp, and fitness and athletic goals.

    Committing to logging is the way. But make that committing to logging with a food scale.
  • DX2JX2
    DX2JX2 Posts: 1,921 Member
    I just turned 42 and lost about 40-ish pounds in 6 months.

    You do have to be a bit strict with yourself while trying to lose because you have to run at a deficit in order to see results. The margin of error is much tighter and weighing/logging is one of the easier ways to make sure you stay on target.

    If you take the long-game approach, the permanent lifestyle change really kicks in after you've lost the weight you want to lose. I no longer log now that I'm in maintenance but I do keep a loose estimate of my daily calories to make sure that I'm more or less where I need to be. I also still weigh in every couple of days so I can watch for long-term trends.

    That said, I'm pretty much back to life as normal, with the exception that I exercise more than I used to and that I now have an understanding of what a 'normal' portion size looks like (and I do keep my portion size references 'fresh' by weighing out a couple of meals a week). I do allow myself to indulge once in a while but make sure to balance it out over time.
  • mburgess458
    mburgess458 Posts: 480 Member
    I lost about 30 lbs when I was 23 and then lost the same 30 lbs plus some when I was 47. No real difference for me but I was still able to exercise and everything so my approach wasn't all that different. It was actually easier for me at 47 because my friends weren't wanting to go out drinking all the time. Empty alcohol calories add up fast.
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    I'd suggest logging for a couple of week just to assess where your diet is at. Then you can make some mental adjustments and go from there. Unless you know your intake, you're really only guessing.

    If you REALLY don't want to do that, then you need to mentally reduce your intake. Don't just sub "healthy" foods for unhealthy... actually cut back on snack, reduce portion sizes, or whatever is easiest for you to sustain.
  • Goal179
    Goal179 Posts: 314 Member
    edited November 2017
    I am morbidly obese, so I am sure that my body functions much less efficiently than yours. So I am not sure that my example is a good one for you, but it may help motivate you. I am 44 and I have lost over 50 pounds. I do hear people talk about "set weight" and you can only lose as much weight as your body has pre-determined it wants to lose. But I believe that you can push past that regardless of age, body type or condition. It all comes down to your diet. It is a very good idea to be pretty strict on yourself after you reach a certain age. Limiting sugars, carbs, etc. at least until you get to a more comfortable weight is the best way to go. Watch the calories for a while until you become comfortable with what you can eat and what you shouldn't. Eventually you will learn your body and know what causes problems/weight gain, etc. Once you get to maintenence, you will need to strike a balance with what you did to lose the weight and what you did the gain the weight in the first place. =0) I absolutely log logging on MFP because I can download my stats and graph them and compare them against my mood, weight, exercise logs, ailments, etc. You can really develop a full picture of what is going on with you by just committing to logging.

    Age doesn't matter. You can do this. I still have 60 pounds to go, but I have no doubt that I can get it done. You can too. Find a eating plan that works for you. People will often say that food choices don't matter and only calories matter...but that can vary from person to person depending on your health and specific metabolism. Calories is the first place you should start, then clean up your diet from there. But calorie restriction alone should be able to get at least that first 20 pounds off. Understand your TDEE and BMR and all that good stuff to make sure you are not restricting calories too much and lowering your metabolism. Ohh and exercise helps. Wont' solve all of your issues without being coupled with good diet, but it definitely helps. Good Luck....you can do this!!!
  • piperdown44
    piperdown44 Posts: 958 Member
    I logged but it didn't make much of a difference until I got a food scale and really learned what portion sizes are supposed to be. Quite the eye opener actually. Used a food scale for close to 8 months and then backed off using it as I've got a good idea (now) what the portion sizes are going to look like.

    Give you an example. Bought a whole new York strip loin this past weekend (couldn't resist $3.99 per lb) and took it home to cut into steaks. After trimming it and cutting it into steaks I figured I'd see how close I was to actual weight versus eyeballing it. Most are right between 7.5 - 8.2 ounces according to my digital scale.
  • stanmann571
    stanmann571 Posts: 5,727 Member
    Goal179 wrote: »
    I am morbidly obese, so I am sure that my body functions much less sufficiently than yours. So I am not sure that my example is a good one for you, but it may help motivate you. I am 44 and I have lost over 50 pounds. I do hear people talk about "set weight" and you can only lose as much weight as your body has pre-determined it wants to lose. But I believe that you can push past that regardless of age, body type or condition. It all comes down to your diet. It is a very good idea to be pretty strict on yourself after you reach a certain age. Limiting sugars, carbs, etc. at least until you get to a more comfortable weight is the best way to go. Watch the calories for a while until you become comfortable with what you can eat and what you shouldn't. Eventually you will learn your body and know what causes problems/weight gain, etc. Once you get to maintenence, you will need to strike a balance with what you did to lose the weight and what you did the gain the weight in the first place. =0) I absolutely log logging on MFP because I can download my stats and graph them and compare them against my mood, weight, exercise logs, ailments, etc. You can really develop a full picture of what is going on with you by just committing to logging.

    Age doesn't matter. You can do this. I still have 60 pounds to go, but I have no doubt that I can get it done. You can too. Find a eating plan that works for you. People will often say that food choices don't matter and only calories matter...but that can vary from person to person depending on your health and specific metabolism. Calories is the first place you should start, then clean up your diet from there. But calorie restriction alone should be able to get at least that first 20 pounds off. Understand your TDEE and BMR and all that good stuff to make sure you are not restricting calories too much and lowering your metabolism. Ohh and exercise helps. Wont' solve all of your issues without being couple with good diet, but it definitely helps. Good Luck....you can do this!!!


    "Set weight" only matters insofar as your logging is imprecise.