Stronger, Better, Faster.......Feb 9th

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Renae_Nae
Renae_Nae Posts: 935 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
So I belong to another message board (one for Army wives) and I have some really good friends on there that I actually know and hang out with all the time.

Well, out of the 5 of us close friends only two of our husbands are home. We've always had get-together for everyone and it didn't seem to bother anyone that mine and one other wife's husband was there. But lately her husband has stopped showing up to things and it ends up being a bunch of girls and my husband. I didn't think it was a big deal and we've all had a good time. However, now there is a post about going out and it's "strictly girls." Ok, I understand she (the one I consider my best friend) doesn't exactly want to see me with my husband because her's is gone for a year but she knows that this fall we're going to be going through deployment number 2. We don't hug/kiss/cuddle or really even touch when we're around them. I also spend a lot of time as it is with the girls without my husband so I'm not going to spend a night out at the bars without him too! I guess what gets me the most is I'm going to have my husband leave right around the time her's comes home and then she's only going to want to spend time with him and I'm going to get cut out!

She's even stopped working out with me because my husband decided to start coming to the gym at night even though he doesn't work out with us! If I have to chose between her and my husband that there's no doubt he's going to win. It just upsets me because we have done so much for her and now I'm getting abandon by friends just because I don't have to sleep alone at night!

This sucks! I'm tired of the Army and the deployments and living 1,300 miles away from home. I'm tired of not knowing where I'm going to live in three years and knowing it could be anywhere from Korea to Germany to Alaska to the middle of no where.

Thanks for letting me get that out...it's been building up for a while.

sigh...I'm going to go make breakfast and work on my paper. I'll be back later to check in.

Replies

  • Renae_Nae
    Renae_Nae Posts: 935 Member
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    So I belong to another message board (one for Army wives) and I have some really good friends on there that I actually know and hang out with all the time.

    Well, out of the 5 of us close friends only two of our husbands are home. We've always had get-together for everyone and it didn't seem to bother anyone that mine and one other wife's husband was there. But lately her husband has stopped showing up to things and it ends up being a bunch of girls and my husband. I didn't think it was a big deal and we've all had a good time. However, now there is a post about going out and it's "strictly girls." Ok, I understand she (the one I consider my best friend) doesn't exactly want to see me with my husband because her's is gone for a year but she knows that this fall we're going to be going through deployment number 2. We don't hug/kiss/cuddle or really even touch when we're around them. I also spend a lot of time as it is with the girls without my husband so I'm not going to spend a night out at the bars without him too! I guess what gets me the most is I'm going to have my husband leave right around the time her's comes home and then she's only going to want to spend time with him and I'm going to get cut out!

    She's even stopped working out with me because my husband decided to start coming to the gym at night even though he doesn't work out with us! If I have to chose between her and my husband that there's no doubt he's going to win. It just upsets me because we have done so much for her and now I'm getting abandon by friends just because I don't have to sleep alone at night!

    This sucks! I'm tired of the Army and the deployments and living 1,300 miles away from home. I'm tired of not knowing where I'm going to live in three years and knowing it could be anywhere from Korea to Germany to Alaska to the middle of no where.

    Thanks for letting me get that out...it's been building up for a while.

    sigh...I'm going to go make breakfast and work on my paper. I'll be back later to check in.
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
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    Oh Renae, I'm sorry. . .you're in a tough situation (like unimaginably tough) made tougher by what my mom would call "tacky" behavior. It sounds like pure jealousy, maybe it's just too painful for her to see anyone with a husband right now. . .who knows? Can you talk to her about it?

    In the meantime, we're here for you.

    Today I think I'm much better. It's my goal to go to bikram tonight. Really. Seriously. I'm a little pissed that it's been so long since I've been, but I've just got to jump back in. It will probably be like the first time all over again, but I can't wait for the good night's sleep afterwards.

    So, lots of water today, good eating (no "treats" until next Sunday is the plan) and bikram.

    Take care.:flowerforyou:
  • GIBride01
    GIBride01 Posts: 328 Member
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    Hey,
    Just read your post, some women find it hard to see another woman with her husband when her husband is delpoyed. Seeing happiness reminds you of your unhappiness. I remember seeing people shopping at the grocery store with thier spouse and wanting to throw a can of soup at them, I think that is what I missed the most the times my husband was gone, the mundane day to day stuff. She is hurting and doesn't want to be reminded of her hurt by seeing you and your hubby together. Not logical, but probably true. Give her some one on one time, I bet you might see a different side of her. She isin't doing intentionally if she is a good person or to be petty or mean, her heart hurts. Us gals need to stick together, no one else truly gets this life. Give me an email if I can help, been doing this a while....:flowerforyou:
  • Renae_Nae
    Renae_Nae Posts: 935 Member
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    I'm in a better mood! (yeah that didn't take long)

    My husband got home from PT and noticed I was upset. We talked about it and he told me not to worry about it, she'll come around and I'll probably be the same way next year. After all, it is the week of Valentine's Day, a full-month, and it's our time of the month (yeah...we're on the same schedule because we hang out so much :laugh: ) so emotions are higher.

    ALSO! I lost .6 pounds since Saturday morning!!!!! :drinker: :heart: :love: I was scared because of how much I ate Saturday (well over 2,000 calories which is over my maintenance calories) and yesterday I had 1,500 calories (my new net calorie goal) . All of Jan I only lost .5 pounds and now I lost .6 in 3 days!!!! (did I mention it's that TOM too :blushing: ) Oh it feels good!
  • mechanicmom
    mechanicmom Posts: 5,695 Member
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    Renae, I can only imagine what a hard time all of you military wives go through. You are very strong women to be able to do what you do. I hope things smooth out with your friend. I am kind of going through that with women I know that are pregnant or have babies, or who talk about having baby blues. I don't think they really know what it is like to have baby blues...not unless they've lost a child. So I can kind of see what your friend is going through. And congrats on your weight loss!
    Vivia, I am glad you are feeling better today. :flowerforyou:
    I weighed myself three times this weekend. I wanted to see what happens over a few days with my body. Friday-I weighed 154, Saturday-151, Sunday-154 again. I know I am not drinking enough water so I am blaming it on that. I am hopeful that I really do weigh 151 and not 154. I'll find out again on Friday. I had a piece of cake on Saturday, and you know what? It was good as far as cake goes but it didn't make me feel the way I thought sweets did. Make sense? Also after eating that I craved sweets all day! And I was grouchy the next morning for no reason. I really think sugar or chocolate makes me grouchy!
    Today, I have a lot of cleaning to do. My inlaws are coming in tomorrow for the rest of the week, going home for the weekend, and then coming back next week for my MIL's treatments. I still have deep cleaning to do on top of that. Today will be "surface" cleaning and if I get all that done, then I will deep clean again. I also want to get a run in on the wii. I am losing weight but I need something else other than cleaning.
    So today is:
    cleaning
    start working on the autobiography of myself for the homestudy
    drink my water! I have to!
    run
    log food
    oh and push ups/sit ups
    I hope everyone else is doing okay! I'll check back later!
    MM
  • yoginimary
    yoginimary Posts: 6,783 Member
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    I'm glad you worked it out with your husband Renae. I would find it very difficult not to just drop my friends, when husband was home, if he was only home occasionally.
    Good luck with Bikram, V - be careful - that's a lot of sweat after being ill.
    What is your MIL going through MM? Did I miss something?

    Yesterday, I went for a walk - for my day off. Today is weights class and yoga. Water is falling from the sky. There is much rejoicing.

    I still haven't figured out what I want to be when I grow up - other than comfortable and fit. I'm having trouble deciding if I want to go through personal training certification, group exercise cert, or just leave that path alone. Won't be deciding this month - any extra income will go for a tooth crown :grumble: My dream is to find something I'm passionate about. Any one figure this out for themselves?

    Happy workouts!
  • mechanicmom
    mechanicmom Posts: 5,695 Member
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    Mary,
    My MIL has a tumor in her inner ear that's not cancerous but can cause problems because it is wrapped around some very important nerves that run down the spine. She already has a constant heartbeat sound in her ear from the blood pumping through. The doctors say it won't get any better with treatment but will stop it from growing. We are praying that it will get better for her because I know that must be really annoying!
    As far as figuring what I want to do when I grow up....I went to school for Automotive Technology, and since being a mom I have forgotten most of what I knew. I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything in the world, but I do miss hanging out with the guys and being smarter than most of them. :tongue: :laugh: I don't know what I want to be. A mom for sure, but what else? I don't know. My husband has recently become a deacon at our church and we have had numerous people tell us he has a gift for teaching and will probably be a pastor one day, so that would make me a pastor's wife, which terrifies me! lol. I know the Lord will prepare me for that when the day comes. Right now He wants me to focus on being a wife and mom. Speaking of which, I'd better get back to it. :happy: You'll figure it out Mary. Something will probably click and you'll know it's what you are suppose to do.
    MM
  • Renae_Nae
    Renae_Nae Posts: 935 Member
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    MM - I'll keep her in my prayers


    GOOD NEWS!!!!!! I just found out I'm an AUNTIE!!!! My neice was born at 8 pounds and 22 inches last night. I'll post pictures when I get them :heart:
  • agapita1965
    agapita1965 Posts: 130
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    Congratualtions, Auntie!

    Thanks for posting, it's good to hear from other army wives. I so get it - how hard it is to be so far from home and not knowing where the next move will be. I got so depressed when I moved here, I got depressed and gained a lot of weight for a year. This year, I finally snapped out of it and am making it a ME year. I was encouraged knowing I'm not the only one out there that gets stressed over army life sometimes.
  • ariannedavis
    ariannedavis Posts: 520 Member
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    Renae, hang in there & congrats (weight & Niece). My best friend (since the 4th grade) just moved to Korea to be with her husband. They got married a month before us, he deployed to Iraq a week later, then she shipped to Germany for 3 years while he served 2 stints back-to-back. I know what she went through; a lot of long distance phone calls helped her through it! Thanks for being an Army wife, 'cause those enlisted are not the only one's making sacrifices! :flowerforyou:

    Viv-I'm with Mary, be careful! Glad you're feeling better, but if your walk pooped you out, be ready to leave early from bikram.

    Melissa, I don't know that there are any requirements to being a preacher's wife; just be the best wife & mom you can be and you'll set all the positive examples necessary! Sounds like you already exceed the expectations :wink:

    I got in a great run this morning. It was about 40 with sunshine so I was able to run in shorts, long sleeve t & headband to keep the chill off my ears... so pretty to feel the sun, hear the birds and get some fresh air. Everyone should make a goal to get 30 minutes sunshine this week; gotta beat the SAD!!!! :drinker:
  • yoginimary
    yoginimary Posts: 6,783 Member
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    Best wishes for your MIL, MM. I think being a mom is the best thing you can do. It's not for me, but I'm appreciative of all the moms that raise their kids well.

    I hit the 2000 posts mark and didn't even realize it!

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