I'm starting to lose control. Gaining all of the weight back!

dguerrero5 · November 2017

Hello everyone,

I'm writing this post because this day officially marks the time I gained 10 pounds from what I was before. I started at ~190 with the target weight of 130. I reached 151 a couple of months ago after 8 months of calorie counting and realized that I didn't have the willpower to reach 130. Thus, I started maintaining..poorly. I have gained 10 pounds over the last month and a half an do not see it stopping any time soon. I stopped logging my calories last week as I've found it depressing to be eating 3k calories and having my weekly digest be so poor all the time. I officially have the same eating habits that I had when I was 190 pounds. If this keeps up, I'll be back there in a few months. I do not work out (and don't think I will any time soon). Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks for listening.

MichelleWithMoxie · November 2017

How old are you and how tall are you?

srkbalta · November 2017

It is a tough battle for sure. I am now trying the DASH diet along with this calculator and it keeps me on track better. Planning my daily meals is key for me. And we never give up. Turn the page and start over.

kommodevaran · November 2017

It sounds to me that you already think that you have no control. If you go back to your old eating habits, of course you will go back to the same weight. But you don't have to do that. Why don't you (want to) stick to the way you were eating when you lost weight? You don't have to work out, but you can, if you want to.

How tall are you? Maybe 160 pounds is a good weight for you.

What do you mean by I've found it depressing to be eating 3k calories and having my weekly digest be so poor all the time?

pogiguy05 · November 2017

Just like me and maybe alot of people I am my own worst enemy. I have started and stopped so many times. Something you dont think about right now cause you look to be still very young is the effect it will have when you get older. My cholesterol has been high since I started checking it in 2009. this year it was 249.

I think what he means by the 3K is that he was logging even when he was not eating right and seeing the amount he was consuming was to much so he stopped.

Unfortunately the only person that can truly motivate you is YOU. I wish i had a friend that I could go to the gym with, but I do not. however, after a medical issue this year that scared the crap out of me, I know that i need to do something now.

If you need motivation try volunteering at a retirement home where people who have had strokes and heart attacks need daily care cause they can no longer care for themselves independently. My wife and I have been doing this type of business for 15 years now and my medical issue this year was an eye opener for me. I am 51yo and not getting any younger so it is now or never.

Me after passing out and busting my face on the pavement. tooth went thru my bottom lip and as you can see broke two teeth. Had a concussion for about 6 weeks and could not remember simple words at times. YEH it scared me.

Francl27 · November 2017

Sorry OP. You're not alone. I gained 15 lbs back in 4 years because it's SO hard to stick to it without feeling deprived.

Without exercising though I would have gained 40 back. At least. Absolutely no way I can maintain without being active (I mostly walk though).

fiddletime · November 2017

You just have to start again. I’m here for the third time. I’ve regained twice before. I’m tired of it. I’m at the upper end of maintenance, not at goal weight. I’m just staying here for a few months and practicing maintaining. Been at this weight up and down a few pounds for 4 months.

Start logging. Really. Then work at getting back to maintenance. Maintain over the holidays. Relearn how to do it. Once you’re back on track, you can go for a deficit. One step at a time. But, YOU have to start. No time like the present. I know you can do this, since you did before.

itsaboutthattimeagain · November 2017

Hi OP. You have to find it within yourself to gain control of the situation. I understand you do not feel like working out. Might I suggest you try fitnessblender, and even start off with a 8-10min workout? Just force yourself and you will feel a lot better. Shave some calories off each day until you get down to your daily calorie goal to lose or maintain the desired weight. Even if its not eating that extra snack, etc. Try and make better nutritional choices...instead of eating a whole sandwich on white bread, eat half on wheat (example). Instead of drinking a can of soda, drink half (example). Take little steps until you get used to it again. Little steps are better than none and can help take some of the pressure you are putting on yourself and guilt. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Hang in there. You got this!

Orphia · November 2017

Make friends with being hungry occasionally.

You might as well keep trying because the time will pass anyway.

jrwms714 · November 2017

It may help, OP, if you realize there is no goal about this. Yes, there's the ultimate weight range that you would like to be, but then comes maintenance. This is a journey and it's a process and it doesn't have an end game. It is a continuous way of life. And, just like life, it doesn't always go smoothly, and you definitely hit bumps in the road. You have hit one of them, and you may have to ask yourself if you want to go past the bump, or just stare at it. Maintenance doesn't mean it's all over and done ... it means we just continually watch for those bumps and when we reach them, have figured out how to deal with them. And that doesn't mean that our entire lives revolve around that. Eventually, maintenance means we have made a commitment to ourselves and our bodies and we choose to honor that commitment the same way we honor the relationships we value in our lives. That being said, I wish you could find an exercise that works for you ... walking, swimming, biking, whatever. Some people really hate the gym, and you might be one of them. And maybe someone to do it with you. If you could find an exercise that you really like or at least can tolerate, it not only would help with weight loss/maintenance, but would help you improve your mood as well. These endorphins are terrific and long-lasting!!! Keep trying. Don't give up.

LiftHeavyThings27105 · November 2017

Dude, we are here to listen and to encourage. But, when all is said and done, no one BUT YOU can stop this minor set back. And, it likely feels huge to you. Don't give it power over you.

Take a mental break. Take a physical break. Do things that you enjoy. Get your mind right (and, that applies to all of us.....trust that!) and then tackle this head on. You know that you can do it. You have clearly done it before. So, success is simply two steps away.

Sounds like you set a goal for yourself that is simply not - at this point in time - attainable. So, forget that goal. Let that goal - possibly - be included in your next set of goals. So, there is no failure there. You aimed at something....it did not work out the way you wanted....what did you learn from that? Hopefully, a lot! Set yourself up for success. And, success requires adherence. If you dislike chicken but your meal plan is nothing but chicken, guess what? You will stop following that meal plan pretty dang soon after starting it and that spells disaster. So, point here - set your goal for 150 - 160. No worries, man!

Get your mind right. Get your mind solid. Find a plan that works for you. Follow that plan. Trust that plan. Set up mini-goals along the path to 150 - 160 (or, to whatever your Big Goal ends up being at this point). You get a few successes under your belt and all of this will be a thing of the past.

You know that you can do. You did it before. Take the lessons - both "good" and "bad" from that experience - and make a slightly better plan with a slightly better mind set and you will be golden!

It is that simple, right? Now, it is not easy. If it were easy then everyone would look like <insert stud of the week>, right?

myfitnesspale3 · November 2017

it makes perfect sense that if you are eating the same as before, and no additional activity, then you will return to a similar weight.

Many others have said, motivation for change is required. Have you got something to motivate you, other than the goal number? Think about how your family's health is affected by extra weight. Do you want to repeat that health history?

The other thing is, when you DO change diet, then when you lose the extra weight, you cannot reasonably expect to go back to the old diet, and still keep the extra weight off. That's why some people call it a lifestyle - it's not temporary.

Is hunger sapping your willpower? That can be managed, by higher proportions of fat and protein.

mysteps2beauty · November 2017

Well, I congratulate you! You have opened your eyes to the issue and came here to get advice. Nothing can be done until one admits a problem.

Food: Now is the time to try something different along with doing what has worked in the past. Yes, log, but also find new foods that you have never tried before. So much interesting things are out there. Make it a challenge to try something new once a month.

Movement: So many fun ways to move your body. Ballroom dancing, bowling, hiking, surfing, bikeriding, kickboxing....Try things, and if something seems more fun to do than others, make it a habit of doing it. The human body requires movement to be at its best. Walking is what I do and I feel so much better, sleep better and my mode stays positive, AND I get to eat extra calories that I've earned!

Maintenance is a dance. A chance to try new things, joined with things you have already mastered.

My story: I lost 45 lbs over 10 years ago on Weight Watchers. On Day One of maintenance, I enjoyed a food that I had totally eliminated during my losing period. That day was a spiral back to accumulating the 45 lbs I had lost, plus gaining an additional 45. I never learned how to incorporate the foods I enjoyed within my daily calories. Also, I never logged. I made dieting a chore, when it really is just enjoying eating without becoming a glutton, a problem we have in the US as we have an abundance of everything, including heart disease and other health ailments.

I think you have hit a slump but you have not stopped. This too is life. Nobody stays on the mountaintop forever. Life is about lows and highs...both have benefits and drawbacks. Beautiful thing is that you get to choose. Choose you.

nndarden · November 2017

The only problem with a lifestyle change is you have to do it for the rest of your life.

But, just because you hit a rough patch is no reason to throw all your progress in the can and swear off trying to make it to your goal. (Notice this post is more for me than you.)

Best of luck.

nxd10 · November 2017

You said it perfectly: You felt you didn't have the willpower. It's not about willpower and it's not about what kind of person you are.

You can do this. Set up your life so it's easy to get a lot of little exercise all the time. Park further from the door. Take a walk at lunch. Take the stairs. Don't keep snacks around. Look at your food log and pick out the foods that have a lot of calories that you don't care about. For me it was milk and bread and cheese. I eat all of them sometimes - I am not into self-flagellation. But I drink water or tea instead of milk (that saves me a few hundred calories a day). I have tortillas or soup or one slice of bread instead of two slices (another few hundred calories). I have an ounce of cheese instead of several. That and not taking the second or third cookie and taking a small piece of cake instead of a big one keeps me maintaining.

I have better things to think about than calories, so I set up habits so I don't have to think. It just happens.

cheryldumais · November 2017

Don't know how tall you are but it sounds like you probably don't need as many calories for maintenance as you might have suspected. I have gone through a very similar situation. It took me 2 years to lose 85 pounds and I did not get to my goal of 135. I am at 145 and should be able to maintain on 1550 calories but when I eat that I gain. Here's what I've learned. I have probably ingested more calories than I thought with a taste and bite here and there. Also I probably need to build some muscle. Having lost 85 pounds I am sure some of my muscle mass is gone. I have been eating at 1300 calories for over a year and have been reasonably content there. I can continue that for now. I need to slowly build some muscle and I might get another 100 or so calories. I am so much happier and healthier I am not willing to go back to my pre-MFP weight. I can still have a nice meal a few times a year so it's worth it to watch what I eat the rest of the time. Try to slowly get back on track. Add some kind of activity that you ENJOY. Don't do what everyone else tells you because it worked for them. Take it as slowly as you need to. The main thing is to stop yourself from gaining at this point. Don't panic. Good luck.

rsclause · November 2017

I feel your pain, I went from 228 lbs. down to 173 lbs. Last week I hit 205 and the new clothes I bought are getting tight. But hey, I know how to do this now. I am down 4 lbs. in two days so here I go again. OP, just do it!

KelGen02 · November 2017

You already sound like you have given up... you know what you have to do, you have done it before. Weight loss it not easy, it takes effort and hard work and right now you don't sound like you are willing to put that work in. Not judging, believe me that was me for many MANY years, right up to gaining over 60lbs getting to my highest weight ever, you couldn't tell me a thing to make me want to stick to a "diet"... I knew what needed to be done, just no desire to do it... Until a year ago, something in me just clicked and well I am down 72lbs, I did maintenance for a few months, stayed the same give or take 2-3lbs and now I am back at it to lose the remaining 25-30lbs. I guess what I am long winded trying to say is that ONLY YOU can make a change my friend. You want it, you'll do it... no excuses no justifications you will simply just do it! Good luck!

sgtx81 · November 2017

step 1 - change your self-talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSaV70YEcxU

step 2 - act out your new self-talk

step 3 - repeat along the way as needed

spiriteagle99 · November 2017

Every day is a new day. It's a chance to start over. Every meal is an opportunity to get back and stay on track. Focus on what you can do right now, today, to get yourself back in control. Go for a walk. Eat a double serving of vegetables. Say no to dessert, or maybe just eat half. Take it one day at a time. It does get easier.

One thing: there is a national registry/study of people who have lost a lot of weight, and kept it off. Most of them include exercise in their lives. Unless a physical issue makes it impossible to exercise, you will improve your chances of staying healthy and keeping weight off if you incorporate it into your daily life.

Radamidov · November 2017

I think the hardest part is first admitting that you are backsliding. I am sure that there is probably some emotional eating happening as well. I gained a whopping 5 lbs over Thanksgiving and on Monday I pulled myself up from my bootstraps and eliminated my carbs. doing low carb is the only thing that has every worked for me EVER and I've tried it all. So now I'm back on track, 2 lbs down and understanding that things are going to happen, you are going to have bdays and holidays and times when you just want a bagel and that is okay. It's what you do after. Its knowing and accepting that its about balance and its a process. Sometimes it take a while to figure out your equilibrium in terms of staying on course. My biggest advice is just start. I hate logging, I hate looking at macros, I hate not being to just eat what I want...but I have accepted it and moved on and now just try to find the balance even though I have moments (or many days) of not balanced eating.

I'm starting to lose control. Gaining all of the weight back!

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