Etiquette- Thank you cards ?

texakin20
texakin20 Posts: 98 Member
edited September 30 in Chit-Chat
When you take your children to a 5 yr old birthday party.. are you expecting a thank you card weeks later for the gift you brought? Even after your child gets to take home a goodie bag for coming?

Wondering what age Thank You cards are expected, or always, or never?

I am either feeling lazy, or bitter. I just do not think I need to send thank you cards to parents that brought there kids to the party, when I never get thank you's for the parties we attend. Am I the only one that does it? Thoughts? I will listen!

And good luck on your weight lose! :)

Replies

  • ChasesMumma927
    ChasesMumma927 Posts: 130 Member
    I dont think I ever got Thank You cards from anything other than baby showers bridal showers and weddings. It would be nice though.. I know if you go to the store you can get little kid themed birthday party thank you cards I have seen them. You know same theme as the ones you send out... But I never got one.

    I guess the goodie bag is a thank you ..
  • lcarter25
    lcarter25 Posts: 286 Member
    The goody bag is good enough!
  • lcarter25
    lcarter25 Posts: 286 Member
    The goody bag is good enough!
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
    If you feel like your kid had a good time/enjoyed the gift, sure - help them write a quick thank you note. Doesn't have to be long or involved. It's never too early. Just because someone else doesn't do it doesn't mean you can't, really. It's a day brightener to get something in snail mail besides spam or bills, you know?

    Just a thought.
  • tmacs
    tmacs Posts: 60
    I've always done "Thank you" cards since year one and yes I do expect them...although we don't always get them. Hope that helps! :)
  • tmacs
    tmacs Posts: 60
    If you feel like your kid had a good time/enjoyed the gift, sure - help them write a quick thank you note. Doesn't have to be long or involved. It's never too early. Just because someone else doesn't do it doesn't mean you can't, really. It's a day brightener to get something in snail mail besides spam or bills, you know?

    Just a thought.

    I completely agree with this statement. It makes me feel good to do it and I do involve my son, he colors on them typically. It sets a good example.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I wish more people taught their kids to do this. Even my nieces and nephews don't have to do this. (I think the problem is my in-laws didn't raise my husband's family to do this.) I always did. My mom was on me every birthday and every Christmas. I sent them for our wedding presents. IMO, we're just not teaching our children proper manners anymore.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I agree, don't let other people dictate your standards for etiquette. I have been a devoted thank you note writer since I was a little kid. I even send thank you notes to my brother and sister when they have me over for dinner at their homes and to friends for listening to me and offering advice if I'm dealing with something in my personal life. I think it's a good habit to establish early on with your kids. Manners will make them stand out from all the other street urchins when they get older.
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
    I tend to be a thank you texter rather than give thank you cards... you can send the same message to everyone on the list and doesn't cost you anything but people still appreciate the thank you. The only times I've gotten thank you cards is for baby and bridal showers and weddings
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I tend to be a thank you texter rather than give thank you cards... you can send the same message to everyone on the list and doesn't cost you anything but people still appreciate the thank you. The only times I've gotten thank you cards is for baby and bridal showers and weddings
    Texts aren't always free. I hated paying for each one I would receive, so now they've been deactivated on my phone. So no texts come through ever for me.

    But I do agree...it's really the thank you that's important. The non-verbal thank you. Anyone can say thank you. But to take the time to send a note, whether hand written, email, or even text, that's nice.
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    I sent out thank you cards after my baby's 1st birthday! It was a month late but they received them :)
  • whitejessamine
    whitejessamine Posts: 166
    We rarely do thank you cards, but my sister is a stickler about them, and I always enjoy getting them when I send my nephews and/or neice Christmas/birthday gifts. They're just a quick note that usually says "Thanks for the money. I'll use it to buy a toy." But they're handwritten by my neice/nephew, and it just brightens my day. For what that's worth...
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
    I've never received thank you cards for anything besides baby showers, and weddings. I've also never sent thank you cards for my sons birthday parties. Unless it was an extravagant or really meaningful gift, I personally wouldn't mess with thank you cards.
  • cedarhurst2006
    cedarhurst2006 Posts: 378 Member
    I was always brought up to send thank you cards as a kid and I have my daughter do it to! For a kid's party if there are alot in attendance, I would buy those nice bordered blank papers in a pack and do a word doc with a general thank you and maybe a group photo from the party. It may not be that personalized but I think sending a thank you is important .
  • mamathrash2
    mamathrash2 Posts: 80 Member
    Let's be honest, when you have little kids (my twin boys with be 3 on Aug. 28) it is the parent that does the thank you notes. In my opinion, if the person came to party and my kids walk over to them and say thank you then that is good enough for me. If they sent a gift and couldn't come to the party, then I would consider sending a thank you or calling them to let my child say thank you. I don't expect thank you notes because I just read them and throw them away so it's kind of wasteful. Just my opinion :)
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    thank you cards (and etiquette!) are dying off, unfortunately. I always send them. Never have gotten any in return except for weddings and showers.
  • KSfitgal
    KSfitgal Posts: 59 Member
    I remember growing up having to write thank you notes to family and friends who gave me gifts. The party you throw is really for your child and an appreciation for them. The thank you note has great value because time was taken to acknowledge that someone took the time to shop for you or your child - whoever the party is for - and time out of their own busy schedules to celebrate the birthday or event. If your child isn't old enough to write then writing a simple thank you note to the child they invited and letting them sign their name in the way they can really is a note to both the child and mother/father who brought them. I personally appreciate the thank you note even though I was thanked at the party and it is the adult writing it with the kid signing their name until they can write. It is proper etiquette - and should be taught. Also, you don't send them out of expectation in getting something in return. You are just a more classy person because you sent it versus the person who never does.
  • KSfitgal
    KSfitgal Posts: 59 Member
    I was always brought up to send thank you cards as a kid and I have my daughter do it to! For a kid's party if there are alot in attendance, I would buy those nice bordered blank papers in a pack and do a word doc with a general thank you and maybe a group photo from the party. It may not be that personalized but I think sending a thank you is important .

    @cedarhurst2006 I completely agree with you!!
  • KSfitgal
    KSfitgal Posts: 59 Member
    We rarely do thank you cards, but my sister is a stickler about them, and I always enjoy getting them when I send my nephews and/or neice Christmas/birthday gifts. They're just a quick note that usually says "Thanks for the money. I'll use it to buy a toy." But they're handwritten by my neice/nephew, and it just brightens my day. For what that's worth...

    I agree. I have a sister in law the same way - and those notes are precious. It is also just good etiquette even if it is a friend because while they won't see the sentimental value of those notes like a good auntie would - it still makes you feel good that the note was sent even if I just toss it into the recycling after I get it unless it is personalized or there is a special photo.
  • texakin20
    texakin20 Posts: 98 Member
    Good points and I am reading all of them. I am agreeing that maybe it is best for my daughter.. then "should or should not".

    There were a few people that went out of their way to be there, so I want to make sure I make them feel good at least for coming!
  • momcindy
    momcindy Posts: 194 Member
    I am a firm believer in thank-you notes...the real snail mail kind. I always had my kids send thank you's even when they were very young. Even when they couldn't write their name very well, I would write the note then have them sign it as best they could. Parents set the example but unfortunately most adults don't even bother doing this themselves.
  • phinners
    phinners Posts: 524 Member
    I dont expect to receive a TY card but I do receive them, but we as a family always send them out. The children do their own seperate cards from us adults. A proper note or card by proper post.

    eta - also as a crosstiticher I often do quick cross stitch cards for people to say Thank you, or whatever else.
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    Personally, I get my 6 yr old to write his own thank you cards for any presents received.

    So far I have received thank you cards from all if his friends when we have attended their parties...and I would never expect to receive them anyways...

    My son attends a private/independent school, therefore the classes are really small - 12 per class. There's about 70 pupils in the whole school. They all get on and look out for each other in his class, which is nice as events such as birthdays mean that bit more.

    I wouldn't worry. Sometimes I find it a little impolite too but I don't expect to receive thank you cards, therefore when we do it's means that bit more.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    I have gotten a thank you from each birthday attended this year withing 4 weeks of the party (all 5 and under). My son's party is next weekend and I plan on sending them.
  • Kat0310
    Kat0310 Posts: 341
    I was raised to always write thank you cards and am teaching my son to do the same. Some parents nowadays don't do the thank you notes and it does bug me but I guess it's just the day we live in. I do have to say that for more special occasions such as weddings, showers, etc. it is a must no matter what. I know my husband and I were very annoyed when we never got a thank you for the gift we gave his brother and new wife's wedding a couple years ago!
  • madyncaden
    madyncaden Posts: 290 Member
    I send them for everything!! Everyone of my kids bday parties, they are 2 and 5 and i do them for other things. showing appreciation for things in this day is a lost art. we dont show appreciation for anything or to anyone anymore and that is one reason that our society is so disrespectful! i am raising my kids to be thankful for things and appreciate what others do. BUT i do not look down on others or fault them if they dont do this. i think we need more kindness and appreciation between people in our world.
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